Star Crossed
by BlueBird Blues
Summary: As The Resistance awaits the return of Luke Skywalker, Poe Dameron is tasked with a new mission. He must seek out and safely escort a First Order defector back to the Resistance Base. While locating her proves to be an easy feat, her connections to the First Order prove more dangerous than he ever imagined. Set after the events of The Force Awakens. Poe X OC.
1. Chapter 1

A new fic. To those who read my other fics, I want to assure you, I have every intention of finishing them. I loved The Force Awakens. And I loved Poe. So naturally, a fic was born! Thank you reading and I hope you enjoy this intro!

* * *

 **The Runaway.**

Yasutra.

The planet was a shell; crippled by ravenous industry and greed. Most of the native life forms, both flora and fauna, had long since died out; destroyed by fire and furies. The, the planet had been carved out from the inside; it's most valued specimens harvested. What had once been a home to teeming ecosystem flush with life was now barren. Mountains once covered with trees and moss were arid and colorless. Now, it was nothing more than a rocky way-station. A last resort for hapless travelers.

Winter had come to the East Mountains. Traces of warmth and light only graced their surface for a paltry five hours each day. With the nightly chill came furious wind storms that bombarded the mountainous landscape, kicking up ash and impeding even the keenest of vision. Only the most hardened of life forms could survive in such a place.

Amongst the rocky terrain, a single remnant of a once thriving factory could still be seen. A door. It sat before a flattened ridge that overlooked the canyons below. Such a landing had not been accessed for nearly a decade. And yet, at it's center a small red light, continued to flash. A lone sign that somehow, even in the throes of a slow death, the planet still played host to life.

Suddenly, the light's monotonous tick increased its output by a half second, then it changed to green and the door it monitored slid open a crack. The door resisted at first, held back an heavy accumulation of coppery rust. A gloved hand flung out, gripped the door and dragged it open. It emitted loud, protesting groans, but finally gave way. A swell of heat from inside collided with the icy tempest outside, causing the figure to stumble back.

The wild winds knocked her hood away, revealing the heavily freckled face of a young woman. Her amber hair was wound up in a tight knot at the back of her head. She was clothed entirely in black, save for one gloveless hand.

Puffs of hot air left her mouth in ragged flurries. They were quickly caught up by the wind and carried away. The heat that kept her warm inside of the cavernous quarters was quick to dissipate. As the door slid shut behind her, she could feel flecks of frost begin to form on the tips of her eyelashes. She lifted her bare hand to her face, her fingers brushing against the skin under her eyes.

 _Wet._ Her brain registered before returning to more pressing concerns. Already, her exposed skin felt frozen through. She could feel the joints in her fingers go stiff, but it was a temporary inconvenience.

As she thought on all that had happened in the last ten hours, she could feel pressure growing in her chest.

 _Don't panic._ She tried to calm herself. But she couldn't quiet the voices in her head. Soon they began to mix together, making her dizzy.

She winced as another gust of wind assaulted her already chilled form. As she struggled to return her hood to head, she fought the urge to return to the safety of the base.

As if spurred on by the howling winds, one voice began to resonate louder than all the others. It was her own thankfully, chanting the same two words over and over.

No more.

 _ **No More**_.

She whirled, turning her attention back to the now sealed door. She knew very well what awaited her on the other side. Soon the transport ship would be repaired and she would be expected to escort her patient to the waiting hands of the Supreme Leader.

 _And then…_

"No, I can't." She said aloud, though her voice was far too shaky to convey the conviction that boiled in her gut. She felt her throat tighten and resisted the urge to wretch.

Unable to hold back any longer, she began muttering to herself. Her words came out in fractured sentences, barely audible against the shrill whining winds.

"How could he...I'm not-without a word! The _**bastard**_."

She turned away from the door, unable to dwell on it for a second longer. She focused her attention on the landscape before her blanketed in thick, gray winds.

Before the expansion, before the First Order had all but abandoned the planet, she had called Yasutra home. Though time had passed and though the landscape had changed dramatically, she remembered it's sweeping highlands well. Even now when all surviving vegetation was hidden under layers of ash, she knew what lay before her.

Beyond the canyon sat the Nonayasu Mines, abandoned now that the First Order had bled dry their cavernous walls of all vital metals and ore. And even further out lay the wastelands, with no sign of life except for…

 _Except for the Rebel Outpost._ She realized, a breath of hope hitching in her throat. ... _Likely abandoned._

 _Likely...but not confirmed._

She blinked, her eyes stinging under the strength of the icy winds. She considered her options, the time it would take, the consequences she would face if she were unsuccessful.

 _It's insane._ She thought; logic offering no solace. _Even if I make it there, the chances that there are still-_

 _ **No more**_ **.**

If she turned back, she knew what would happen. She couldn't change the outcome. She had no power there.

 _Run._ She thought. _It's the only chance you have._

Steeling herself, she lifted the hood of her coat over her head and shoved her bare hand deep into her pocket. She then veered to the right, where a set of stairs had been carved out of the stone.

She didn't allow herself a final look back. She knew if she did, she would falter.

So with frightened haste and newfound purpose, she began her descent and fled into the storm.

* * *

 **The Pilot.**

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Poe Dameron regretted the words the second they left his mouth. But he could do nothing to take them back.

He sat at a long table. Across from him sat two of his superiors. The first was his commander, Desmen Riker. He was portly man well past the age of service, but he was an ingenious strategist and had not lost his taste for excitement. He had served The Resistance for many years and had known Poe's father for quite some time. In times of boredom or grief, Poe would seek his counsel and never tired of the stories he would tell.

Sitting to RIker's left, was the General herself. She was clothed in jewel tones that suited her royal upbringing. She too, had many a story to tell about Poe's long gone parents, but she rarely spoke of the early days of the rebellion. Especially now, after the loss of Han Solo.

She looked upon him now with a humor and patience only a mother could muster.

Laid out on the table in front of them was a dossier. It was thin. Only three pages were contained in the folder. And Poe had already scanned each one of them twice over.

"You did request a new mission, Black Leader." His commander said, eyeing the file himself.

"Yeah, but-" Poe began.

"And after your admirable work on Jakku." Riker continued. "We believe you are the best person for this operation."

Poe shifted his attention to General Organa. She had not yet chosen to speak, but it was clear she shared Riker's opinions. Poe couldn't help but feel pride at such a glowing sentiment, though he would still need convincing that it was deserved. Afterall, he had not completed the mission on Jakku. Very little credit belonged to him.

"What makes you think you can trust the girl?" He asked.

"I've spoken with her directly." General Organa answered. "Our initial communication had led me to believe that what she has to offer is indispensable to our cause."

"Forgive me, General." Poe responded, "But it says on page two that the communication was unexpectedly cut short. What if it was intercepted? What if this is a trap?"

Leia smiled knowingly. The pilot had grown cautious after his last mission. It was likely a phase, soon to be shoved away after another easy victory. Still, it was a sign of growth and Leia was proud to be witness to it. Discretion, after all, was just as valuable as courage.

"Yasutra has become a dangerous planet in its decay." The General said. "Most of the transmissions received from that outpost have been incomplete."

Poe considered his options. He had been gunning for a new mission. For another chance to prove himself. He had been lauded for his efforts on Jakku and while there was no shame in such a failure, he was itching to complete a mission on his own.

He leaned forward, his eyes glancing over the first page again. It seemed unwise to chase a lead in what was still considered First Order territory. They couldn't risk the chance of being caught by the First Order, not now that Poe and many others knew the location of Luke Skywalker. Poe understood better than most that such information could not be kept from the First Order.

But if the General was assured that a successful mission was worth the peril, who was he to argue?

The plan was simple. He would fly out to the Outer Rim and the Resistance faction there would supply him with a new ship. A freighter most likely. Something small. Something the First Order would deem insignificant. He would then use the ship to make the journey to Yasutra and escort the defector back to the Resistance base.

 _A stealth mission._ He thought, adrenaline surging through him.

"General Organa," He said, grinning wide. "I won't let you down."

* * *

Yay, intro! If you are new to my fics, please know that my intro chapters are always shorter. And I do admit this is very short. I like to get all the pieces together before really diving in. That said, I would love to hear any initial thoughts you readers may have! I'm really excited to share this fic. Thank you so much for reading. 3


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! I'm so glad people are excited about this fic (over 100 follows already, that's crazy!). I'm having a blast writing it! Thank you for joining me on this adventure.

* * *

 **Escape**.

Landing on Yasutra was difficult. Had Poe the comfort of his own ship and controls, perhaps it would have been easier. But it was too great a risk to attempt such a mission in a ship bearing any known insignia let alone that of the Resistance. Instead, he had taken his own ship to a neighboring planet: the bantam, minimally populated Craas. It sat on the border of the Unknown Regions, far from the safety and protection of the now desolated Republic.

There his ship, Black One, would wait for his return; guarded by an old ally of his long dead father and his ever trusty companion, BB-8. The plucky little fellow had been anxious to join him but Poe, worrying that the mission could end in calamity, insisted it stay put.

Now, he piloted a small freighter on loan from Craas. It was an outdated model, but sturdy and held up surprisingly well under the duress of the stormy winds.

After donning his jacket, a new number he had required back on his home Yavin 4, Poe clamoured out of the cockpit and leapt to the ground.

He had made his landing close to the outpost. It was nearly ancient, originally built long before his birth. All recovered records noted that the bunker hadn't been in active use for nearly a decade. When the mayday transmission had first been received on D'Qar, The Resistance thought it nothing more than a fluke. It wasn't until the third attempt at connection did they choose to accept the call.

Poe approached the main door, blinking against the stinging winds. He had hoped his apprehension would subside before he had gotten this far. But worry was still eating away at him, distracting him from his drive to impress the General at any opportunity.

He stood before the door close to a minute. In his right hand, he gripped his blaster pistol. It had been one of his mother's and he considered it as lucky and as important to his cause as his buddy, BB-8. Having already deactivated the safety, his index finger hovered tentatively over the trigger.

Poe wasn't sure what he would find inside. The defector, alive and well? A body, discovered by the First Order and callously dealt with; left to rot? Or was it all a ruse? A trap he had all but barrelled into?

For only a moment he was enveloped in a memory. He could feel the pinch of shackles around his wrists. He could hear the screams of four dozen innocents, snuffed out one after the other. So many lives, destroyed because of him. And then, the voice of that masked psycho needling into his mind; trying to unspool his thoughts and pick out only what he desired.

Poe shook the thought away with a grimace.

 _She's in there._ He thought. _She's got to be._

Swallowing, he lifted his left hand and brought it down hard against the surface of the barricade four times. At each impact, hollow _bangs_ rang out, but they were barely audible over the winds.

For several neverending seconds, nothing happened.

Poe could feel his confidence began to wilt. Would this be another failed mission? Another let down? The thought left him cold. He did not want be the one to deliver more bad news to the General. She had been through well enough already.

Then with a sudden keening, the door shuddered open. A gust of wind raced inside ahead of him; eager to scope out the abandoned innards of the bunker.

Poe could make out nothing but his elongated shadow centered against the light that flooded in from behind him. He raised his blaster and stepped inside. The door creaked to a close behind him.

He kept moving forward as his eyes slowly adjusted to the light inside. Or rather, lack of light.

A single shaft, no wider than his arm, shone from a crack in the ceiling several feet ahead of him. He could see flecks of dust and ash pass through it, glinting like dull sparks as they floated in the air at stagnant pace. Several flickering pads of gray green light lined the bottom of the walls.

Aside from them, it didn't seem as though a single piece of tech was still functional. That the girl had managed to relay a signal to The Resistance was nothing short of a miracle.

 _Or it's extremely suspicious._ Poe thought.

"Hello?" He called, his voice echoing through the shell of a bunker. He stepped closer to the light, maneuvering around small collections of debris that covered the floor. He could make out remnants of broken down furniture, tech and weaponry. Most of what he saw looked useless, however. It was likely someone or something had come through and taken anything of true value long ago.

 _Maybe she_ _ **was**_ _discovered._ He thought as he inspected the floor. _These could be signs of a struggle._

He was no bounty hunter. He wasn't even a soldier. Poe would be the first to admit he didn't take well to ground work. His place was in the sky, unfettered by gravity.

"Anyone home?" He called, trying to sound unthreatening.

He lowered his blaster.

Behind him, he heard the distinct sound of shifting metal. But before he could turn, an arm shot out, slid under his arm and clung tightly to his chest. He felt a sharp steel blade against his throat, just under his jaw.

A second hand wove into the hair atop his head. Bare skin, cold as ice, kneaded into his skull. The hand forcefully guided his head backwards then down. He could really feel the pressure of the blade now; it dug into his skin threatening to slice through it.

"Don't move." A silky voice commanded from behind him.

 _Well, she's alive._ Poe thought, caustically.

"Alright." He responded, maintaining an amiable tone.

He lifted his hands high into the air. "I won't."

"And drop the blaster." The girl said, shifting the angle of the blade only slightly.

Poe was tempted to ignore her demand. While her grip was firm, he could feel her reedy form trembling against his back. She was either weary and cold or unable to hold him in such a stringent position for very long. He was willing to bet on the latter.

Even so, he complied and let the weapon fall from his hand. It hit the floor with a loud clatter, kicking up dust.

"You're the pilot?" She asked. The girl was nervous, but she hid it well. It was her pulse that betrayed her. Poe could feel it pounding rapidly in her wrist which was pressed tightly against his skull.

"I'm the pilot." Poe repeated slowly, hoping to reassure her.

He felt her chest withdraw as she took in a steadying breath. She loosened her grip on his hair only slightly.

"And who was it that sent you?" She continued.

"General Organa." Poe answered.

After a pause, she finally released him and shoved him away from her. He stumbled forward, through the shaft of light and spun around.

For some time, neither spoke, each taking a moment to assess and examine the other.

 _She certainly looks like a First Order lackey_. Poe thought.

Her hair, a light coppery shade, was constricted into a tight knot at the top of her head. She was clothed entirely in black, making it difficult to truly gauge her shape in the shadows. If she was lying to him and hiding a weapon or tracker on her, he couldn't tell. What he could make out, thanks only to small beam of light, were her eyes. They were a frigid, steely blue. They examined him pointedly; he couldn't tell if she was simply wary of him or entirely unimpressed.

 _He certainly doesn't look like a Resistance pilot._ She thought.

He was shorter than her by an inch or two. His dark hair was thick and unkempt, likely knocked around from the wind outside. But she suspected it didn't take much to make a man like him look a mess. He was dressed in loose, drab clothes: a gray low cut shirt, black trousers and a slate flight jacket. They were the clothes of a down-on-his-luck smuggler.

Certainly, this couldn't be the man chosen by the near legendary General Organa. Even as a child of the Empire, she had heard tales of the Princess. While most of them had been defamatory accounts of a foolish young woman, the truth could not be hidden. Leia Organa was more than an anarchistic royal, she was a thorn in the side of the Emperor. One of only a handful that had undone all the Empire had stood for. A true adversary.

 _And yet she sends this...vagabond._

"You don't look like a Resistance pilot." She said, bitingly.

"That's the point." Poe shot back. He glanced at the blaster on the floor. It had fallen a mere two feet from her. Any move to take it would likely result in its loss.

"Whatcha got there?" He asked, trying to draw her attention in and away. In the dim glowing light, he could see that what he had thought to be a knife looked more like a piece of severed debris.

She looked down, raised the hand still clutching it and inspected it herself.

"I'm not sure." She answered, truthfully. "It was all I could find."

She let it slip from her gloved hand and fall to the ground with a soft _clang_.

Poe relaxed. Only now was the playing field rightly leveled. If he made a grab for the blaster, at least he wouldn't run the risk of being slashed and wounded.

"How long have you been here?" Poe asked. He took a gentle step to his left and feigned an interest in further inspecting the shelter.

He could feel her eyes on him, carefully watching his every move.

"Two days I think, maybe three…" She answered. She ran her fingers over her brow, kneading at her sore flesh in careful, practiced motions. "I'm, uh, starting to lose track."

Poe turned to look at her. Her guard was slowly slipping away. He could see her exhaustion more clearly now. She must have been tired. And hungry. And half mad. Being locked away in a place like this, waiting and hoping for someone to come.

 _Unless she's lying._ The thought badgered him. _Unless she's had help or she's not alone here._

"You have a ship?" She asked, turning away from him and moving towards the door. "So, let's go."

With quick strides he caught up to her and grabbed her arm.

"Hey-" She tried to jerk away, but he held tightly and pulled her closer. Without the assistance of surprise, she couldn't overpower him.

"Hang on." He said, "Do you have the files you promised?"

A small, strange grin formed on her face, lighting a spark in her eyes. "Of course. I-"

"I'll need to see them before we-" Poe started.

Her smile thinned at his petulant interruption. She raised her free hand and touched a finger to her temple.

"All up here." She finished, coolly.

Poe, taken entirely by surprise, unconsciously loosened his grip. She shook free and stepped away.

"You've gotta be kidding me." He said, running a hand through his hair.

"You're meant to escort me to the safety of your base." She responded as she smoothed out the sleeve of her jacket. Her voice was lucid and easy now that she had the upper hand again.

"...Not ask questions."

She turned back to the door again, reaching for a control panel centered on the wall.

Poe followed her, his exasperation quickly turning to frustration.

"You expect me to trust you?" He spat; his face only inches from hers.

"No," She responded amicably. "I expect you to do what you're told."

Poe opened his mouth to retort, but his words were swallowed up by a much louder sound. A familiar _**BANG**_ emitted from the other side of the door.

The pair jumped backed, both thoroughly rattled. They shared a shaken look.

Someone else had found the bunker.

* * *

"Oh no." The girl said, stepping further backwards. She brushed past Poe and hit a button on the control panel.

Next to it, a rusting circular screen fizzled to life. From his position next to the door, Poe could only make out fuzzy shades of gray and black.

"It looks like a carrier ship." She said, her nose a mere inch from the screen. She gripped the side of it tightly with one hand, unable to swallow her rising nerves.

"Any stormtroopers?" Poe asked.

"Yes," She said, nearly breathless. "I can see five...or maybe six? There can't be any more, a ship that size can only hold so many."

The number seemed to relieve her, but to Poe they were odds he couldn't compete with. He wasn't skilled in ground combat and his shooting skills with a blaster were only just above mediocre. If they tried to take the attackers straight on, they would be easily overcome.

The pounding came again. Louder this time.

"Open the door!" A muffled voice barked from the other side.

"What do we do?" The girl asked; the words hitching in her throat.

"Is there another way out?" Poe asked, his mind racing.

She nodded. "There is."

Simultaneously, they made a dive for the blaster. Unfortunately, Poe was several steps further from it than her. She managed to swipe it away before he could make the leap.

With a grim, triumphant smirk, she lifted the strap over her shoulder and held tightly to the weapon.

"Come on, then."

She led him deeper into the bunker, down an ever narrowing hallway.

"Here." She said, dropping to her knees when they reached another barrier.

Poe watched her struggle with a seam in the floor. After a moment she was able to pry it upwards, revealing an emergency hatch hidden underneath.

"You sure about this?" Poe asked.

"It leads into the mines." She explained, carefully lowering herself down the ladder. "There's another exit through the tunnels. It's how I got in."

He wasn't allowed a chance to argue. From behind them a definite crash warned them that the door had been blown off it's hinges. Once she was clear, Poe slipped down after her and into the mines.

* * *

Thankfully, it didn't take long for the them to navigate the dark tunnels and find their way out. They emerged from mountainside, several feet above the bunker.

With the winds still raging they could just barely make out two ships below. Poe's ship stood to the right of the door. The carrier, only slightly larger, stood to the left.

The girl didn't hesitate. She began to scale the hillside in the direction of the freighter.

"Wait-!" Poe called over the howling winds.

"We can't wait!" She yelled back. "It won't take them long to complete their search. And your ship-"

He reached out and grabbed her arm again, pulling her close so he wouldn't have to shout.

"They'll have searched it." Poe said. "...Immobilized it."

"So now what?" She asked, her voice almost hoarse.

"We go for the carrier." He said, pointing to it. It was risky, but Poe was certain he would be able to fly it as surely as he flew the TIE Fighter.

"What?!" She yelped, incredulous. "Are you crazy? Those things can't make the jump to lightspeed. There's likely a destroyer hovering over the planet! It doesn't even move fast!"

"It doesn't need to move fast it just needs to move." Poe said, slapping her shoulder in what he hoped would be reassurance.

She stumbled forward, not expecting the contact and fixed him with a fervid glare.

He ignored her and began to scale down the hillside in the opposite direction. She watched him go and, realizing she had no other choice, followed him.

When they were within thirty feet of the distracted troopers, they ducked behind a larger rock. Only two of the troopers remained outside the bunker. The others were likely conducting a thorough search inside.

"Are you sure you can fly it?" She asked, clutching the blaster tightly.

Poe smirked. "I'm sure."

He caught her rolling her eyes, clearly impervious to his brash tenacity.

"You fire at the door to draw their attention away from the ship." Poe explained.

"But-" She started.

"I'll run around and get the ship started." He straightened up, readying himself for a sprint. "If there's anyone still inside, I can take them-"

"Wait!" She said, grabbing at his shoulder.

"What?"

"I-I can't-" She stuttered.

"You don't have to kill them," Poe reassured, thinking he understood her concern. "Or even wound them. Just get their attention."

"It's not that." She explained, looking down at the blaster in her hand. "I don't know how to fire one of these things."

Poe groaned. _Of course not._

"Then, we'll have to go with plan B" He said.

"What's plan B?" She asked.

Without hesitation, Poe reached over and snagged the blaster from her. Before she could protest, he sent a barrage of shots flying in the direction of stormtroopers.

"Run for it!" He yelled, leaping over the rock and barreling down the hillside.

"What?!" The girl yelped, rising to her feet.

"Hurry, Red!" He called over his shoulder.

 _Red?!_ She thought, aghast. Unable to argue, she scowled and took off after him.

Her tired bones, weakened by a lack of nourishment and proper rest, resisted her every stride. Mercifully, she had enough adrenaline left in her to match his pace. As they ran, they could hear and feel a string of return fire speeding past them. One shot grazed her boot, nearly tripping her up.

Poe reached the bridge first and hastily tried to find the button that would close it. The girl quickly caught up to him and dashed up the ramp and into the carrier without looking back.

"There's no one here!" She called, panting heavily.

 _Good._ Poe found the button at last. As the door rose to a close, he spun around and made for the control station.

"You ever fly one of these things?" He asked, excited by the opportunity to get behind another new ship.

"No!" She yelled back, clutching her stomach and trying to catch her breath.

Undaunted, Poe ignited the engine and guided the carrier into the air.

The girl, unprepared for such a swift takeoff, lost her footing and was knocked backwards. She hit the wall of the hull and cringed as a stabbing pain erupted in her shoulder.

Poe didn't hear her over his triumphant whooping.

As she watched him excitedly maneuver the carrier out the atmosphere and into space, she felt her heart drop into her stomach with a sickening plunk.

 _Just what have I gotten myself into?_ She wondered.

* * *

One the ship had leveled out, Poe shifted into autopilot and entered the destination coordinates into the system. It was a setback, having to hijack a ship that couldn't make the jump to lightspeed. But luckily Craas wasn't too far away. It was only a matter of time before he would be reunited with his X-wing and back on D'Qar.

He looked over his shoulder, searching for the girl. She was hunched over the floor, clutching at her shoulder. Poe tried and failed to conceal a chuckle.

"Sorry." He said, realizing that she must've taken a nasty spill.

She only huffed in response.

"There's an open seat." He offered, gesturing to the copilot's chair to his right.

She staggered to her feet, brushing several strands of hair back into place. She crossed the hull and carefully lowered herself into the seat.

Poe watched her, bemused. It was only then he realized then that he still didn't know her name.

"You gotta name, Red?" He asked. He looked back to the control panel, double checking that he had disabled the tracking system.

From his peripheral he could see her tense. When he turned she seemed to be deep in thought, in a place far away from the interior of their stolen ship.

Finally, she answered him.

"Bel."

"Bel," He repeated, carefully. Though it did suit her, the sound of it on her tongue didn't ring true.

"And that's your real name?" He pressed.

She just smiled wide and turned her attention back to the observation window.

"Well, I'm Poe." He said, after she failed to respond. "Poe Dameron."

Bel simply nodded in acknowledgment. Truthfully, she didn't care who the pilot was. She couldn't understand why he felt the need to ask for her name. He was just a steward tasked with delivering her to The Resistance.

 _I'm a glorified package._ She thought.

As she gazed out into the starscape ahead of her, she felt waves of dread flood her consciousness once more.

 _What have I done?_ She thought, color draining from her face. _What if we're caught?_

There were only so many possibilities. The pilot would certainly be killed. She would be returned to the First Order and severely punished.

 _Or killed._ She thought, bile filling her throat. _Branded a traitor and executed...just like all the others._

The thought chilled her still frozen bones. Swallowing, she focused her attention on the stars and tried to dismiss her fears.

 _After all,_ She reasoned.

 _There's no turning back now._

* * *

Thank you very much for reading! I can't wait to continue this story. I also want to extend a special thank you to Lauren, she let's me annoy her with my ideas and troubles for weeks now and I'm so grateful for her time and her wisdom. And as always, I would love to hear your thoughts. :0)


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for reading and a huge thank you to those who reviewed! I hope you enjoy this chapter.

* * *

 **Waves.**

While most would marvel at the sheer expanse of space laid out before him, General Hux only saw chaos: dozens of planets swarming with untamed life. And occupying those planets: millions of souls without direction; squandering resources and time.

Hux stood at the center of the _Exalt's_ observation portal, his back to the small crew that had managed to escape with him. They worked in near silence, explicitly aware of their superior's fury. It permeated the very air and left each and every one of them on edge. Even the most trivial of mistakes or disturbances could be cause for harsh disciplinary action.

The general was young. Arguably too young to hold such a prestigious rank. But what he lacked in experience he made up for with a determination so sincere, that some of his colleagues believed it bordered on absurdity.

As a child, Hux had been a prodigy amongst his peers. His parents, both fiercely loyal to the Empire, had instilled in him a sense of purpose and pride that never wavered. He worked tirelessly to continue his mother's work and studied strategy with his father until the man's untimely death.

His continued efforts soon brought about the creation of the Supreme Leader's new army. No longer would the First Order be weakened by droves of minimally talented clones. Thousands upon thousands of men, women and children had been meticulously molded by a conditioning system that his mother had contrived and that he himself had brought to stunning fruition. The fleet of soldiers was only the first crowning achievement in what Hux believed would be a long and prosperous military career.

The completion and subsequent success of the program thus far had catapulted him to the position of general. While several of the older officials grumbled upon hearing word of his promotion, they couldn't deny Hux's prowess as an officer. And it would be foolish to question the will of the Supreme Leader.

And yet, for all his achievements, Hux now found himself in serious trouble.

Very few were given a second chance after a failure. And Hux now found himself directly responsible for a miscarriage so grand it rivaled the destruction of the Deathstars long ago. Not only was the map to Skywalker delivered to the hands of the Resistance, but Starkiller Base has been destroyed. Demolished in a spectacular, fiery implosion. And, to add insult to injury, it's destruction had been orchestrated by a small team of Resistance fighters. It was an ugly, loathsome blemish on the general's pristine record.

Hux wasn't sure what news awaited him upon his return to the Unknown Regions. Would he be reprimanded? Would he be exiled? Or possibly even killed?

No, he couldn't be killed. He had the foresight to ensure that his involvement in the Stormtrooper conditioning process was necessary for success. Should he been killed, there was no one qualified enough to replace him. For now…

It was more likely he would be severely reprimanded. Or possibly demoted.

Hux swallowed, his blue eyes sparking furiously. The thought of a demotion was equal to a death sentence in his mind. His position over the army was a sturdy insurance, but it was not enough. He needed the backing and support of his fellows...and his rivals.

His penchant for precaution had always protected him in dangerous times and it would be his saving grace now. Somehow, he had managed to procure a begrudging alliance with the most vocal and powerful of his naysayers. But now that alliance was in jeopardy.

All because of his traitorous sister.

Since receiving the news of her desertion, Hux had been nearly consumed by his anger. The Supreme Leader was awaiting their return, but he could not return to the hidden base with her missing. And the longer it took to find her, the more impatient Snoke would become. All Hux could do now, was wait for the scouts to return from their search of the planet.

The _Exalt_ was considered by most a relic; an aging destroyer from the earlier days of the Empire's fall. Deemed to archaic for use, it had been abandoned on Yasutra at the time of the First Order's exodus deeper into the Unknown Regions. Miraculously, one of the surviving techs has discovered it was still functioning.

"Sir," Lieutenant Mitaka approached slowly from behind. He was a pale, seemingly fragile man, but his position meant he was often called upon to deliver news of an unwelcoming nature.

"Yes?" Hux answered, his eyes still trained on the starscape.

"The scouts have returned." Mitaka reported dutifully.

"Send them in." Hux ordered. His hands, gloved in leather, constricted into fists.

The leader of the squadron was first granted entrance. He was followed closely behind by two of his subordinates. The third had been taken to the med wing to treat a firing wound.

"Was she there?" Hux asked. His eyes were still trained on the window, but his focus was trained at the reflection of the captain behind him.

"She-I, yes, sir." The scout responded, stumbling over his words.

Hux could feel new waves of rage boiling in his gut. So far, he had not been presented with promising news. The both Mitaka and the scout captain executed caution with their words. Had they actually found her, they would have likely paraded her onto the deck. They had been programmed with an eagerness to please, after all.

Hux turned. "And…? _Where is she_?"

"We...don't know, sir. She-" the captain began.

"You don't know?" Hux seethed. It was only in times like these that he longed for the power of the Force. Had he such abilities, he would have crushed the captain right then and there. This was unacceptable. These were his troops. Mistakes were not tolerated.

"There was someone with her." The scout continued shakily. "They hijacked our carrier and escaped the planet's atmosphere-"

"Enough!" Hux shouted, raising a hand. The captain flinched.

Hux looked to Mitaka. "Send a squad after them. And find Captain Phasma. I must speak with her."

Mitaka nodded grimly and made his leave.

"Lieutenant." Hux called shrilly. "Make it clear. I want her alive."

"Understood, Sir." Mitaka confirmed.

The Scout Commander and his men watched the exchange with hushed unease. Hux returned his attention to the quaking bunch.

"You are dismissed," Hux addressed the scouts with atypical coolness.

The Captain and his men shared surprised glances. However, before they could make their leave, Hux had one last command to issue.

"Captain?" He called.

"Sir?" The scout commander could feel a thump growing in his throat.

"Before you make your report…" Hux began, returning his attention to the viewing portal. "You are to personally inform Ren of what has happened."

The Commander's face turned as white as his helmet. Still, he was compelled to enact every duty commanded of him without question or hesitation. He nodded mechanically, his body seeming to move against his will, and turned to leave.

His men, and those manning the _Exalt's_ controls, watched him go. It wasn't likely the hapless commander would ever been seen again.

* * *

Once Poe was certain they were not being followed, he set the carrier to autopilot. He couldn't remember a time he had attempted such a flight without the use of a hyperdrive. Hopefully they would make it to Craas before the scouts could make their report and rally more troops. If they were met with TIE fighters, their chances of survival were slim.

He glanced at the control board, awaiting the prediction of the time it would take to reach their destination. After a quick calculation, the screen reported that they would reach the planet in three hours. It was not a promising estimation, but Poe had already programmed the ship to fly at it's maximum speed and there was nothing more he could do.

So he leaned back in his chair, placed his hands behind his head and admired the view before him. Amongst the blanket of stars, he could see the planet Craas. It was a lush planet, boasting two large oceans and lands drenched in thick, thriving forests. It's greenery was only bested by the marsh planet Takodana.

Poe surveyed the starscape with reverence. When faced with such a sight, he was always reminded of his childhood on Yavin 4. Many times he dreamed of flying, escaping the planet and exploring new systems. It wasn't often he was allowed the chance to reflect on the vastness and beauty of the galaxy he had sworn to protect and he was thankful for it.

Every so often he would glance at his companion, trying once more to size her up in the limited light of the hull. It was still dim, but it was a considerable improvement over the darkness of the bunker.

She sat in the copilot's seat with the seemingly unnatural posture and stiffness of stormtrooper. Bel was a lanky woman, with an angular face and broader shoulders. Her clothing revealed nothing about her rank or position, expect that it seemed well made; a sign that she was no lowly officer. She would have to hold a higher rank if her claims about the information she possessed were true. It wasn't likely the totalitarian First Order would allow such valuable information to spread freely amongst their ranks.

The black color suited her, though it washed out what little color existed on her face. She didn't speak, she hardly even moved, but he could see in her eyes that she was deep in thought.

The silence only ended when a strange burbly sound permeated the hull. Poe looked over at Bel, confused. It certainly wasn't a mechanical sound. All systems reported that the ship was in fine condition. She had jumped at the sudden eruption and clamped her hands over her stomach.

The corner of Poe's mouth turned up in a coltish smirk. "Hungry?"

Bel flushed, mortified that her weakness had been so brazenly exposed. She applied more pressure to her stomach, but there was nothing she could do to quiet the gurgling.

"What do you think?" She snapped, trying and failing to maintain her composure.

Poe returned his attention to the controls, rolling his eyes as he did.

"Have a look around," he offered, genially. "There may be emergency rations stored somewhere."

Bel huffed and rose from her seat. Her coat unfurled behind her as she spun and made her way to the back of the ship. The swift movements only made her head spin and stomach quake more rapidly.

 _It's only a matter of time before I lose the last of this energy._ She thought, praying that there truly was sustenance hidden away somewhere.

A quick glance around didn't yield any promising results. It was just a carrier ship after all. An old one too. She hadn't seen the likes of it in almost a decade. Even if there was food or drink, there was a chance it would be far past expiration.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember the information given at the dozens of mandatory orientations she had been put through over the years. Sadly, not much time had been spent on what to do in dire situations or where to find tools stored to ensure survival. Only now did she truly see how harmful the brash First Order psyche was and how unprepared they were in the face of a loss.

 _That or they don't give a damn about soldiers stranded in a carrier vessel._ She thought, knowing that there was as much truth in that statement as there was in her first instinct.

She dropped to her knees, running her fingers over the back walls, feeling around for any sign of a hidden casing.

 _Nothing,_ She thought, her spirits reaching a new low.

As if to mirror her frustration, her stomach gurgled again somehow managing to be even louder than before.

"Find anything?" The pilot called from the front.

Bel felt her face go red hot. _Could he hear that?!_

She sighed, slumping against the back wall and rubbed her aching temples. Her decision to escape had come about with no planning whatsoever and now she was paying for it. She was weak with hunger, yet she craved water even more. Her head was pounding painfully and she still couldn't shake the fear that this was only a rocky waystation. Escape seemed impossible. Sooner than later she would end up back in the hands of her brother and the First Order.

Her eye caught sight of a small panel under her boot. Leaning forward, she inspected it carefully. There didn't seem to be any space for an opening. She removed her second glove and ran her finger over the crevice. It was just wide enough for the tip of her nail. Sliding it in, she angled it and hoped the top would force itself open. Just when she thought her nail would crack under the pressure, it popped up. She tossed the thin plastic covering aside and dipped her arm inside.

After feeling around she was able to pull up a small pack. It felt heavy for it's size and she worried that she had stumbled upon a repair kit or backup communications device rather than anything that could ward off her hunger.

Tearing it open, she found five thin sleeves containing packaged bits of food. They were the sort of rations made only to stimulate energy, but they would fill her empty belly and put a temporary end to the rumbling. She pulled two of them from the pack and let it fall back into the hole.

Returning to her seat, she plopped down and rested her feet on the edge of the console in front of her, crossing one leg over the other. Peeling back the packaging on the first portion, she inspected its contents. Each contained a slim piece of bread and a smaller packet containing necessary vitamins and proteins.

Without hesitation she pulled out the bread and took a hefty bite of it. It was as dry as the desert sands of Jakku and tasted of chalk. As she chewed, it turned into a gummy paste and she bit back the desire to spit it out. She swallowed the entire bite. As the lump slid down her throat, the bad taste was negated. At least something was going to fill her empty stomach.

It only took two large bites to finish off the bread. Next she tore open the sleeve. It contained an orange powdery substance, likely meant to be mixed with water. Unperturbed, she lifted the sleeve above her and let the contents fall into her mouth. She grimaced at the overly sour taste as the powder coated her tongue. A wave of shivers crawled up her spine as she forced herself to swallow it down.

Poe watched her with perplexed amusement. She had to have known he was watching her, there was nowhere to hide in a ship so small. And yet she tore at the rations with all the decorum of a ravenous Woolamander; tearing away at each piece with uninhibited vigor.

After she finished off the second package, she leaned back in her chair and let out a long, contented sigh. Though the bitter and tangy tastes still lingered unpleasantly on her tongue, the rations were doing their job; she no longer felt addled by hunger.

"You're certain we're not being followed? She asked, letting the packets drop to the ground.

"I'm sure" he said, glancing at the screens for a fourth time.

She looked over at him for the first time. Poe, not expecting it, didn't have the opportunity to hide his inquisitive stare.

"What?" She asked, caustically.

Poe, his curiosity still peaked, saw no reason to mix words.

"You ever gonna tell me what you were doing out there?" He ventured.

Her thin lips pursed into a straight line.

"I was waiting for you." She said with a phony grin.

"But why?" Poe urged.

She didn't answer at first. She seemed unperturbed by his questioning, which made Poe think she had no intention of answering truthfully.

"Does it matter?" She asked, finally.

It did matter. Poe knew better than any what it meant to disavow the First Order. He had seen the face of a deserter. When he met Finn, the boy was scared. No, terrified in his moment of escape. He had in an instant chosen to abandon the only life he had known. The boy was willing to risk his life to get away and it had shown on his face.

Bel, however...she was different. She seemed curiously at ease. Yes, she had shown fear at the threat of capture, but it was nothing compared to the terror that had consumed Finn. Finn, who now lay unconscious under strict medical care as a result of his betrayal.

"Yeah," He said, flatly. "It matters"

He discomfort with the mission,was growing stronger with each passing second.

 _The sooner this is over, the better._ He thought, grimacing.

Bel only grinned. "You don't like me, do you?"

Poe chose not to respond.

"Well," Bel said, still unaffected. "Let me assure you the feeling is mutual."

Silence returned to the hull. Poe kept his eyes trained on the stars, only shifting every couple of minutes to check the time.

Two hours turned to one. One turned to twenty minutes. Twenty minutes quickly became five. But then-

A series a screeching beeps erupted from the control panel, causing both passengers to jump. Poe glanced at each of the screens, each one reporting the same thing.

 _Attackers approaching._

"Better strap in." Poe said, doing so himself.

"What is it?" Bel asked.

"TIE fighters." Poe said grimly. "Two of them."

Poe took control of the ship once more.

"What can we do?" Bel asked, fearing the worst.

"We're almost there." Poe said.

"Almost there?!" Bel repeated. "What does that matter? We can't outrun them! Not in this thing."

"No harm in trying." Poe grinned.

Bel clutched her seat tightly. "You're crazy."

"I prefer daring." Poe corrected.

It didn't take long for the fighters to overtake them, but with some skilled weaving Poe managed to evade the first string of shots.

 _They're not aiming to kill._ He thought, sparing a glance at the girl. Could it be possible they wanted to take her alive? And if that was the case, why?

The fourth shot grazed the right wing.

"We're over the ocean!" Poe shouted, "We might be able to lose them in the fog."

They had only just broken through the atmosphere when the first shot hit. It slammed through the right wing sending the carrier ship spinning.

Poe cursed, this was not how he had planned to break the barrier. As he tried to regain balance, he could feel the full force of gravity pulling the ship down. They were falling fast. Too fast.

Below blankets of morning fog, Poe could make out an ocean, a dark gray mass that seemed to envelope an even darker shoreline.

"I'm going to try for a soft landing!" Poe yelled over the shrill beeps.

"Soft?!" Bel shouted back. _Surely he doesn't think that's even possible?!_

"Can you swim?" Poe asked.

"What? I-yes!" Bel cried, trying not to give in to panic.

"We're falling too fast," Poe continued. "I don't think I can make it to the shore. And I'd rather hit the ocean than those rocks on the shore!"

Bel ventured a look out the observation portal. Her heart fell into her stomach. They were falling fast, incredibly fast. And he was right. They would have to hit the water.

"Oh-" Bel started, but she was unsure of what to say. All she knew was she wanted to scream. But what good would that do?

"It's going to be okay!"

Bel looked back to Poe, incredulous. "What?!"

"I'm going to put us down as gently as I can." Poe shouted louder. "When we make impact remember to breath. We'll break the glass and swim out!"

Bel realized he was trying to reassure her. It seemed like a wasted gesture. Nothing, not even his easy grin could shake her fear away.

"Get ready!" Poe shouted, turning his attention back to the controls.

Bel gripped her seat so tightly she thought it would break under the pressure.

"Hold on!" Poe called, with only seconds to go.

Unable to help herself, Bel's eyes fell shut awaiting the terrible collision.

* * *

It took several seconds for Bel to recover from the initial shock of the landing. There had been no way to fully prepare for it. Somehow she had managed to protect her head from the jolt, but a sharp pain radiated in her neck and shoulder. But she was dizzy, so dizzy that her world was rocking violently back and forth. She could smell salt and she could feel water sloshing around her feet.

 _Oh no._

It was just as she had feared. They had not reached the shore. The ship was caught up in the rolling waves. As her vision steadied, she could see that the glass had been broken. Bel watched, horrified as water began to flood into the hull; covering the control panel and sending sparks into the air.

 _This is bad._ Bel thought, her rapid heartbeats pounding painfully in her head. _This is really bad._

"Hey!" She shouted, her fingers working hurriedly at the safety belt around her chest. "Pilot!"

When he didn't respond, she looked over and saw to her dismay that he was slumped forward and still as a statue.

"Shit." Bel whispered. Finally, she managed to hit the lock right and the belts flew free. She pushed herself out of the chair and fell to her knees before his seat. She pushed him back and tried to undo his belt.

"Hey, Dameron." She called as she worked on the lock. He didn't answer.

Once it was free, she placed her hands on his shoulders and shook vigorously. "Poe!"

Still nothing. Breathless, she pulled herself up and pressed her fingers to his wrist.

 _He has a pulse._

There was a gash on the side of his head, just above his brow. It wasn't bleeding heavily, but the damage had been done.

There was no time to hesitate. The water level was rising quickly. Soon the ship would begin to sink. With a groan she hoisted his arm over her neck and tried to pull him from his seat. But he was heavy. Too heavy.

She dropped him, cursing loudly.

"Poe!" She yelled, shaking him once more. "Wake up. Wake up!"

It was no use. He was out cold.

Scrambling, she tried to lift him again. This time wrapping her arms around his torso.

 _What- what is that?_

She let him down again. There was something strapped to his back. Something she hadn't noticed before. It was slim and the material's color matched his jacket. Undoing the straps across his chest, she pulled it loose. It was heavy.

 _A...parachute?_ Bel realized, after tugging at the zipper. _He- all this time? He had a parachute?_

The hull groaned loudly as another wave crashed into it, spilling more water inside.

Bel lifted him up again and pulled him over her back. Even with the help of the rising water, it took every ounce of strength in her to escape the sinking carrier. Once in the open water, she was sure for a second that they would sink. But adrenaline surged through her veins and she began paddling.

It was a slow journey. The muscles in her legs began to constrict, lighting up like they were on fire. She had to gasp for air, and her mouth kept filling with salty water. Drops of it stung her eyes and marred her vision.

For a swift second she feared she was heading the wrong direction, deeper into the ocean. But she was sure she could make out the shore ahead of her. She was close. But was she close enough?

 _Almost._ She thought. _You can do it._

The ocean below them wasn't deep, but if Poe fell too far under the surface Bel didn't think she had the strength to drag him back up. If she didn't get him to shore now, he would drown.

Finally, _mercifully_ , she reached the shore. She cried out in relief, coughing up water. With the last of her strength she pulled the pilot out further up the shore, dropping him on his back.

Once she confirmed he was still breathing, she collapsed onto her hands and knees beside him gasping for air.

 _It no use._ Bel thought, unsure of whether the wetness falling down her face was of the ocean or her own eyes. _I can't get away. What was I thinking!? I'll be killed before he lets me get away._

As the sharp pain in her lungs began to subside, she could hear more than her own panicked inhaling and exhaling. Her body, numb from the terrifying excitement of the ordeal soon began to regain feeling.

She was drenched. Soaked through to the bone and freezing cold. Her clothes clung to her skin so tightly it felt as though she would never be able to remove them. If she weren't so utterly exhausted, perhaps she would be wracked with shivers. But she didn't have an ounce of strength left in her.

 _Soon the TIE Fighters will come by. And that's it. It's all over._

The waves, now so shallow they barely reached her wrists, lapped up against her in a slow, steady succession.

She looked at her hands. They were ghostly pale, almost blue against the coarse black sand they were slowly sinking into. Straining she lifted her head to take in her surroundings.

She had managed to drag herself and the pilot to shore alright. Just over fifty feet ahead of her, she could make out a rocky cliffside in the thinning fog. Branches of trees that had somehow managed to grow out from it's side, hung low to the ground their long wispy leaves nearly touching the sandy floor.

On either side of her lay stretches of obsidian-tinged beach, but no signs of life were present. All she could see were jagged rocks and lone branches dotting the shoreline.

Against the painful protestations of her limbs she rose to her feet again. As she did so the pounding in her head grew more persistent and she nearly fell over.

"Ah." She cursed. There was a prevalent pain in her right arm. Lifting it, she inspected the damage. Her sleeve had been torn open just under the shoulder. Her skin was bruised, yellowing and swollen. There was some scrapes bearing small dots of blood, but they was shallow.

She looked down at the pilot. The gash on his forehead didn't look good. Leaning down, she inspected him with a heavy heart. A wound like that meant he would be unconscious for some time. He likely suffered a concussion at the impact. Even if he did wake soon, he would need to rest.

Bel surveyed the shore once more. The TIE's would have to fly close to spot them in the fog, but they wouldn't shy away from trying. If she stood any chance of evading capture, she would have to leave. Now.

The pilot emitted a pained groan. She looked down at him again, the gears of her mind slowing to a halt.

 _You have to run, Bel._ Her instinct screamed. _Just leave him._

"No." She said aloud. Her hands went to her head, her fingers knotting in her hair.

 _He had a parachute. He could've jumped. He could've left you. He_ _ **should**_ _have left you._

She turned around and looked out at the sea. Any sign of the carrier had been swallowed up by the ocean. She lowered her hands down past her face and under her chin, balling them into fists.

 _But he didn't._

Her eyes slipped shut. She focused on steadying her breath. And the sound of the waves. They moved about her ankles and a halcyon pace, easing the hurried flow of blood through her veins.

 _Waves are rolling._ She thought, steadying her breath. _The planet is turning. And I am here. I can hear it. Feel it. I'm okay. I am alive. Because of him._

After a moment, her eyes fluttered open. The gray light, dim thanks to the fog, only calmed her further.

 _I can't run._ She concluded. _I can't leave him._

She turned her back to the sea, searching for any sign of refuge.

 _There._

Unless her eyes were playing tricks on her, she could see a cove several dozen feet to her left.

 _If I rest just a moment longer,_ she thought. _I can drag him over there. At least we'll be hidden until he wakes._

She inhaled deeply, slumped in the sand and waited for her strength to return.

* * *

It's a bit of a cliffhanger, I know. But I will be updating very soon! My running goal is to have this story completed before Marvel's Civil War comes out. And, I might as well say it now, there's a chance there will be a sequel to this story! At least, I would like to continue it. It all depends on the next movie. Which is so. very. far. away. T - T

As always, thank you for reading and if you could, please review! :0)


	4. Chapter 4

I'm so glad people are liking this fic. The past few chapters have sort of felt like an extended introduction (and grueling for me; action is not my strong suit). It's slowly building to some fun stuff! Thank you for reading :0)

* * *

 **Reprieve**.

Bel kept her eyes trained on the shoreline, watching small waves slink up the sandy bank and then lazily recede. Though her clothes were close to being dry again, grains of sand were still stuck to her skin. A small agitation compared to the exhaustion that seemed to cover her like a veil.

Now that she had managed to escape the turbulent sea, the storm that had riled the surf during their less than gentle landing had begun to subside. All that remained was a thick layer of fog. Aside from the rolling waves, everything was still. The waterfront remained empty of any other signs of life. Bel listened to the steady push and pull of the tide, trying to remember the last time she had been so close to an ocean. It certainly wasn't the first time, but the only memory she could recall happened so long ago it was nothing but a blur.

She was tired. More so than she had ever been in all her life. She could feel it in her bones. They ached as though they had been in motion for thousands of years. Her heart drummed heavily in her chest, the force of it nearly rocking her back and forth in time with the current. She was desperate for sleep. For a pillow. A bed. Hell, even the sandy floor below her would suffice.

 _And I don't care if I ever wake up again._ It was a fleeting thought. Unrealistic, but pleasant none the less. To fall, to sleep forever. To be free from her brother and his loathsome stratagems. Free from regret and fear. Free from the First Order's agenda. Free to make her own choices.

 _That's why you're running. That's why you're doing this._ She thought. _To escape all that. And_ _ **live**_ _. Don't forget it._

If it wasn't for the constant flurry of 'what ifs' that continued to buzz around in her head, it was likely she would be lulled to unconsciousness by the steady cycle of the waves.

But she couldn't fall asleep. Not now. Someone had to remain vigilant. She knew better than most that her brother would not be appeased by a sunken carrier ship. It was likely he had ordered her capture, not her destruction. And without damning proof he would not call a halt to the search.

She was wise to hide in the safety of the cove. Twice she had heard the TIE fighters pass overhead, but she couldn't make out their exact location through the fog. It seemed that finally luck was on their side.

Bel glanced down at Poe. He lay beside her, stretched out on his back and temporarily lost to the world. His chest rose and fell in a slow motion. He was alive. Alive, but likely concussed. She couldn't be sure when he would wake. Fortunately, the gash on his head was not deep but it was fairly long. At nearly four inches it stretched from his right brow up past his hair line. As a temporary fix, Bel had torn the already ripped sleeve from her right arm and used it as dressing for the pilot's wound. Hopefully, the wound would close up quickly and she wouldn't have to worry about an infection.

Bel sighed heavily. _So much for an easy transfer._ She thought, recalling her first discussion with General Organa. She replayed the conversation in her mind over again. And then again. Trying with all her might to stay awake.

* * *

Before he could open his eyes, before he even remembered he _had_ eyes, Poe heard the sound of waves quietly crashing on a shore. His sense of smell came next and with it the familiar scent of salt and seagrass. Unable to see and unable to discern the extent of his surroundings, he focused instead on the waves. And the pain.

There was a pain in his head. One he had felt before on a number of occasions.

 _Must've crashed_. He realized. It certainly wasn't the first time and it wouldn't be last. Even the best aviators fell from the sky under heavy fire. Or was there heavy fire? He couldn't remember.

To an amateur pilot, memory loss would be cause for great concern, but Poe had experienced his fair share of wrecks and he knew his memory would return soon enough. What mattered now was assessing his injuries and location.

He listened to the waves, hoping they would help jog his muddled mind. They didn't sound all that far away. And he could feel a grainy breeze against his unprotected face. He was likely very close to the shore, somehow far enough away to avoid being hit by a wave and sucked into the sea.

He tried to recount the landing. What had gone wrong? He must not have been wearing a helmet. A foolish thing to do. But perhaps...perhaps he didn't have access to one.

 _Ah,_ He thought, the pain growing more fervent as his consciousness grew clearer. _Who knows…who cares, doesn't matter now._

It was all a blur. He couldn't pinpoint a single detail. All he could remember was the simplest explanation: a nasty drop and a short stop. The worst kind of landing.

With practiced caution, he opened his eyes only to be assaulted by bright, gray light. He shut them again, dots of silver light collecting beneath his eyelids.

Slowly, Poe rolled his head to the right. He could see a stretch of beach, outlined by the opening of a towering cove. Sure enough, small waves were making their way up the shore, only to be drawn quickly back by gravity's pull. Their foamy edges clung fruitlessly to the shoreline, unable to ignore the call of the sea's depths. Whatever planet he was on, it was home to a black sand ocean. _That narrows it down at least. To...to..._

He wracked his brain. What planets had black sand beaches? What planets had oceans? Certainly not all of them. What had he been doing at the time of the crash? Hell, what was his name?

He tried to think on it, searching his shaken brain for any relevant detail. But the organ felt like mush in his skull. A piece of fruit after a collision, bruised and oozing pulp.

With the same sense of caution, he moved his head to the left.

 _I'm not alone._

Someone was seated next to him. A woman. Her legs her bent, her arms rested on her knees. She was looking out at the sea, unaware that he had regained consciousness.

She wasn't an enemy. Somehow he knew that. But...she wasn't a friend either. She was a smuggler. No. That wasn't right. A pilot with the Republic? No, impossible now that the First Order had-that was it! She was a defector. From the First Order.

What was her name? He was certain she had told him. As he mulled it over, his vision sharpened.

Something was different. Her jacket was gone and her sleeve had been torn off. He could make out a thin laceration scaling her upper arm from shoulder to elbow.

Without thinking, he tried to lift his head. A new sharper pain erupted. He gasped, letting his head fall again.

Now alerted to his consciousness, the woman turned. Her clear blue eyes seared into his, icy but somehow they still managed to fill him with warmth.

 _Bel._ He remembered. Her name was Bel.

"Hey." She said, her voice barely audible. She sounded tired, even more so than before. Her hair was pulled back into a braid now, still damp and stiff from the ocean waters no doubt. Dark shadows were visible under eyes and she seemed even paler than she had on the carrier. If it weren't for the soft orange blush of her hair, she would greatly resemble a wandering ghost.

 _The carrier!_ Poe thought, as his memory jolted to life. They were being chased. By the First Order. By TIE Fighters.

Poe grunted and clumsily lifted himself to a sitting position.

"Oh no," Bel started, shifting on to her knees. "Don't-"

He didn't hear her. The pressure in his skull was growing more fervent and it distracted him. No sooner was he standing, did his head begin to spin violently. He retched, the bile in his stomach climbing up his throat and threatening to spill out of his mouth. Before he could grasp what was happening, he found himself on the ground again.

Bel crawled over to his side, catching his shoulders and holding firm.

"You shouldn't-would you just...Sit!" She commanded forcefully as he resisted her. He was dazed and likely addled by the damage the force of the crash and wrought. But Bel had experienced her fair share of shaken invalids.

"We need to go-" He snapped, trying to break away.

"You're injured." Bel explained, calmly but firmly. "If you don't rest-"

"I'm fine," He mumbled, though he barely managed to string the words together.

"You're not fine." Bel scoffed. "You have a concussion."

"Yeah? How would you-"

"I'm a doctor." She spat, finally managed to push him down. "The TIE's are long gone! Would you just-"

Poe stilled. "Gone? How could they be gone?"

As a resistance pilot, he was no stranger to the ruthlessness of the First Order. Once a target was marked, First Order squads would do almost anything to ensure capture. Even in the face of possible death. It was an honor amongst the TIE pilots, to die for the cause of their leaders.

"Just...please lay still." She said, more gently this time. Her grip loosened and placed on hand on his chest, lightly pressing him down. Poe relented, letting his head fall back onto the sandy ground below him.

He gazed up at the sky, but all he could see what a thick layer of fog.

 _The fog_. He realized. _And the cove. It's cover._

With his anxieties placated, Poe's attention returned to the pain in his head. He groaned and lifted a hand to assess the damage. Before he could make contact, Bel swatted his hand away.

"I _said_ be still." She chastised coolly.

She leaned over him to begin her own inspection. Carefully she undid the makeshift bandage. Poe closed his eyes, cringing as she worked. Only now could he begin to understand the degree of damage. It seemed as though he hadn't simply bumped his head. Her fingers moved deftly over his skin, careful not to apply unnecessary pressure. She pushed his damp (and now very curly) hair away from his forehead, scrutinizing the wound with a keen eye.

"Open your eyes." She ordered in a whisper. He complied, but winced at having to adjust to the near blinding gray light all over again.

Bel peered in closer, resting her arm on his chest to steady herself; her nose almost touching his. Poe could feel her steady breath against his cheeks.

 _His right pupil is dilated._ Bel thought, her brow furrowing. _And he's a bit slow to react._

"Do you remember what happened?" She asked slowly, hoping not to alarm him.

"We crashed." Poe answered.

He caught sight of her grin, even though it lasted only a second. "Yes, but how?"

"There was...we were chased off of Yasutra."

"Yes, that's correct." Bel said, relieved. His memory was foggy, but not gone completely. And he voiced his answers rather quickly. Perhaps it wasn't as bad as she had first feared.

 _Hopefully, he still remembers the directive_ , she thought, reapplying the sleeve wrap as carefully as she could.

"Well," She said, pulling away. "You definitely have a concussion."

She leaned back, brushing hair from her face with her arm. He could see specks of blood on her fingertips. She stood up then and ventured out of the cove.

"You can sit up." She called, sensing his restlessness. "Only if you do so slowly."

He did as she said, watching her approach the waves and bend down to wash her hands in the water.

"Where's the carrier?" He asked when she returned.

"Probably on the ocean floor by now." She answered, sitting down beside him.

Poe looked out to the ocean. Shreds of memory flashed in his head. So they did hit the water. He couldn't understand it. In his memory, the surf had been strong. Strong enough to knock the ship around. Now, it was almost glassy.

"How long was I out?" He asked, dreading the answer.

"An hour or two maybe," She said, her eyes trained on the gray horizon. "I'm not sure…"

"So…you waited here?" He asked. "What about the TIE fighters?"

"They flew by three times." She recalled. "I couldn't see them through the fog, but I could hear them. It seems they had their attention trained on the water...Lucky for us."

Poe tried to piece together the memories of what had transpired. The carrier had been hit as they breached the atmosphere. And then...and then…

 _ **Hey, Pilot! Dameron...Poe! Wake up!**_

"You pulled me out." Poe said aloud.

"Hmm?" Bel asked, lost in her own thoughts.

"You pulled me out of the water." He said again, surprised.

She turned to look at him. Her face was flushed, as if she were embarrassed that he remembered. She turned away, tugging nervously at her braid.

"And you had a parachute." She said, softly.

"What?"

"You had a parachute." She repeated, her eyes trained on the sandy floor. "You could've jumped."

She looked at him then and for several seconds neither one of them spoke.

 _I guess we can trust each other after all._

* * *

After sometime, the tide began to grow closer. The afternoon was approaching and soon the fog would be burned away and a large piece of their cover would be gone.

Bel stood, brushing sand off her trousers. "We should move."

She pulled her coat from the ground and wrapped the sleeves around her waist. Then, she offered Poe her hand.

He faltered at the thought of standing up, but he knew she was right. It would only be a matter of time before the squadron returned.

He took her hand and let her assist him. His head began to spin again, but it was must slower this time.

"How do you feel?" Bel asked, allowing him a moment to collect himself.

"Good enough." He said brusquely. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Bel asked, peering out of the cove.

Poe gestured to her arm.

Bel looked down. _Oh, forgot about that._

"It's just a scratch." She said, grinning uneasily. "Nothing to worry about."

Poe grinned back. "Well, then. I guess we should go."

"But where?" Bel asked, "Do you know where we are?"

"Not really no." Poe said honestly.

Bel huffed. "Do you at least know what planet we're on?"

"Craas." Poe said, confident he was correct. "And there's only one ocean. If we head inland we should reach one of the trading posts."

Bel was hesitant. If they followed the shoreline they were likely to come across a port. Heading inland could result in them getting hopelessly lost.

"But shouldn't we-" She started.

"Hey," Poe interrupted, stepping out of the safety of the cove. "Don't you trust me?"

Bel's eyes traveled up to his bandaged head. Before she could speak to her concerns, his voice echoed in her head.

 _I'm going to put her down in the water. It's going to be okay! Get ready!_

She couldn't deny it. His actions had saved them from both a grisly death and an even grislier capture.

 _That and I have no knowledge of this planet or it's people. Perhaps the ports are dangerous. Perhaps that is the first place they would search for us._

She sighed. "Alright. Lead the way, flyboy."

* * *

 _I'm starting to regret this._ Bel thought. _Nothing but trees and shrubs and rocks and more trees._

Without a watch, or even a knowledge of how long a day lasted on the planet, Bel could only guess that they had been walking for close to three hours. Their journey had been a slow one what with the pilot thoroughly concussed and Bel on the brink of collapse.

The forests on Craas were thick with vegetation. Tall thin trees, their bark a deep shade of clay, dotted the ground at such close range, Bel and Poe had to weave between them like lines of thread. The soil below their feet was moist and almost as dark as the sands they had left behind. And although they had escaped the fog, clouds of humid air hung around them causing flecks moss to pool on the surface of the rocks and large tangled roots that covered the forest floor.

"Are you sure about this Dameron?" Bel called from several steps behind him. Now they were journeying upwards, scaling a small hill adorned flowerless sage colored bushes.

 _I can't take much more of this._ She thought, nearly gasping for air. _I need rest. I need to sleep._

"I'm sure." Poe said. He picked up his pace, reaching the top of the hill well before she did. With a hopeful eye, he scanned the forest floor below.

 _Nothing._ He thought. _Crap._

He had expected to see some sign of a settlement. Even though he knew town was much farther off, he had heard his friend Gareth talk of gatherers that lived in the forests by the sea. They made their living collecting the rare fungi that flourished in the moist air.

Bel arrived at the top and scanned the landscape herself.

"We're lost." She lamented aloud. "Hopelessly lost."

"We're not lost!" Poe said brightly. "We've just got a ways to go."

"Oh please Dameron." Bel lowered herself onto a rock nearby, hoping to catch her breath. She leaned her head against a neighboring tree. It was a mistake. Not sooner had she done it, did her eyes slip shut.

"You don't know where we are. I don't know where we are. We're…" She yawned, her whole body shuddering with the force of it. "...we're lost."

"Hey," Poe said, catching sight of something in the distance. "Red! I think I see a-Hey!"

He was too late. She was losing consciousness, leaning precariously against the tree trunk.

"Bel!" He called, shaking her shoulder.

"I'm just going to rest my eyes." She whispered between another chain of yawns. She couldn't resist the urge to sleep any longer. Her eyelids were too heavy. Her arms and legs and shoulders were too heavy. So heavy, she felt as though she could sink through the earth and into the soil below.

As her vision faded, darkness enveloped her senses. Even then, Bel could still make out his voice calling to her. But it was muffled and far away.

Too far away to matter.

* * *

This chapter is on the shorter side, but that's only because the next chapter is a big one. Be prepared for the full onslaught of Bel's past, her reasons for leaving, her connection to Kylo and some fun with Poe ;0)

As always thank you for reading, I'm loving this story and I am so appreciative for your readership and reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter was really a joy to write. I love writing both Poe and Kylo, they are almost complete opposites which makes it both a challenge and a whole lot of fun. Sorry for the delay with this chapter. I got caught up with my Winter Soldier fic, thanks to Civil War. If you like Marvel, you should take a look. ;0) As always, thanks for reading! (I guess I am glad I took so long because now I have Hux's actual first name! I was going to make it up...and I can't stand going against canon!)

* * *

 **Catalyst.**

 _Where am I?_

Bel's vision was blurred, distorted by liquid that had accumulated from her sudden and likely unplanned fall to sleep. She rose slowly, attempting to access her memory. But...nothing.

She had been roused by a sudden jolt of motion; the force of which had nearly knocked her from the bed. Or was it a bed? No, it didn't feel like a bed. At least it didn't feel like her bed. More like a cot.

She gripped the sides of it, trying to will away the spinning in her head.

 _The med bay_. She realized, surveying her surroundings. _But...something's not right._

She was the only occupant. Aside from the distant buzzing in her head all was quiet. Five other cots were laid out in the room. It couldn't be the med bay then.

 _I must be on a destroyer._ She thought, stretching her arms out to relieve the ache in her shoulders.

As the spinning began to subside, she could pick up on a faint, steady blip of light. Rubbing her eyes, she surveyed the room, searching for it's source. It was a door side intercom, but a much older model than she was used to seeing.

 _An old destroyer, then. But, why am I here?_ She thought, disgruntled. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to remember.

Another jolt rocked the ship, causing a rattle in her skull that sobered her hazy mind. She stood up, brushing at her clothes. She was clothed in one of her nicer uniforms. A sleek, black number that bore her rankings on the shoulder. Her cloak, crafted from thicker tweed fabrics meant to withstand colder climates, rested over her shoulders. No doubt she was on a call.

 _An important one...so why can't I remember?_

The door to the chamber slid open, revealing a slight young woman with a severe bob and dark eyes. It was Inej Vale, her second in command.

"Lieutenant Hux," She greeted with a curt nod.

"Officer Vale," Bel said, rising to her feet.

Bel had held the rank of lieutenant for several years. It was the highest class a medic in the First Order was capable of obtaining. With the title came a clearance level few shared and a small tribe of dutiful subordinates that reported directly to her.

Inej was the youngest and most ambitious of the group. She had risen through the ranks quickly, surpassing her fellows with an intense blend of knowledge and determination.

 _And greed_. Bel thought, watching the girl carefully. The spry little officer had made it clear from the start that she had every intention of besting Bel and claiming her place at the top. And while other armies could find such selfish goals a liability, Snoke welcomed them. It was only one of many tactics the Supreme Leader used to ensure the men and women under him were truly of the best breeding and ability. Anyone who failed to maintain control over their underlings was not worth his time and were promptly disposed of.

Bel saw no reason to worry. She carried on unperturbed by her aide's machinations. Although her family line could perhaps be enough to secure her position, Bel relied solely on her abilities to prove her worth to the Supreme Leader. From the time of her mother's death she had studied her craft and continued to do so now even though she had reached the top of her ranks.

Inej was still young and reckless. She lacked the bedside manner needed to truly excel at her position. And Bel was a firm believer that such talents could not be learned. She often wondered why Inej had chosen to pursue the field at all.

"We have arrived." Inej reported.

"Arrived where exactly?" Bel asked with a yawn. She could have contained it, but she knew it would agitate Inej.

"Yasutra ma'am." Inej responded, miffed.

"Yes, that's right." Bel said. Her memories were beginning to return. They had been called out to attend to injured troops. No other details had been provided to them.

"And Officer Kolbek?"

"She's with Captain Phasma, ma'am. Only six dozen men and women are accounted for at this stage."

Bel lowered her hands slowly. Inej's words hit her like a blow from a blaster. How many people were stationed at the starkiller base? 5,000? 10,000? She wasn't sure. Too many. Too many were stationed. To lose any one man or woman was one too many.

She caught sight of her own reflection in the shiny coating of the sink. She looked like a ghost, her pale face made even more ashen by the devastating news.

 _It won't be the end of it either._ She thought. Snoke was likely incensed by the loss. Someone would pay dearly for such a massive failure.

Collecting herself, Bel stepped across the room and rolled up her sleeves. She removed her gloves and slid them into her pocket.

"How many injured?" She asked, turning the knobs of the faucet and gathering icy water into her hands.

"17 at this stage, ma'am. Only two are in critical condition."

Bel concentrated on doing up her hair as Inej continued her report. As she spoke, Bel collected the most important bits of information in her head.

"And what about-"

"He's injured ma'am. Badly," Inej said, knowing the question before Bel could finish.

Bel turned, surprised. "Injured? How is that-"

"I don't know, ma'am. He...won't let anyone evaluate him." Inej said. "But...there are rumors."

Bel sighed. Of course there were rumors. The First Order was successful thanks in part to its unprecedented efficiency. Soldiers were trained to be swift and precise. Entire planets could be upended in a single day. Weapons of shocking size and strength were erected with astonishing speed. It was both a blessing and a curse that news was able to travel so quickly amongst the officers, troopers and underlings.

"He was defeated in battle..." Inej leaned in, her animosity towards Bel momentarily forgotten. She spoke in a hushed whisper as though she was afraid _he_ would overhear.

"...By a _jedi_."

Bel felt the lump in her throat expand; she tried to swallow it down. If such a rumor were true…

 _Not good_. She thought.

She removed her coat, letting it fall on the cot and made her way to the door. Her head was still spinning, but the pain was now forgotten.

"Let's go."

* * *

After exiting the destroyer, Bel and her second searched the underground facility for their other companion, Amaris Kolbek. It didn't take long. It was always easy to spot the towering, splendorous form of Captain Phasma. Although she looked a little worse for the wear. There were chinks in her usually pristine armor and she was covered in splotches that looked like grime.

Amaris stood next to her, vigorously typing notes into a small recorder. She was a lanky girl, with clear olive skin and thin, sandy hair. She was fairly new to the team, but she was intuitive and maintained a quiet grace that calmed even the most raucous of patients. Bel much preferred her company on difficult missions to that of Inej's.

"Well? What's the damage?" Bel asked, accepting the recorder from Amaris.

"Minor injuries mostly." Amaris reported. "It's the shock that worries me."

Bel blinked trying to identify the meanings of the words on the screen. Though adrenaline had started to kick in, she could still feel sleep clinging to her shoulders and trying to drag her down.

"And my brother?" She asked, scanning the names on the scrolling chart.

"He's…" Amaris started, stumbling. "Well, he's not injured ma'am. But he's not…"

"Not handling it well?" Bel offered with an encouraging smile.

Amaris tried to contain a grin of her own. "No, ma'am."

Inej stood close by, glowering. While Amaris' nerves were usually soothed by Bel's small attempts at humor, Inej was only incensed.

"Our orders, lieutenant?" She snapped impatiently.

"Where are the injured located?" Bel asked, passing the reader back to Amaris.

"In the old barracks, ma'am" Amaris said, she turned and began to lead the way down a rocky stairway carved into the planet.

"We thought it best considering-"

Another jolt rocked the planet, this one stronger than the others. The three women lost their balance and would've fallen to the ground had the hallway been any less narrow. Bel's shoulder rammed against the wall and Inej nearly toppled over Amaris.

"Considering...that." Amaris finished, adjusting her coat.

"And what exactly is that?" Bel asked, more annoyed than anything.

"The planet is in rupture, ma'am" Amaris explained. "The quakes are expected to continue throughout the night."

"When will we depart?" Bel asked. She wanted to get off the planet and back to base as soon as possible. These were hardly manageable conditions.

"The Exalt sustained damage in transit due to debri from the base implosion," Amaris explained. "Word is it will won't be prepared for flight for at least 20 hours."

"Of course," Bel said flippantly.

The barracks were located down several flights of stairs that had been carved deep into the rock. As the descended the stale air grew colder and Bel regretted leaving her coat behind. With such a small crew dispatched to assist the survivors the trio met no other beings on their trek downwards.

"Is Captain Phasma in need of medical assistance?" Bel asked when they reached the last step.

"Not at this time," Amaris answered. "She implored us to attend to her wounded men first. She is content to supervise the repairs."

"And Ren?" Bel asked. "Where is-"

Her question was answered before she could complete it. They rounded the corner, only to see a trooper fly through the farthest door at the halls end and slam headfirst into the wall. He crumpled to the floor and lay still.

"...He." Bel finished.

"I've been told he's...uh," Amaris started. "In quite a state."

As if in concurrence, a second trooper sans helmet fled from the room followed by a cry of rage so loud that he felt the need to cover his ears. He pushed passed them and up the stairs, panting heavily as he fled.

The three women stared agog, waiting to see if the unfortunate trooper would wake. After a beat, Bel shook her head and stepped forward and started down the hall.

"Ah, ma'am, should we accompany you?"

Bel looked over her shoulder. It was Inej who asked. A lesser officer would mistake her eagerness for bravery. But Bel knew better. Inej was just as hesitant as Amaris who remained still and silent and kept her eyes trained on the unconscious trooper.

"No." Bel said. "I will-"

"But ma'am he's-"

"Officer Kolbek, see to my brother. Officer Vale, if there are any psytechs among the wounded, tend to them first. My brother will want full reports on the surviving men as soon as possible. Understood?" Bel ordered.

It wasn't often that Bel cared to give orders with such gravitas. She only ever felt the need when her brother or a higher officer was within earshot. Or when Inej was acting particularly unctuous.

 _She really does pull on my nerves._

Amaris nodded and hurried away. Inej stood her ground, fixing her superior with a familiar glare.

"What is it, Vale?" Bel challenged, looking down on the girl with a mixture of amusement and derision. "Were my orders unclear?"

Inej huffed. "...No ma'am."

"Then get going." Bel said, waving her hand dismissively.

Without a word, Inej turned at started down the hallway.

"I can handle Ren," Bel said, turning her attention back to the last door.

* * *

Before Bel stepped into the barrack, she could hear him raging. He was gasping for air, each breath coming and going in rapid succession. It was likely he was in the throes of another attack. Nevertheless, Bel entered the room without hesitation and, with the press of a single button, locked herself inside.

She learned long ago, that fear was useless when in the presence of Kylo Ren. He despised it and believed any soul that dared to give it credence was weak and unworthy of his time. It was a lesson Bel had learned at their very first meeting and in the seven years she had been assigned to the Knights of Ren she had learned more about the fallen Skywalker than any other medic on staff.

She approached him slowly, careful not to reveal her presence. Though she could see no signs of injuries being that he was still draped in heavy fabrics, the smell of blood was unmistakable. A quick scan of the cabin, yielded nothing that could help her. The only thing worthy of being noted was his mask.

 _I don't see it_ , Bel thought, her brow furrowed. She rarely saw him without it. Her apprehension grew. _No matter, there's a job that needs to be done._

Reaching out, she placed a hand on his shoulder, her touch lighter than air. Kylo roared and turned swiftly. Although she had been expecting it, she wasn't able to move quickly enough. His hand caught her shoulder and forced her back to the wall. Her eyes went wide as a sharp pain radiated down her arm, but she swallowed a cry of protest.

"I said-"

He froze, clearly expecting another trooper or unknown officer. It took him a moment to register who she was.

Bel had to fight to contain her astonishment. Several months had passed since their last meeting. He had been strong then, terrifyingly so. Even compared to his knights. It was foolish to think that nothing could bring him down, but to stand in his presence...it was hard to imagine a person capable of besting him. After one final physical, he was sent off to destroy any last remnant of the jedi culture. That had been almost eight months ago. The man standing before her now was so completely different, she couldn't believe it.

 _They said he was injured...but this?_

A blistering scar stretched from his temple, between his eyes and down to his jaw. The skin was already cauterizing. And the cut was not deep. It could only be the result of one thing.

 _A saber._ Bel thought grimly. _So the rumors are true._

"You?" He spat disdainfully, surprise plainly visible on his marred face. He released her and stepped away; the tension in his shoulders returned. He was aching to pace, she could tell. It was a calming tactic. Something she had suggested to him upon their very first meeting nearly a decade ago. But the room was far too small.

"I didn't call for you." He said gruffly, refusing to look at her.

"I was sent here." Bel said smoothly, unperturbed by his malice. She set down the travel bag that Amaris had brought for her and opened it. Behind her, thanks to the cramped quarters, she could sense that he was in motion again. She turned a saw he was making for the door.

"Stop." She reached out and grabbed his arm. It took all the strength she had to hold him back.

"There's no time-" He started, shaking loose of her grip.

"You're injured, Kylo." She countered evenly, following him to the door. "And I-"

Bel stopped as a wave of searing heat punctured her skull like a shard of glass. The initial sting faded quickly, but in its wake came paralyzing warmth that left her mind feeling foggy and full. Blue eyes blazing, she fixed Kylo with a venomous glare.

"Don't you dare." She hissed.

Bel was no stranger to the influence of the force at the hand of Kylo Ren. He had punctured her mind the very first day they met; an attempt to size her up and intimidate her in one fell swoop. Back then, however, he was still young and his control over the force was dubious at best. It didn't take long for Snoke to mold him into a more advanced user and he soon became more dangerous than any other force user in the First Order.

Foreseeing trouble even then, Bel had worked endlessly to gain his trust and soon she was able to procure a tenuous agreement regarding the use of his powers in her presence. Since then, she knew only of three times he had been tempted to break it.

 _For now._ Bel thought; standing her ground.

He opened his mouth, but seemed unable to articulate whatever order he thought would send her running. He was panting again, his face and hands were slick with sweat. It was almost frightening to see him in a state of physical pain. Whoever had managed it was a fearsome enemy indeed.

Bel's gaze softened. _I should know better than to answer his anger with my own. He's been beaten in battle. I should count myself lucky that I'm not in pieces._

She lifted a delicate hand and gently ran her index and middle fingers over the scarred skin at the bridge of his nose.

"Will you let me?" She asked, lightly this time. Years at his side has served her well. She understood his antics better than the other medics. If he believed he was the one with the power, the one in control, he would relent.

He flinched at her touch but, with only the smallest of hesitations, he released his hold on her mind. The heat pressing into her brain vanished and Bel was finally able to exhale.

"Please," She said, returning to her pack. "Sit."

When she turned again, she was relieved to see that he was complying. She took careful note of the request. With Kylo, she could only get away with so many commands. If she wasn't careful, he would grow impatient and she would lose him again.

"Give me your hand." She said. His entire body radiated with irate energy. When she wasn't frightened by his outbursts, she was amused at how childish he still was. _After all these years…_

It was Snoke's doing of course. Bel had watched the Supreme Leader challenge and manipulate him for years. And though Kylo had become stronger and more focused since joining the First Order, there was still work to be done. And his emotional growth had been lost in his all consuming force training.

 _And yet he's more than grown_. She thought, taking his large hand in both of hers. She turned it over so his palm was facing the ceiling. First, she took his pulse; pressing her thumb against his wrist and carefully counting out the seconds. Even though she had a wealth of technology at her beck and call, she preferred to do some things on her own. A habit that infuriated her brother.

"I won't ask you to tell me what happened. It's no business of mine," She said in a voice just above a whisper. As she spoke, she pressed her thumb into the center of his palm and then began to run it in achingly slow circles. Another calming technique, one of her own design. "It will be a while before we leave…"

His eyes were trained on the floor, a deep frown etched on his face. After a time, his breathing grew steady.

"I do need to remove your coat." She said, finally.

He didn't speak, only nodded his approval.

 _No doubt, he's ashamed._ Bel thought, releasing his hand. _I can only imagine what the Supreme Leader will say._

With careful hands, she undid his coat. Her movements were slow and purposeful so as not to upset or surprise him. Gently, she guided him down on to the table.

The last layer was the most difficult to remove. As she pulled it back blood, hot and sticky, clung to both the fabric and his skin. The wound at his side was gaping. Had his clothes not been so tightly bound, he would've bled out in travel.

 _It's the result of something heavier than a blaster._ She thought, inspecting it first with her eyes only. She lowered herself down onto a small stool, so she could better assess the damage done. With practiced tenderness, she touched her fingers to the wound, tracing the lines of the abrasion with a cleaning tonic.

 _They were right to send me in. A laceration like this could be easily infected. But...this bruising. Even with a high caliber weapon there shouldn't be-_

"Kylo," She said, sighing heavily. "We talked about this."

He said nothing, offered no excuse or explanation, knowing she would catch him in a lie.

 _He's self-inflicting again._ She thought, running her bloodied hands under water from the sink. Once they were clean, she grabbed a small towel from the bag and dampened it.

"Why did you do it?" Bel asked, fixing him with a chastising gaze. She began to clean the skin around the wound, careful not to place too much pressure on the bruised areas.

He didn't answer; didn't even budge under her discerning eye.

 _They've kept him away too long._ She thought. It had been years since she had first discovered the habit. It had horrified her then. But now, after so many failed attempts to stop him from doing it...she was less than surprised. The Supreme Leader didn't direct him to do it, but he didn't condemn it either. Bel rubbed at her eyes with her clean hand.

 _Anything I could say now, I've said before._ She thought. _Time and time again._

"You'll need stitching." She explained, opting to save that discussion for another day. "It will take some time. If you want to meditate-"

And just like that, he drifted away into the subspace of his mind. His eyes slipped shut and his breathing became even and slow. It was a display that both fascinated and frightened Bel all at once. Even in the face of an almost complete lack of self control, Kylo had somehow been able to master the art of force meditation. He could slip away into his own mind whenever he pleased. Bel was envious of such a talent and she couldn't help but marvel at him every time he did it.

 _If only I could do it. Get some damn rest for once._ She thought, returning to her bag to collect the various tools she would need.

She worked in silence for close to two hours. Her fingers moved deftly across his skin as she repaired the damaged flesh. Every so often, her eyes would flicker to his face to see that he was still in a state of rest. She preferred to work this way. Were he awake, he would observe every move she made. His dark eyes, so fiery and demanding, always kept her on edge. This way, she was able to work in peace.

When she finished, she pushed the stool away and sighed. She rolled her neck back to ease the growing tension and slipped her now dirty instruments into the sink.

After washing her hands once more, she rubbed at her temples. Now that her work was done, the temptation to sleep had returned. She covered her mouth as she yawned.

She lowered herself back onto the stool, thinking she could take a quick nap before he woke. But as she raised her head, she saw he was already awake. Watching her with those cold, dark eyes.

"Oh," She jumped, straightening her posture. "You're awake."

She hoped she sounded more cheery than she felt.

"Yes." he grumbled.

"How do you feel?" She asked, tentatively.

"Stiff." He responded, slowly pulling himself up into a sitting position.

Bel couldn't help but wonder at what happened. It did take much to anger the Master Knight, but usually his outbursts were fleeting. No doubt he felt the pain of wounded pride more than that of his many lacerations.

"Yes, you will for a few days." She answered, careful not to make eye contact and rile him further. She watched as he righted himself, trying in vain to keep the grimace of discomfort off his face. No doubt he could clearly feel the tug and pull of the stitches.

"Any lingering pain?" Bel asked.

"No." He said, searching the cabin for his coat. His movements were calculated and slow. Entirely out of character.

 _Liar,_ Bel thought. But she knew better than to call him on it.

She stood and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "You need to rest."

"I need to go after-"

"You need to rest. The order came from the Unknowns." Bel said. It was a lie. Had another officer overheard they would balk at such a foolish endeavour. Lying to Kylo Ren was a well known danger, one that could bring about the end of an officer's life. Bel, however, had years of practice. She knew the best lies were disguised in small truths. Orders from Snoke were a daily, sometimes even hourly, occurrence. And Kylo never stooped to question them.

"I'll be able to remove the stitches in...72 hours." She said, folding up her bag. "So I'll stay near until then. You're going to have to be careful, Kylo, if they break I'll just have to do them up again and that means more time spent-"

"Sera," He said.

Bel froze. She couldn't remember the last time he addressed her by the shortened, more familiar version on her name. _Not since I graduated from the academy, I think._

She turned to face him.

"Thank you." He said, ducking his head.

Bel nodded, gobsmacked by such a direct attempt at appreciation. If Snoke had heard him, he would likely be chastised. "I-of course. It is my duty."

"There's something you should know." He said, closing the space between them. Bel tipped her chin up to meet his gaze.

"Y-Yes?" She didn't like this. Whatever it was.

"The Supreme Leader has tasked me...and me alone, to locate the last of the jedi. Even without the map, we are closer than ever before." He explained. Bel tried to fend off the sense of dread that was percolating in her belly like a dead weight.

 _This has nothing to do with me._ She thought. _Why is he telling me all this?_

"Wherever my mission will take me," He continued, reaching for her hand. "You will accompany me...as my wife."

Bel paled. "W-what?"

She regretted it immediately. An adverse response, no matter the subject, was dangerous in the presence of Kylo. Mercifully, he didn't seem at all rattled. Just distracted.

"I don't...know that The Supreme Leader-" Bel started, her mind racing for an answer that wouldn't reveal the disgust that was churning in her gut. She had no desire to be married to anyone. Not with the First Order. It was just another commander to follow. Another badge to wear. Another connection to ensure safety and power within the Order. Another woman may have jumped at the idea, but Bel knew Kylo. What he was and was not capable of.

"He has approved already." Kylo said.

"And," Bel said, ears ringing. "This is...you want this?"

Kylo didn't respond immediately. In all the time that she had known him, Bel never imagined he would pursue a relationship. Such a venture was discouraged by the high officers of the First Order. Unless of course the match had the potential to advance their cause. Her own parents had been granted a marriage bond solely on their shared intellect and cunning...and the promise that their offspring would possess similar minds.

Bel shivered. Was that was this was about? Potential offspring?

 _No,_ Bel thought, too eager to reject the very idea. _He only cares about the force. Eradicating the Light and furthering the Dark. Everything else, even his own health comes secondary to that. There's no way-He doesn't want this. He couldn't possibly._ Bel thought. _Or at least, he doesn't know if he wants this. Of course he doesn't. He's never even considered the idea. So then...how did this even come about? Snoke wouldn't-_

"It is the will of the Supreme Leader, Serana." He said at last, using her full name this time to capture her attention. "After your brother offered-"

Bel inhaled sharply and stepped back. _**Armitage is behind this!?**_ _I should've known. Dammit. That scheming, conniving little-_

"Sera?" He called.

"Yes?" She stuttered, realizing far too late that she hadn't been listening to him. "I'm sorry I didn't-I mean-"

Bel took a breath to collect herself. She didn't want to offend him or rile him up. _But what can I say?!_

"You should rest." She said, "The wounds will heal faster. I'll go."

She turned to leave, her hand slipping from his, but he caught her wrist. He took another step forward and his chest hit her back. Bel's pale skin went flush and she could feel his breath on her neck. His hands, so large and so cold, gently gripped her shoulders.

"Sera." He said, using her full name this time. "This is for the best. If I am to complete my mission and eradicate the jedi. I need you with me…"

 _As a medic._ Bel pleaded in her head. _That's all he means, or wants it to mean...I hope._

"...You're to be mine."

* * *

Bel woke violently, her body quaking in the cold as a scream threatened to spill from her mouth. She swallowed it down, fearful of what it might bring. Her head dropped into her hands and she rubbed at her tired eyes.

 _That...happened. I know it happened. It wasn't a dream. But then-_

As her eyes struggled to adjust, all she could confirm was that she was in a cold, dark place.

 _Yasutra_. She thought, her throat closing up. _Am I still in the bunker?_

Was her escape nothing but a dream? The brazen idiot pilot, the pursuing troopers, the ocean crash, the black sand, was it all a fleeting respite from the truth?

 _No it can't be. It all felt so real._ If she thought back, the memory of the crashing ocean waves was strong. Too strong to be a dream. She clutched her right shoulder, remembering. Her right sleeve was indeed torn straight to her shoulder and her skin was still slightly swelled from the bruising.

 _And my coats gone_. She thought. _At the bottom of the sea, no doubt._

Even though she could begin to relax, she felt frozen over. As if the icy black waters still clung to her skin. But it wasn't water that chilled her through to the bone. It was sweat; she was covered in perspiration turned icy by a breeze that filtered in from above.

 _Breeze?_ She thought, now more confused than ever. She looked up.

There was hole in the ceiling. A small, thin cut of fabric meant to cover it up had fallen through. Its hem was caught on one of the fractured exposed beams. It swayed slowly back and forth several feet above her head.

The sky above was dotted with stars, but they were barely visible in the soft azure light. Morning was on the way, but it would be a few hours before it was fully realized.

Bel observed her surroundings quietly, as though even the slightest motion or sound on her part would disturb the peace. Slowly, her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She had never seen a place like this before. It was frozen in time, showing signs of age and dilapidation instead of occupation. The shelter was constructed of entirely organic materials: wood and brick and mud.

Long ago, this must have been someone's home. A lone, silent outpost hidden in the depths of the mountainous forest. Across the room, she could make out a large square window, constructed above what looked like a sink and shelving unit. In the haze of the early twilit sky, she could could lines of trees. On the wall adjacent to the bed sat a clay fireplace brimming with soot and debris.

Her observations were interrupted by a loud growl. At least that was what it sounded like. Her surprise nearly knocked her from the bed as a frightened "eep" escaped her lips. She searched frantically for the source of the noise.

 _Dameron?!_ She realized, flushing at her own cowardice. Sure enough, splayed out on the other side of the bed was the very same idiot pilot. Lost completely to a deep sleep; a tattered sheet covering him.

Scoffing, Bel carefully pulled it off of him and wrapped it around her quaking shoulders. She lowered herself back down to the bed, eyeing him carefully as she did so. He didn't stir, even as the old bed creaked loudly under her shifting weight.

She turned onto her side, inspecting the wrappings around his head. _At least he wasn't foolish enough to try and remove them._

Deciding there was nothing she could do until he was awake, she turned her attention back to the hole in the ceiling.

 _The stars are beautiful._ She thought, trying to remember a time when she had such a vantage point. As a medic, she spent most of her time indoors or traveling through space. Locked away in a world of black metals, searing red lights and rock. She had traveled so far in her short lifetime and yet she had seen so little of the galaxy. She was born on Arkanis; a dreary, rain-soaked planet whose skies were almost always hidden from sight behind sheets of tempestuous storm clouds. And, after the fall of the Empire, her family fled to Yasutra. She could remember a time when the Nonayasu Mountains were streaked with green grasses and wildflowers. Now it was a monotonous hunk of rock. Cold and desolate. Lifeless. All thanks to the First Order.

She glared, angered by the thought of them. Her own people. The destruction they had willingly - _knowingly_ \- caused. At the soulless, all consuming control they held over their soldiers, their engineers...

 _Everyone._ She thought.

She craned her neck and regarded the sleeping pilot once more. He anger dissipated.

 _I am a coward._ She thought, unease stirring in her empty belly. _While he barrels into danger for the sake of the resistance...I run. For nothing but selfish freedom._

She shivered as flashes of the dream accosted her again. Of the life that awaited her if she were to return. Already she was controlled by the will of the Supreme Leader, but to be forever tied to another...without her consent, without even questioning her first…

 _I don't regret it._ She thought, her blood boiling at the thought of what her brother had done. _All to save his own skin. I can't go back to that place._

As sleep began to envelope her once more, she repeated the mantra over and over again.

 _I want to be free. I_ _ **will**_ _be free._

* * *

Whew! This was a long and important chapter for me. I used way too many ellipses this time around. . I hope you enjoyed it! I would love a review. Thank you as always for reading :0)


	6. Chapter 6

Well, the only thing predictable about life is it's unpredictability. I was going to save up writing and post chapters much later, but I needed catharsis during this terrible, terrible week. I hope that an update will offer a small distraction to those that are anxious and angry. It certainly helped me to write it.

* * *

 **Promises.**

When Bel woke again it was to series of tremors that rattled the bed. She cursed in a whisper, hoping against hope that she hadn't been plunged into another dream. She needed rest and more memories would not allow for it.

Her head felt as though it had been stuffed with cotton and her vision was blurred, but this time she adjusted quickly. Thankfully, the dilapidated cabin was all she could see. It's stillness was more eerie than it was comforting. Fortunately, she couldn't recall a single dream this time. Just a blackness so cool and lifeless that she already craved to return.

The light had changed, but it was still fairly dark. And the room still looked untouched by all but time. Whoever this place belonged to, it seemed as though they had long ago abandoned it. Bel wasn't sure if that was a spot of luck or another setback.

Rubbing at her temples, she looked to see if the pilot was still close.

"Oh no," She said aloud as any last remnant of sleep fell away.

Surely enough, he was still there, but he was fitting; as if in the throes of some terrible seizure. Leaping from the bed, Bel circled around and feel to her knees by his side. Her head spun, but she focused her attentions on him. She pressed a hand to his forehead.

 _Hot,_ she noted. _Over 100 certainly._

With no tools or tech, Bel wasn't sure what she could do.

She took his hand, his flesh rippled against hers and he was slick with sweat.

"Poe." She called. "Are you awake?"

He didn't respond.

"Damn it." She said, standing. A quick survey of the house revealed nothing that could help her. She crossed the room, kicking up dust and rubble as she went. Turning a corner so located a small kitchen area with a ash-ridden fire pit and what looked like a sink. She grabbed at the faucet and pulled but nothing happened. She tried the second one, only to be doubly disappointed.

"Not even a drop," She whispered aloud.

 _If someone built a home here...there must be water or food close by._

A small set of clay bowls caught her eye. She grabbed at the largest and shook the dust and cobwebs from it. Gingerly, she stepped up the single step that led to the front door. It was smaller than she expected, and she had to duck down to clear the landing.

The outpost - or cabin, or whatever it was - sat atop a sloping hill. There was little respite from the deafening silence outside. Aside from the house and a thicket of trees some fifty feet away, the land seemed barren. Behind the house, stood a cliff that barrelled down into more thick foliage. Even from such a height, she couldn't make out a single sign of human life. Unperturbed, she began to trek slowly down the hillside.

If she had to guess, it was evening now. The cool blue skies she had woken up to before had been replaced by a lavender ombre. Cumulus clouds, tinted yellow by a setting sun she could not see, dotted the vast horizon. They were so large and so thick, Bel felt dwarfed by their presence. They moved with the same lethargy that plagued her mind and body; slinking by so slowly she had to wonder if they were really moving at all. With no knowledge of the planet, she couldn't be sure what season she was currently experiencing. But the chill that overtook the hillside with the vanishing of the sun made her guess it had to be early spring or late fall. The trees surrounding the cabin's clearing were all of the conifer family by the looks of them and the grass on the forest floor was either dead or in the process of drying out.

Closing her eyes, she listened for the sound of water. All she could make out was a gentle breeze that snaked between the trees, rustling branches and deftly touching her skin as it traversed the hillside. A whisper; drawing out her uncertainty and causing her gut to flip over.

 _It is beautiful here_. Bel thought, trying to remember a time she had seen such a forest before. She could not think of one. Normally her assignments came long into a planet's harvesting process. Whenever her team touched foot on new terrain, it was already cleared of foliage and any life that had once inhabited the planet had been collected or destroyed.

Pressing on, she touched her hand to a tree. It's bark was rough against her palm. She lifted her hand and touched it to her lips; the smell of it was pungent and raw. Guilt, toxic and heady, flowed through her. How long had she stood by, passive to the ruin of worlds? Even if nothing could be done, why did she not feel pain or sorrow at the sight of it? It was a sobering thought, one that left her hollow.

With every tenth step, she looked over her shoulder to ensure that the cabin stayed in her sight line. The last thing she needed to do was wind up lost and alone.

 _Was it because I never truly saw it?_ She thought. _Only the aftermath...If I had, would it be any different?_

Bel couldn't be sure. She could only hope that, had she chosen another field, she would've had the strength and foresight to know what was wrong.

With no signs of water, or even of something edible, her thoughts strayed back to the pilot.

 _What could have caused it? There shouldn't be any infection. I cleaned the wound thoroughly on the beach. And the concussion was mild at best. No doubt he's used to getting them, flying all over the galaxy, barrelling into-_

She stopped walking; stilled by a chilling thought.

 _Bloodburn_. She realized, swallowing a large lump in her throat. _If he truly is their best pilot. It could very well be-_

She was pulled from her thoughts, by a strange, haunting cry. A bird most likely. Startled, she clung to a tree for support.

 _This is bad_. Another set back, but this was likely the worst of the lot.

Even if she was right, there was still hope for the pilot. The symptoms she recognized were minimal. He was a young man, after all. But if he continued to fly on high stress missions…

Bel returned her attention to the search.

 _I'm not really sure what to be looking for_. She lamented. Her life had not been long, but she could hardly remember spending more than a month or two out of doors. Not since her days in training which were some many years ago. The First Order had little patience for natural medicines. They were impractical, costly and inefficient.

With nothing to distract her, Bel was helpless to ignore the thoughts that flooded her head. Her dreams, the memories of moments she only just lived through, were relentless.

 _ **"...You must be out of your mind, if you think I'm going to-"**_

 _ **"Don't be a fool, Serana. If we align our family stock with his-"**_

 _ **"Please! This isn't about that, Armitage. You're using me as a bargaining chip to protect yourself."**_

 _ **"And if I am? Snoke will have my head, Serana. Such a failure hasn't been seen since the days of the Empire. I had no choice but to fortify my place in the ranks. As my sister you-**_

 _ **"You think I care about your rank!? You dug your own grave and now you expect me to lie in it!"**_

Her thoughts were interrupted by a squelching sound beneath her boot. She looked down.

 _Water!_ A small stream, so narrow and thin it hardly made a sound, stretching out before her. Ducking down to her knees, she carefully dipped the bowl into it and waited impatiently for it to fill up. _Thank goodness._

Weaving through the trees, she held the bowl tight to her chest and made her way back up the hill. She was tempted to drink it up herself, but her desire was negated by the needs of the pilot. She could always go back later.

The sky was darker now, soon to the sun would disappear below the horizon and night would come. Bel stepped into the house and breathed a sigh of relief. He was still sleeping soundly now; his chest rose and fell without quaking.

Stepping over pieces of debris she lowered herself on to the bed again. _I shouldn't wake him. He needs all the rest he can manage._

She looked down at her hands still clutching the bowl, so pale and white against the comely moonlight. She sighed heavily, once again at the mercy of her thoughts.

Her whole life had been nothing but a series of upwardly steps. A constant climb up a ladder she had no desire to scale. But she had scaled it nonetheless. Doing so had allowed her more freedom than most. Those would failed to climb, or plateaued, were quickly erased. She had worked hard to guarantee herself a life that was her own; one where she was allowed to make her own choices. She refused to disappear into the cogs of the Order. Maintaining a higher rank was the only way to maintain identity. She vowed to be a woman of worth. Years of study and laboring, patience and practice, all of it obliterated by her conniving bastard of a brother.

 _ **"You have a duty to this family, Serana."**_

 _ **"This family," Bel spat. "Is nothing but you and I, Armitage. If father were still alive...if he had witnessed this explosive failure, he'd rather watch you burn."**_

 _ **Her brother, five years her senior, clutched at her collar and pulled her close. The molten rage in his eyes would bring nothing short of terror to a lesser officer. But Bel was no lesser officer and she had long abandoned the fear and respect he had attempted to instill in her since her birth.**_

 _ **"You would dare to-" He started, all spitfire and hubris.**_

 _ **Bel shook free of his grasp and pushed him away, knowing all too well he hadn't a sliver of physical durability in him. She was angrier than she had ever been before. And now that she had a taste for it, she wanted to touch him again. Lay into him with blow after blow until he was a puddly wreck on the floor.**_

 _ **"You speak of loyalties, yet you would surrender what little freedom I have to save your own sorry hide."**_

 _ **"Freedom?" Armitage repeated, disgusted. "You always were a fool Serana, if the Supreme Leader heard such talk you would be banished to the deepest realm of the Unknown."**_

 _ **"It would be preferable to this." Bel seethed, unperturbed by his thinly veiled threat. "You think I'm one of your troopers? Someone you can mold and manipulate? I'd rather die."**_

 _ **Her brother sneered, his anger forgotten. "The decision has been made, sister. Not even you would dare to deny the will of Ren and his master."**_

 _ **Bel felt her veins go cold...then erupt in a wave of heat. She may not fear the wrath of her brother, but the wrath of Ren was a very different beast. No doubt Armitage had planned for such a trade since she had been, at the request of Kylo himself, assigned as medic to the Knights two years back. He had played his hand well.**_

 _ **Helplessness swept in, seeping through her veins like a poison. If she protested she would be severely reprimanded. And Kylo...the trust she had built up would be gone and the added protection that came with it would cease to exist.**_

 _ **Bel stepped closer and grabbed the collar of his coat. Careening forward, she plowed him into the wall. His nostrils flared; he looked like a rodent caught in a trap. She fixed her brother with glare so hot it could melt glaciers.**_

 _ **"You will regret this, Armitage." She fumed. "I promise you that."**_

Bel's focus returned to her hands. She could still feel the itch of her brothers coat against her skin. The anger she had felt then returned, boiling her blood and causing her flesh to ignite in a wave of shivers.

Was this the extent of her rebellion? To run away? Her face went flush, humiliated by her childish play at revenge. Her brother would be disgraced surely, but was it enough?

 _I'm not so sure._

"Hey, Red."

Bel looked up, startled by the voice.

The pilot was awake.

She stood up too swiftly and almost lost her grip on the bowl. "How do you feel?"

"Like I was run over." He said with a chuckle that turned quickly into a cough.

Bel shook her head and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "You should sit up."

If he were a patient, she would help him adjust. But he seemed to manage fine on his own. And she had the distinct feeling that he wouldn't take well to being cared for by someone of her background. Once he was upright she held out the bowl.

"Drink this." She ordered. "All of it."

He hesitated a moment, inspecting the bowl's contents with bloodshot eyes.

"It's just water." She snapped, a little miffed that was still weary of her motivations. "You're extremely dehydrated."

He listened this time, tipping the bowl back and gulping down the water. Satisfied, Bel crossed her arms over her chest and looked around the room again.

"You okay?"

She looked down, hoping she was able to affix her face with a more relaxed look.

"You look like you're about to keel over." Poe said with a lopsided grin. It was a poor attempt to seem okay and Bel certainly couldn't let it slide.

"As opposed to you?" She responded snippedly. "...Who already has?"

Poe chuckled again, though this time it was more labored.

"What happened?" He asked.

"You were feverish." She answered. "And fitting."

Poe sighed heavily and Bel wondered if he was well aware of the danger he could potentially be facing.

"Has this happened before?" She asked, softly; not wanting to upset him.

He looked away, but didn't answer.

Bel shifted closer to him. "It may only be a reaction to the concussion. Are you in pain?"

"Nothing I can't handle." Poe said, shrugging. "I've got a thick skull."

Bel managed the smallest of thin lipped grins, if only for his benefit.

"Well, I've no doubt about that." She said.

"I'm fine." He said, "Really."

It was an obvious lie. Even a civilian with no medical experience would have seen through it. Blue eyes sparkling, Bel fixed him with an incredulous eye. But the pilot stood his ground.

"Alright then," She stood up, running a hand through her hair. "We can go. There's still light and you said it was a small planet. I'm sure we'll reach another life form in no time."

Poe grimaced, but gritted his teeth, slung his legs over the side of the bed and attempted to rise.

Bel, no stranger to men acting well beyond their physical means, sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You need rest." She said, softly this time. "If you don't, your symptoms will worsen over time. It's almost night, anyway."

Poe grumbled, but yielded to her firm hand. It didn't take very long for sleep to overtake him again.

* * *

"Time is not on our side." Hux snarled. He may as well have been shouting into a vast, empty plain of the galaxy. His fierce blue eyes, heavy from a lack of sleep, were fixated on Kylo Ren.

The other officers in the hull watched the exchange with weary eyes, their duties well and truly sidelined.

There wasn't a soul in the order that didn't know there was no love lost between the highly decorated general and the feared force warrior. Rage and envy radiated between them so strongly, it could be felt throughout the body of the ship. The only one who seemed immune to it was the distinguished Captain Phasma.

The general only became more incensed when Ren refused to dignify his worry with an answer. He stalked around Ren's towering, shrouded form, clenched his gloved fists behind his back and attempted to engage him once more.

"The Supreme Leader expects our presence within a fortnight." He started. "This ship is old, we're pressing what luck we have as it is. We should return at a later time-"

"By then they will be lost." Ren's odious baritone, marred by the imposing presence of his mask, permeated hull like a fog. His words were truncated, a sure sign that he was trying to reign in his anger.

"They were shot out of the sky!" Hux pressed, leaning in as closely as he dared. Another inch or two and he would be within grasping range of Ren's lengthy wingspan; a true fools error. "She could be dead already."

Almost instantly he regretted it. Ren did not move, but waves of force energy crackled in the air around him, causing the lesser officers to contemplate fleeing the room. The aging tech flickered, unable to withstand the pressure. Hux could do nothing but stand his ground as the surrounding air became hot and thick, threatening to choke the life from him. With aching slowness, Ren shifted his head to face the general. Hux stared into the dark, lifeless eyes of the false face, refusing to give in to intimidation tactics.

"You will find her." Ren demanded. "Or face the consequences."

Having said his piece, Kylo turned to leave.

Hux bristled and, giving in to his own anger, caught Ren's arm. He would not let Ren have the last word. Again.

"She's a deserter, Ren. I won't be able to protect her from our laws."

Ren wrested his arm away, unperturbed by the General's truly laughable attempt at a show of force. Hux may have held a genius intellect, but he was no match for the physical prowess years of training had afforded the Master Knight.

"We have an agreement, General," Ren snarled. "Her fate is no longer yours to dictate."

Hux watched him go, eyes narrowed. For years he had been forced to work within the demands of the force users. Feckless, lumbering soul searchers. It turned his stomach to think that someone with no understanding of strategy or structure was allowed to overrule him at will.

"Officer Darquin," Hux snapped shrilly, turning his attention back to his men.

"Sir!?" The junior officer yelped, visibly trembling.

"Send word through the usual channels. Set a reward. I want her found within the planet's cycle."

* * *

Morning came too quickly. Bel, being the first to wake, continued in her efforts to locate a food source. With nothing to be found, she returned within an hour, to find that Poe was awake again.

"This is a forager's hut." Poe explained. "This planet is known for Izaki Mushrooms, but the season is short. When the crop is gone, these homes are abandoned until the fall returns again."

"And this one?" Bel snapped. "It looks like it has been abandoned for years."

"It's likely that the lands in this section haven't been fruitful." Poe said. "They must've moved on."

"So what happens now?" Bel sighed, she traced the lines on her left palm with her index finger; another calming technique she relied on in such trying times.

She looked up and faced the pilot. "I mean...once you're rested."

"An old friend of my father's lives at the Southern port." Poe explained, "He's holding my ship. And my droid. Once we get back to town, we find him. BB-8 will relay a message to General Organa and she'll supply us with the rendezvous point."

"This is a small planet, yes?" Bel asked, "an Order squad will be waiting for us. I'm sure of it."

Poe offered what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "Once I'm in my own ship, they won't stand a chance."

"And...your contact?" Bel continued. "You're sure you can trust him?"

"I'd bet my life on it." Poe said, eyes darkening.

Bel cast her eyes to the floor. The pilot's assurance was catching, but the relentless nature of her past life, the only life she knew, kept her from fully imagining that she could ever truly be free. A small part of her hoped that her brother would let her go, that Ren would be too married to his cause to ever pursue her. It was all she had to hold onto.

"The First Order can be...persuasive." She finished lamely.

"I know." Poe said. He was reminded suddenly of Finn, of the fear in his eyes at their first meeting, the desperate hand that had held him as they plotted their insane escape, the happiness in his eyes upon their reunion. A free man. He had been a free man then. He recognized the same fear in Bel, though she fought hard to hide it from him.

Poe had experienced first hand the wrath of the Order. But he was only an outsider. No doubt they viewed him as a pawn of General Organa. He didn't want to imagine what would be done to traitors like Finn and Bel.

"I'll get you to safety, Bel." He said, "I promise."

They locked eyes again. Bel smiled, but there was little warmth in it. She had mastered, it seemed, the ability to keep her true feelings hidden. She turned away again, her face a mask of ice once more. Unreadable and distant.

"So what's the diagnosis?" He asked, hoping to distract her.

"One more day, I gather." She answered. "Two max. In the meantime you really should rest."

She stood up and took the bowl from his hand. "You must be thirsty."

Her joints were stiff and she wanted nothing more than to sleep herself, but if she didn't nurse the pilot to health as soon as possible, the more likely they were to run into trouble.

"Hey, red." Poe called.

Bel reached the open doorway before she turned. With the minimal light, it was hard to gage the expression on his face.

"You never answered my question." He said.

Bel furrowed her brow and cocked her head to the side. "What question?"

Poe shifted, the aging bed creaking loudly under his weight. "Are you okay?"

Bel wanted to lie, but she remembered the look on his face when she handed him the water. She didn't doubt his dedication to the mission. Whether he trusted her or not, he would do his duty by the Resistance. But if she was ever to make any headway in this new life, she would have to abandon her old ways, the ways of the First Order, one by one.

"No, I don't think I am," She said, speaking honestly. "But, I will be."

* * *

Thank you as always for reading. There are hard times ahead, but there are also thousands and Poe Dameron's out there who will do all that is necessary to pursue progress and freedom. And that is a comfort.


	7. Chapter 7

Someone pointed out that I have recurring 'theme' in all my stories, I'm rather fond of that theme and I enjoyed continuing it here. I hope you enjoy it too!

* * *

 **Exposed.**

"Once again, I must advise against this."

"And once again, noted."

As Bel fought to contain a grin, she planted her hands firmly on her hips and shook her head. The pilot was incorrigible. A large smile, somehow both roguish and innocent, was plastered on his face. She had only just returned from another attempt at scavenging; this time returning with a small collection of the mushrooms Poe had spoken of and another jug of water. The jug, a clay creation, had been easy to find once Bel had had the chance to root around the abandoned house in the light of day.

Poe had been anxious to assist her, but she was firm with him. He needed rest if they were ever going to make their way into port. At the time, she couldn't be sure whether his compliance was out of actual respect or an exhaustion he could no longer deny. She had been wrong on both counts.

Upon her return, she could hear the commotion before breaching the hilltop. Poe had pulled a chair out from the house as well as a small table and several dusty mugs. He was carefully arranging them as she approached.

"Are we dining outside tonight?" She had asked, sarcasm seeping from her words like a thick honey.

Poe turned and chuckled. "I was wondering when you were gonna lighten up."

Bel grimaced. He looked wretched; in need of a shave, a shower and an actual meal.

"You should be in bed. Resting."

"...and how long it would last." He continued. He mimicked the action of checking a watch he didn't have. "Congratulations are in order, that must be some kind of record."

Try as she might, Bel couldn't convince him to crawl back into bed. Even though he did seem more animated, he was still leagues away from the pilot she met on Yasutra. When he was finally done with his odd little display, Poe disappeared into the house once more.

"I'm serious, Dameron." Bel called after him.

He returned with two more mugs and set them on the table before relieving her of the heavy jug.

"You're one to talk, Red." He said, before tipping it back and swallowing several large gulps of water. Bel could see droplets of sweat collecting on his forehead and she resisted the urge to drag him kicking and screaming back into the house.

"It's Bel." She huffed.

"Yeah, about that…" Poe said, stepping up to the table. He set the jug down and cast a knowing look at her over his shoulder. "I'm not so sure it is."

Rather than protest it, which she knew would only encourage him, Bel sighed and plucked one of the mushrooms from her small spoil pile. It had a rich earthy taste that was almost too strong for her inexperienced palate, but it left her feeling full and energized.

"What is all this?" Bel asked between small bites. She was more curious than annoyed, though she chose her tone carefully to disguise it.

Poe grinned, clearly taking her evasion as confirmation.

 _Is there anything that_ doesn't _encourage him?_ Bel thought, already exasperated.

In lieu of words, Poe simply handed her an object. It was slim and silver in color, though the edges on the gears were beginning to show signs of rusting.

"A blaster?" Bel said, though it took her a moment to recognize what it was. The model was older than anything she had ever laid eyes on. A relic from another generation.

"I found it under the mattress." Poe said, beaming with the pride of a pup.

"And...what do you want me to do with it?" Bel asked, running her finger over the cool barrel.

Poe cocked his head to the side; as if the answer was obvious. "I'm going to teach you how to use it."

Bel looked up at him, her brow neatly furrowed. "I-you, you would trust me with a weapon?"

Poe's eyes darkened. "I think we're beyond all that now. Don't you agree?"

Bel felt her chest swell with an unfamiliar warmth. It turned her stomach, confounding her completely. Her eyes darted away from him as she tried to identify it. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, she nodded softly and mumbled, "I guess so."

The youthful exuberance returned to his face and he clapped her on the shoulder, causing her to nearly lose her grip on the weapon. As he passed her by and returned to his work at the table, he said, "That-a girl."

Bel opened her mouth to respond but found herself at a loss for a good, biting comeback. She turned around and joined him at the table; watching him adjust the last of the five mugs so that they sat in a somewhat neat line at the tables edge.

"You seem a good enough shot," she said, trying to sound amiable. "Is it really necessary I learn?"

Poe bristled at her choice of words. _Good enough._ He was better than good enough, especially compared to her.

"Look I don't know what's waiting for us when we reach the port. They could've shot that ship to bits before we ever reached the atmosphere, but they didn't. That means they want you back alive...for whatever reason." He trailed off, giving her chance to answer.

Bel just shrugged. _Nice try,_ She thought bitterly. _But I'll never tell you_ _ **that**_ _._

After a minute, he gave up waiting and continued. "But if we can get our hands on another blaster...well, two is better than one."

Bel looked at him blankly. She had never in her life held a weapon, let alone fired one. While the First Order had never bothered with an oath other than a constant pledge of loyalty, she had decided when entering her field that she would never allow herself to become the sort of physician that used knowledge and skill to cause harm. There was enough pain and suffering in the galaxy already. Poe must have seen the hesitation in her eyes.

"There's nothing to be afraid of." Poe tried again.

Now it was Bel's turn to bristle. Her blue eyes sparked indignantly. "I'm not afraid."

Realizing he had her, Poe grinned.

"There's no fault in it." He pressed. "Some people just aren't cut out for fighting."

Bel flushed. "Now hold on just a minute-"

"No, no," Poe chuckled, waving his hands. "I get it."

Scoffing, Bel pushed the blaster to his chest. "Just get on with it."

Poe adjusted the weapon in his hand, "C'mere."

Crossing her arms, Bel stepped forward. He walked her through the mechanics of the blaster, pointing out each piece and explaining its purpose. She listened intently, taking stock and memorizing each one just as she had the anatomy of the human body. In comparison, the blaster was simplistically designed and she only had one question for him once he was done.

"Now, most rookies forget the-"

"Safety?" Bel interrupted.

Poe shot her an incredulous look.

"Just a guess." She shrugged. The truth was that during her years of training, she had seen many a young trooper brought in with mild blaster wounds. A good deal of them the result of firing practice gone awry.

Poe shook his head and continued his lesson.

"You're going to want to hold it with both hands until you get used to the feel of it." He said, handing it to her.

Bel nodded.

He stepped behind her and placed one hand under her elbow, positioning her arm.

"Now if you-yeah, just like that."

Bel allowed him to adjust her stance, even if it meant he was practically breathing down her neck.

"Make sure your feet are planted." He continued. He leaned in further, his chin hovering over her shoulder. "And...take aim."

Not wanting to seem incompetent, Bel carefully eyed the mugs on the table and did what she could to steady her shaking arms. Once she was convinced her aim was true, she pulled the trigger and…

Missed.

And missed.

And missed.

She huffed loudly, tempted to fling the blaster at the damned mugs and shatter them all. It only incensed her more that Poe was clearly and unapologetically amused.

"You're concentrating too much." He said.

"What-" Bel sputtered. "How is _that_ possible?"

"Just relax," He said, his hand leaving her elbow and traveling up to her shoulder. "You're so tense."

Her gently cupped her shoulder one hand, the other hovered dangerously close to her waist. Bel could feel color draining into her cheeks and she was reminded suddenly how her last encounter with Kylo.

"Alright, alright," Bel said, shaking him off. "I just...need some space."

Flinging his hands up, Poe stepped away and fell into the chair by the table. The relief that flooded his features caught Bel's eye. She lowered the blaster.

"Tired?" She questioned, raising a single brow.

"I, uh-" He faltered. "I'm feeling a little beat."

A wide grin broke over Bel's face. "Oh, you are? Imagine that…"

She turned back to her targets and lifted the blaster. Before taking her shot, her eyes slipped shut. He wanted her to be calm, to relax, but she didn't feel much like relaxing. Instead, she imagined her brothers face. His stupid, idiotic face. When her eyes fluttered open she projected the image onto the mug in the center of the row and pulled the trigger.

With a crash the mug was shattered; pieces flying in every direction.

Poe let out a whoop and clapped his hands. Bel allowed herself one small, smug smile.

"No bad, Red" He said, "Not bad."

It took close to seventeen tries for her to take down the other six mugs. As she practiced, Poe rattled off sections of his own military training; repeating line for line the lessons he had been taught by the likes of his father and other commanding officers.

"The stormtroopers used to be bad shots." He said. "But now that their armies are human, you have to watch out. You're most likely to get a kill if you aim for the area under their helmets.

Bel paused, lowering her blaster and shifting her attention from the last mug standing. "What are you talking about?"

"The troopers." Poe repeated, thinking she hadn't heard him. "If you aim for their neck, your-"

"I heard you." She interjected. "...I'm not killing anyone."

"That's nice in theory, but you may not have a choice." Poe said.

"They're people." Bel pressed. "I'm a doctor, I want to save lives not snuff them out."

Poe mumbled something low and under his breath. Bel wasn't certain she wanted to know what it was, but she knew she couldn't let him get away with it.

"What was that?" She asked, stalking over to him.

He looked down and Bel thought he was ashamed. But when she reached him, he shot her confident glare.

"You're a doctor with the First Order." He said. "I can't imagine you're in the business of saving many lives."

"I-You don't know anything about me." Bel seethed, color draining from her face.

"How can I? You won't even tell me your name," Poe said, rising from his seat. He clutched the table for support. "And don't think I don't know why."

Bel had expected this from the beginning, even though she was defecting she was still a member of the First Order in the eyes of her rescuers. Nevertheless, the animosity stung. But she would have had to be as naive as a newborn to go through life unaware of the hatred that the First Order inspired.

"Let's hear it then." She spat, stepping closer to him. She would not run from these prejudices, but face them head on.

"All of you." Poe said, before he could stop himself. "You're cowards."

Bel glared, anger swirling in her belly. "Is that right?"

"You hide behind your weapons and your leaders and let them do the thinking for you. You only left when your were able to acquire information as a shield. You did this only to protect yourself."

Bel faltered. She had been hoping for...well, she wasn't sure what she had been hoping for but she did not expect him to be right. So right that it made her head spin.

"And if I did?" Bel growled, nearly choking now on the rage building inside her. "You think you know me? That you're above me? You may fight for a cause but you don't fight for everyone. Do you even think about the people in the Order? The lives that are lost after each and every raid you're commanded to carry out? Have you stopped to think about the thousands and thousands of souls that were stationed on Starkiller base?"

Poe hesitated, but only for a moment.

"What does it matter?" He countered. "They chose their path."

Bel felt as though she'd been slapped. It was unfair, so unfair. She had made no such choice. She had never had the luxury of choice, not since the day she was born. And she wasn't alone.

"It matters." Bel said, her voice gravely low. "You either don't know your enemy at all or you don't care to know and I'm not quite sure which is worse."

"Oh so, one lesson and you're suddenly a master tactician?" Poe questioned, his own anger fueled by the friends he had lost. The families he had had to report to.

"I think I understand more than you do!" Bel growled. "You may choose to fight but you certainly don't know what you're up against. You think that just because you have the Light on your side that your actions are excused? You rebels just go barrelling into battle after battle thinking that the grace of the force with grant you victory? Its no wonder so many of your troops end up dead."

Her words hung heavy in the air, settling into the silence of the coming evening like a blood stain.

"What did you call me?" Poe asked. His eyes, usually warm and bright despite their dark color, had gone cold.

Bel regretted it immediately, a pang of guilt echoed in her chest but she chose to ignore it. She wouldn't let him win this fight, she couldn't. He was wrong. Wrong about her and wrong about the Order. It was no wonder there were so few defectors. It was fear of the Order yes, but also fear of this. Rejection, hatred, criticism. As she scrambled to think of what to say, Poe turned away.

"We head for port in the morning." He said, his voice grim.

Bel opened her mouth, but nothing came to her.

 _Apologize, Bel!_ Some buried instinct commanded. Her pride wouldn't allow it. She did not come all this way to be wrongfully judged. For too long she had held her tongue and forbade herself from speaking her mind. But she had made a promise to herself on that snowy mountain top. _No more_.

Without another word, he turned and trekked unevenly down the hill and to the forest's edge.

Bel watched him go, the guilt seeping deeper and deeper into her veins. She walked over to the chair and sank into it. Resting her elbows on the table, she dropped her head in her hands. She could feel the pulse in her wrist pounding against her temple.

 _Is this the price of freedom?_ She lamented. Leaning back in the chair, she watched the sun begin its languid descent. She wanted to be free of the Order, her brother even, Kylo, yes. _But I'm not sure about this. Being known as the defector for the rest of my days. As a coward. Is it worth it?_ No answer came to her and the silence of the coming evening swallowed her up.

* * *

The sun had fully set and the waning light of a single full moon had risen far past the horizon before the pilot returned. Which each passing minute Bel had felt the weight of guilt and regret grow larger and larger. She was contemplating the chances that he had simply walked and walked until he had found the port and flown off when she first heard him huffing up the hill.

"Hey, Red." Poe called, just as his messy mop of hair became visible to her. "You'll never guess what I-"

"You're right." Bel said, rushing too quickly to her feet. The words were out before she even registered that he was speaking. Had she the nerve to wait for him to speak first, she may have avoided showing her hand.

"...What?" He asked. Bel floundered, realizing that he didn't look or sound at all angry with her. He was obviously tired, but that maddening spark had returned to his eye.

"N-nothing." She stuttered, trying to save face.

"You said..I was right." Poe repeated, stepping closer.

Bel stumbled backwards and nearly fell over the chair. She looked back to the horizon, now a blur as the shade of the night sky deepened. She swallowed hard, her throat dry. _There's no point in denying it now._ She thought.

"I am afraid." She conceded, shoulders sagging. "I left...because I was afraid."

Instead of shame, Bel felt as though she had shed a second skin. The weight lifted away and she inhaled deeply.

"I can't go back." She continued. "And I can never move on if I continue to focus on past regrets."

Poe simply nodded, his head turned down. Bel was thankful he didn't speak, even though the silence quickly became unbearable. She shivered.

He gestured towards her arm, still bare after having torn away the fabric of her sleeve to tend to his wound. "You cold?"

She nodded and his smile returned. "Then wait till you see this."

* * *

Nervously, Bel followed Poe down the hill and into the ever darkening forest. Before leaving, he had grabbed a small box of matches from the house and handed them off to Bel. Though she wracked her mind, she had no idea what to expect. They walked on for twenty minutes before reaching his destination. They had arrived at the foothill of a rocky slope. Taking one of the matches Poe lit up a branch he scavenged from the forest floor and began to navigate the red rocks.

"This way!" He called.

Still hesitant, Bel followed behind. It didn't take long before he stopped and waved the branch in front him. "Check it out."

Gingerly, with all her attentions still focused on the pilot, Bel stepped forward. They had come to a small plateau. Careful to watch her footing, she peered past the edge. The light of the moon and flame wasn't bright, but Bel was certain she could see her reflection staring back up at her.

"It's-?" She started.

"A hot spring!" Poe laughed, clapping her shoulder again. Bel yelped and grabbed at his collar to keep herself from barreling over the edge. Poe caught hold of her waist, keeping her steady.

"Would you stop doing that?!" She hissed, trying to push him off once she was sure she wouldn't fall in.

"Sorry, Red." Poe said, releasing her. "What do you think?"

Bel looked back at the spring. From what she could see, the spring of the cave was no larger than twenty feet across. Upon closer inspection, she could see steam wafting from the surface of the water, fifteen feet down. "About the water?"

Poe rolled his eyes, seemingly expecting her answer. "I just thought you could use a bath, you know?"

"You're one to talk!" She snapped back, flushing.

"I'm not denying it." He replied with a grin, before setting down the branch and proceeding to shed his jacket and shirt with practiced swiftness. Bel's face only grew a darker shade when he didn't stop there. She spun around, heart hammering in her throat.

"W-what are you doing?" She stuttered, making to cover her eyes.

"Well, I don't feel like waiting around in the dark for my clothes to dry." Poe answered.

Before Bel could respond, he let out a boisterous shout which was followed by a definite splash. She spun around and sure enough he was gone. Picking up the makeshift torch, she returned to the edge. All she could see were ripples.

"Are you dead?" She called, only half jokingly.

His head broke the surface only seconds later. "Feel's great!"

"You're crazy!" Bel shouted. "What if it had been five feet shallow?"

"I don't deal in what if's," He answered with a laugh. "Toss me the matches and another branch. And jump on in!"

Muttering curses to herself about the feckless nature of men Bel located another, larger branch and dropped it down along with the matches. He caught them easily and fixed up another torch to lay against the rocky wall.

"You coming?"

Bel flashed a tentative glance at the pile of clothes only a few feet from her. She had half a mind to walk away, but the temptation of hot water and steam was far too enticing.

 _Damn it._

She grabbed at the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, then fiddled with the zipper of her trousers shrugging them off with her boots; leaving her almost completely exposed save for a single sleeve of black fabric that bound her breast and a thin pair of shorts. When she peered over the edge again, a cool breeze tickled her spine.

"There, uh-" She stumbled. "There's a way out, right?"

"Sure there is," Poe reassured. Maddeningly, he didn't elaborate.

As Bel contemplated jumping, butterflies furiously churned in her stomach, out of fear or excitement she didn't know. She could recall no time she had been so exposed in front of a man.

 _One that thinks I'm a coward and would avoid me like a poison if he had the chance._ She noted. _So what does it matter?_

"T-turn around, would you?" Bel called, swallowing down what apprehension and pride she had left.

Poe chuckled again. He complied, but not before saying, "why, s'there something worth seeing?"

 _Why that little-_

Thoroughly taunted, Bel wasted no more time and stepped off the edge. The fall was shorter than she expected and before knew it, she was immersed in water. Compared to the cool night air, it's temperature was blistering. Every tendril of aching muscle in her body went lax. Every centimeter of her skin felt as though it had been lit aflame. She would have been content to sink away into the dark depths and never again see the light of day.

The pool wasn't terribly deep so she pushed off the floor and breached the surface. Silver spots of light floated dizzyingly around her peripheral. Once they faded and her vision focused she met Poe's gaze as she waded closer to the edge and her feet found a submerged rock she could kneel on so that water covered her legs and much of her torso.

Rolling her neck back, she lifted her arms and began to undo the ties that kept her hair up.

"Hey-" Poe started, before turning his gaze back to her. Words caught in his throat as he watched her hair come tumbling down. It was much longer than he imagined it would be, falling several inches past her shoulders. Stripped of uniform and circumstance, she looked like an entirely new person.

"Something 'worthy' catch your eye, Dameron?" Bel asked breezily, as she teased the tangles out of her hair with her fingers. Somehow, mercifully, she managed to keep her cool even though the butterflies in her gut were now traveling at lightening speed.

Poe, seemingly incapable of embarrassment, just smirked and looked to the sky. Bel dipped her head under the water again, smoothing her hair back as she surfaced.

"It's a beautiful night," He said. She followed his gaze. It was rare to see such a large collection of stars from her vantage point. She had spent most of her life, far too much of her life, indoors.

"I always forget how young this planet is." Poe mumbled.

"You come here often?" Bel asked, softly.

He shook his head. "I don't have much time for travel. The last planet I visited was…"

 _Jakku._ He trailed off.

"You were right too." He said, finally.

"About what?"

Before Poe could stop himself, Finn's story spilled out of him. The desperation in the boy's eyes, the fear and determination. The escape had happened so quickly and since then Poe hardly had the time to revisit it. He knew Finn had been brave, but only now was he beginning to realize the gravity of his actions.

"He couldn't even give me a name." He finished, "But without him...I wouldn't be here."

Only then did Poe realize that Finn too had acted out of self preservation. What must have it been like for him? To risk his life in the face of such terror? What was it like to have nothing less to lose?

"You can thank my father for that."

Poe looked up. Bel had her eyes trained on the water. She ran her hand over the heated surface before meeting Poe's gaze.

"He was a tactical officer." She continued. "...and a cruel man. That's all I remember of him, really. But I suppose I should thank him for that. I learned from his rage and ambition. And I learned to recognize it in others."

Bel sunk lower into the water, the warmth of it calming her. She hated talking about her father. The mere mention of his name angered her. But if Poe was to truly trust her, he needed to understand.

"It only took one indiscretion to kill his military career. He was relegated to the Academy, to train the young men and women that were chosen to defend the interests of the Empire. Most of them volunteered. But not all of them."

Neither of them moved as she spoke. And the water began to still.

"He hated it, I know. He wasn't ashamed, just angry he had been caught. And he thought he was unjustly punished. For a little while at least. But he soon found that he had been forced into a position of great power. Hundreds of children learned from him, reported to him, some of them even came to worship him. He promised them success, only if they followed orders. My brother was enrolled, too. But my father despised him. He thought he was too weak, too malleable to carry on the family name. It was only after his death that my brother began to flourish. He had kept journals of his work and from those writings my brother crafted his masterpiece."

A shiver grazed her spine.

"For years my father had been laying plans for a new training method. He called it conditioning. An alternative to the clone armies. My brother took those plans and made them his own; allowing him to climb through the ranks and outpace our father. Now all incoming troopers must undergo training no matter their age. How do you think Snoke amassed such an army? Certainly, there were loyalists who decried the fall of the Empire, but not enough. All those planets that have yielded to the Order? I don't believe a single one of them did so voluntarily. When the Order visits a planet, the strongest men and women are taken and forced into the program. The rest are slaughtered and their children are taken immediately to conditioning.

Bel caught sight of her reflection in the water. It made her sick, to see her brothers eyes there. Cool and calculating.

"Do you know what it does to them?" She continued. "To the children, having only just been ripped from their families? It picks them apart, until they can't remember anything. Not even their given names. And once that is done they are given a number and sent to training."

She swallowed, holding back another furious wave of emotion. She could see Poe's reflection in the water, the horror that distorted it. That she could be tied by blood to men like her father and brother disgusted her. And yet, she could never deny her family.

"But it's not a clean process. Snoke and his generals like to think it is, but they are in denial. My brother knows there are faults in the system and he works tirelessly to cover them up. Many soldiers show signs of nonconformity. When they do they are just sent back for reconditioning. But if that doesn't work, they are sent out on impossible missions to be killed by the enemy. Your friend was lucky to escape when he did. The older they are, the more prolonged and painful the process. It's costly. Teams of psytechs are on hand to monitor the troopers. I knew when the program was implemented that it was wrong. It goes beyond moral depravity. People can't be programmed like droids.

Bel shook her head and looked to Poe again.

"But what could I do? Rebel against my family? Against the Order? The ones who had raised me and those that had cared for when my parents were gone? Growing up, we were told stories of the Rebellion. Killers, thieves and pirates. Selfish people who thought only of their own desires. Anarchists who would benefit from the chaos destruction would bring..."

"...My mother was an engineer. She was assigned to work on the second Death Star. She went willingly, proud to serve her people and the Empire. She believed in order over chaos and wanted to end the suffering the rebellion had brought. And then it was destroyed, along with 4,000 other souls. I was only six months old when she left. I never met her, I have no memory of her face or her voice. My father kept a single photograph and spoke of her very little. Only that her death was unjust, orchestrated by the rebellion and needed to be avenged. So, how could I choose to rebel and join the alliance that had killed my mother and destroyed my family? What kind of daughter would I be if I did that?"

Poe remained silent for a moment.

"What made you change your mind?" He asked tentatively.

A vision of her brother and his smug satisfaction flashed across her eye. Followed by Kylo's words echoing in her head like a death knell; the feeling of his grip on her wrist, it's strength immense and unyielding.

"My mother is dead," Bel answered, her voice hollow. "Nothing I do can change that."

It wasn't a lie, but it was far from the truth. The continuing tendrils of steam felt something through the but her throat felt raw and she was tempted to sink further into the water a drink heavily from the well.

"I'm talking too much."

Poe, his head full, wasn't sure what to say.

Bel smiled knowingly. "Thank you...for listening."

Somewhere, far above them and in the distance, a bird called.

"It's getting late," Poe said. "Should we head back?"

Bel nodded.

They both clambered out of the cave, rejuvenated. This time Bel didn't bother to cover up or ask Poe to turn away. She had bared so much of herself already, a little extra skin didn't seem to matter anymore. Poe made it to the top first and offered his hand to her as she struggled to pull herself up.

The air was far colder than their bodies and they rushed into their clothes as quickly as possible.

"You remember the way back?" Bel asked.

"We can find the way." Poe assured.

"I should ask," She said, as they began their descent. "Where do you come from?"

"Where was I born?" Poe asked.

Bel nodded, wrapping her arms around herself.

"Yavin 4."

"A moon?" Bel asked, remembering the name from the stories of her youth. "I didn't know people could live on moons."

Poe chuckled. "Plenty of people do. But Yavin's the best of them all."

Bel looked to the ground, embarrassed by her naivety. She had crossed the galaxy countless timeless aboard destroyers and the like, yet she had seen so little of its planets and inhabitants. She was only now beginning to understand how much she had missed, trapped inside the walls of the Order.

"What is it like?" She asked with a curious innocence.

Poe regarded her with soft eyes before launching into a tale of his own. Bel listened intently as he described the jungles, lush with greenery and animal life, the sunsets that were unlike any planet or moon he had visited since. He regaled her with the stories of his parents, both rebel fighters of high regard; the ranch they had built themselves and the valleys he had explored from the days of his youth.

His stories managed to get them back to the house with time to spare and with Bel's encouragement he continued his stories as they climbed into the bed. He talked until his eyes began to droop and took Bel's quiet yawn as a signal that the time for sleep had come.

"Well," he said. "Goodnight, Bel."

Bel smiled sleepily, "Goodnight, Poe."

With no words left, each of them stared into the other's eyes, both wondering who would give in to sleep first.

* * *

This chapter was super dialogue heavy, I just hope it wasn't too much! The action will pick up again in the new chapter. Thank you all for reading and Happy Holidays!


	8. Chapter 8

Star Crossed has hit 100 favorites! I'm so pleased that readers are enjoying this fic. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and favoriting! It's definitely helping to fill the Star Wars void...if they would only release the dang trailer! Now back to the action. ;0)

* * *

 **Arrival.**

They left the cottage at first light. The morning air was still and cool, blanketing the hillsides in a eerie yet comforting silence. Sunbeams surpassing the horizon tinted the sky at the horizon a soft yellow, languidly overtaking the shades of blue that lingered from the night.

Another search of the dilapidated home revealed a small pack and a jug they could use to carry water. Before setting out, they had bickered over who was to carry it and somehow Bel had managed to come out on top. But it was no victory.

 _He must be hurting._ Bel thought, watching him as he scanned the landscape. _Giving in so easily…_

His tenacity had returned, but he had yet to regain the exuberance he had shown at their first meeting. It seemed so long ago now, Bel could hardly believe it had only been a few days. He seemed less like a stranger now, but could she call him a friend? No doubt the concept was different in his eyes. There were no friends in the First Order, only vacillating allies. Bel wanted to trust him. No, she _needed_ to trust him but she was hindered by her upbringing. She couldn't shake the notion that, once this was over and his assignment was complete, he would move on to the next without so much as a look back. But that was a worry for another day.

She had replaced the dressing on his head the night before with makeshift supplies obtained during the rummaging. The wound was healing and thankfully, given the circumstances, she had managed to stave off an infection, but she needed real tools if she was to sew it up and allow the healing process to take better effect. And while his fever had lessened and he had slept through the night without incident, he still felt warmer than normal under her hand. No doubt, his body was still reeling from the injury.

Bel hoped, beyond hope, that a day's walking would at least bring them to settlement where people were actively living. She slid the linen strap of the pack over her shoulder. Fortunately, Poe's eagerness and the clear morning sky proved enough to temper the nerves that still shook Bel's stomach. Having won the right the carry bag, she relented the lead to Poe and with what she hoped was a reassuring smile followed him down the hill and into the forest.

* * *

They walked for hours, stunted by empty stomachs, aching limbs and growing exhaustion. But the serene weather kept a firm hold on the day and they were able to stumble up and down the grassy hills weaving between trees with quiet persistence.

At times, Bel wondered if she should instigate a conversation, but they had talked so much the night before. She cringed thinking of it now. What had compelled her to be so open? Never in her life had she spoken so freely about her family and her struggles.

 _I may as well have peeled back my skin and shown him my most vital organs._ She thought, gripping the strap of her pack tighter.

Rather than mull on another bout of embarrassment, she focused instead on Poe's back. He must have had similar feelings, for he too was silent; a peculiarity she sensed was uncharacteristic of him.

To Bel, none of the landscape was familiar. She followed Poe as they traversed hilltop to hilltop, hardly stopping to take in the views. After a while Poe seemed to grow more confident in the path he tread. Around midday, they arrived at a trail stamped into the ground by footsteps. The only sounds existing between them were the crunching of dying grass underfoot and the occasional haunting cry of some far off seabird. Until finally, the call wasn't far off but directly overhead. It should've have been sinister, the site of such a large, dark figure circling above them like a predator on the hunt, but Poe turned back to Bel with what was quickly becoming a familiar grin.

He lumbered up a steep incline, faltering only when the soft soil buckled under his weight. Bel, equally exhausted, chose to wait at the foot of the hill instead of wasting any much needed stamina. After a moment, he tossed his head back and barked a laugh.

"What is it?" She called, adjusting the pack to her other shoulder. She was eager to be rid of the weight, but she would be damned if she asked him to take it from her. The sky was slowly turning to pink and her exposed skin was covered in goosebumps as a chill began to settle over the land. Evening was coming and night would soon follow.

"We made it." He answered, his voice fueled by relief and exhaustion. Wind was knocking his damp curls about.

With a stabling sigh, Bel hoisted herself up the hill. When she had almost breached the top she heard Poe call her name. Looking up, she realized he was offering her a hand. For some reason, even though she knew it was silly, her pride forbade her from taking it.

"Made it where, exactly?" She asked, pausing to catch her breath.

"Half Moon Bay."

Below them was a port town, no doubt center hub of the tiny planet. Even from their perspective, Bel could make out the movement of crowds shuffling between white clay buildings that stretched from the coastline up into eastern hills. The bay, having no doubt earned its title due to its distinguishable shape, was outfitted with several wooden docks where ships and freighters rocked idly along with the dark ocean waves as they sloshed up against the equally black shoreline. The water looked calm and with only a breeze billowing through the air, the scent of salt and seabirds was strong.

Bel knelt forward, resting her hands on her knees, relief sparking a new wave of adrenaline in her veins. She straightened up, smiling wide.

"Not bad, Dameron." She said.

Poe laughed again and started down the hill. "And you doubted me…!"

Shaking her head, Bel followed. While he barreled down, she chose her steps with care. They walked along the shore line before arriving at the docks. Both of them looked to the water, their confidence quaking as they remembered their last encounter with the sea. The gentle sound of the waves as the frothed against the sand should have been calming, instead Bel felt the weight of water surrounding her and the burning sensation of air-deprived lungs like a ghost living inside her. Haunting her. Haunting them both.

"So what now?" She asked, gripping the strap of the pack with both hands. The thought of a real bed and possibly a hot shower made her knees shake.

Poe pointed up the main road. "See the house at the top there?"

Bel had to squint to make it out. As the hill curved upwards in a gentle incline, the number of buildings diminished until there was only one that could be seen at the end of the road. Although it occupied what was likely a desirable spot amongst the others, it looked no bigger or better kept. It was crafted, like all the others, of white clay and sported a flat roof with few square windows.

"That's where my contact lives." He said, placing his hands on his hips. "Giles Finlay. He's an old friend of my father's."

It was a short distance compared to the length of land they had traversed since the morning, but Bel felt content to groan all the same. Poe just grinned. They left the docks, mud and dust flecking off their shoes and clothes as the stamped across the damp wood.

Stands crafted of that same wood lined each side of the street. Merchants were beginning to close up for the night, some of them shooing away late customers, others calling them in for one last sale. Bel felt her mouth begin to water at the sight of fruits and vegetables piled in wooden bowls, soon to be packed away for another day.

"Do you think we should-" She started.

She didn't have a chance to finish. Poe grabbed her arm and dragged her into an alleyway.

"Ah!" Bel hissed, trying and failing to unhinge herself from his grip. His thumb was pressed squarely against her still healing scratches. "What is it?!"

Poe hushed her and pulled her up against the wall.

"I thought I saw..." He said under his breath, placing himself between her and the mouth of the alley.

The waning adrenaline returned. "Who?"

"Davos Lin" Poe said. "A bounty hunter."

They watched as several bodies passed by, the tops of their dim shadows grazing Poe's feet. When a taller man slunk past, Poe pressed his back against the wall. His skin was rough and tanned, a sign that he likely came from a desert planet. A large strip of coarse fur was draped over his shoulders in an 'x' and several weapons were strapped to the wide belt around his waist. His eyes were as dark as his jet black hair, flitting from face to face with steely focus. A thick scar marred his face, trailing from his cheek, cutting through his lip and stretching to his angular jaw line. Trailing behind him were two others, members of his team most likely. But they were petite and skittish, almost reptilian in face and form. And compared to their mountainous boss they reminded Bel of the maintenance droids that scuttled around the base; aimless nuisances without a commander to report to.

 _That must be him._ Bel thought, a shiver running up her spine. _Damn Armitage. He must have set a price on my head._

Bel swallowed. "What do we do?"

"Well..." Poe seemed as uncertain as she felt.

"This way," He said, pulling her further into the alley. It seemed counterintuitive to Bel, but she hadn't seen the iron ladder affixed to the side of the building. Poe signaled for her to go first and they climbed up until they reached the rooftop. Thankfully, no one was there, though it was clear by the furniture and rug that the space was often occupied. Poe strode towards the front of the house and cast a look down. Sea winds knocked Bel's hair about, she undid the ponytail she had sported since morning and spun it into a bun at the base of her head, thankful to have something to do with her nervous energy.

"He's heading back towards the docks." Poe said. "If we stay up here, we'll avoid detection."

"Stay?" Bel repeated. "Don't we need to-"

"We will." Poe said pointing to his right. Bel could see now that the distance between houses was slim at best. _He means for us to jump._ She gingerly approached the edge and looked down, the climb had taken them two stories up. To fall would result in a painful end.

Sensing Poe behind her, she swirled around and saw that sure enough, he meant to slap her shoulder. Again.

" _Don't_ you dare." She hissed, leaping to the side to avoid any contact.

"It's not as wide as it looks." Poe assured her.

"That may be the stupidest thing you've said yet." Bel said aghast, placing her hands on her hips.

"Yet," Poe grinned, flashing his teeth. "That's the key."

He stepped backwards and took a running leap. Bel's hands turned to fists, her nails piercing the skin of her palm as she watched him fly through the air. But sure enough, he landed with relative ease.

"See? Easy." He called.

To give it another thought would only deter the action, so Bel mimicked his steps and leapt. Unlike Poe, she had a long gate but her landing wasn't quite so easy. She stumbled and nearly toppled over a chair she hadn't seen when leaping.

Poe chuckled, but made no move to help her. Bel bit on her lip and steadied herself, brushing off her pant legs in a huff.

"Well," She said. "How many more are there?"

Poe turned his eyes to the hilltop. "I'd say a dozen or so."

 _Great._ Bel thought, preparing herself for another jump. _Just great._

After several more less than graceful jumps and an equally tricky descent down the side of another home, they reached the top of the hill. Even though they had seen the hunter head off in the opposite direction, his presence in the town lingered at their backs like an ever-threatening fog; out of sight, but very much in mind. Both knew full well that they had maneuvered around the danger, but couldn't shake the feeling that they were in fact being pursued. Poe climbed the stairs to the door and Bel followed close behind. He pushed the door open and without so much as a knock they slunk inside. It fell shut behind them, locking them into a room of shadow and dust. With the sun now setting, there was very little light in the southern facing house.

For a moment all was silent. Bel, unable to stand the tension, whispered, "Poe?"

"Giles?" Poe called tentatively, stepping further into the house.

As her eyes adjusted, Bel could better make out the interior of the home. Just like at the cottage, a set of three steps sat just feet from the entrance leading down into what must of have been a living space. To her right, she could see a steep staircase only just wide enough for a person to ascend. She followed Poe, gingerly stepping down into the living area. A low table and a circular couch sat in front of a domed fireplace where glowing embers crackled amongst a large pile of black ash.

"Giles!" Poe called again, stepping around the couch and through a doorway that sat to the left of the fireplace.

Bel followed him, the unease in her belly expanding. She couldn't be sure how late they were, having not kept track of the passing days since their crash. She cursed herself now for being so careless. Could Poe's contact have up and fled in fear of their absence? Or worse...was this all a trap?

Swallowing down the growing lump in her throat, Bel entered into what she realized was a kitchen. Poe had already started to ascend an even narrower staircase that lay just inside the doorway, when a dark shadow flared in Bel's peripheral.

"Poe!" She shouted, rushing over to a table that sat under a single rectangular window across from the entrance. There, slumped over table, was a man. His head rested heavily over his arm, still as death.

Poe clamored down the steps, his shoulder hitting the wall as he made the sharp turn towards them. His breath was catching as he approached. The light of the day was waning and Bel's heart was beating so hard in her head she couldn't tell if he was breathing. She pressed her fingers into the thick folds of skin at his neck searching for pulse.

"Is he…?" Poe started.

"No," Bel finished, assuming the question Poe couldn't complete. "But it's slow."

She pulled her fingers away and wiped them against her pant leg. The man was sweating.

"I take it this is your contact?" She asked.

Before Poe could answer, they were jolted by a loud crash that shook the ceiling above them. After a moment of tense silence a noise like heavy footsteps could be heard at the top of the staircase.

"Shit," Poe grumbled. "This way."

This time, Bel gladly took the hand he offered. He spun around and grabbed at another door handle, prying it open. Bel had thought it was an exit to the back of the house, but she cringed at what she saw: a narrow wooden staircase leading into what looked like nothing but a pitch black sea.

"What's-?!" Bel started.

"Basement," Poe said, pulling her down the steps. Dust hampered her vision further; she covered her mouth with her free hand to block anything from entering her lungs.

"Here," Poe whispered, dragging her behind a stack of wooden boxes.

"Is it him?" Bel asked, crouching down next to Poe.

"I don't know." Poe's voice echoed in the dark. "But Giles lives alone so…"

He trailed off, but the answer was clear enough. They waited, nearly choking on apprehension until the creaking door confirmed their fears. Bel flinched and she felt Poe's arm around her shoulders, holding her down. A heavy weight fell on the first step which groaned loudly. Then the second...and the third until whoever it was finally reached the bottom with an ominous _clunk._

Bel kept her hand firmly pressed to her mouth for fear of even the smallest of sounds escaping her lips. Her eyes sealed shut as a wave of what if's dominated her mind. And she waited, powerless, for the voice of whoever it was to fracture the silence and demand they coming out of hiding.

Instead, a series of garbled high-pitched chirps emanated from the dark.

Bel couldn't understand it. _It almost sounds like a dro-"_

"Buddy!" Poe shouted, jumping to his feet and nearly knocking Bel to the ground. She struggled to remain on her knees and rose slowly to a standing position, gripping one of the boxes for balance. She held a hand to her mouth, coughing as waves of dust caught in the air.

A white-blue light illuminated the basement revealing a droid. It was a small, circular thing, just able to reach Bel's knees.

"-you scared the hell outta me," Poe was saying. He had knelt down in an attempt to be eye to eye with the orange and white model. It was chattering excitedly, it's head moving from side to side in a giddy fashion.

Bel rounded the boxes and stood just behind Poe, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Umm," She said after moment of listening in on what was only a one-sided conversation to her uncultured ears.

Poe turned. "Oh yeah, this is uh, Bel."

The droid rolled forward, it's glassy black eye moving up and down until it landed squarely at her middle. With a shrill series of beeps it sped forward and a small hatch on it body opened to reveal a thin metal appendage. Before Bel could open her mouth, the little thing emitted a shuttering beam of light and a stinging sensation erupted in her thigh.

 _A shock!?_ Bel realized.

"Ah! H-hey!" Bel sputtered, stumbling back into the boxes to dodge another hit.

"Woah, Buddy!" Poe called, barely able to contain a grin. "It's okay."

The droid's head spun around and another string of anxious beeps were directed at Poe.

"She's not dangerous, B-" Poe tried to explain, flashing an apologetic look at Bel. "Oh...the blaster."

Realization dawned on Bel and she looked down to see that sure enough the blaster Poe had found was still strapped to her belt.

"Nothing to worry about buddy," Poe said amicably. "She's a terrible shot."

Bel scoffed, "is that so?"

Poe just shrugged and chuckled. "I call them like I see them."

The little droid's head bobbed back and forth between the two curiously before emitting another beep.

Poe looked down. "I know, I know. Hey, what happened to Giles?"

Bel watched as the droid swirled in a little circle and conversed animatedly with Poe. It had never occurred to her that a human could come to understand the binary language unless they were engineers. Most of the droids she had experience spoke her language and were so heavily programmed they spoke only in response to a request or order. And yet Poe responded so quickly, as if he understood every little beep and chirp without so much as a second of thought.

"Is that all?" Poe said, shaking his and drawing Bel's attention back.

"He's okay?" She asked.

"In a sense." Poe said and began to climb the stairs without offering any further explanation.

Huffing, Bel made to follow him but was cut off by the little droid.

"Oh...uh, hello." She said, raising her hand in what could only be called a pathetic attempt at a wave. The droid's head fell to one side and Bel had the sneaking suspicion that she was being very carefully scrutinized.

With a half smile, she gestured towards the stairs. "Umm...after you?"

The droid's head returned to it's center position and it chirped again before slowly climbing the steps. Bel waiting until it had reached the top before climbing up herself.

When she entered the kitchen, she saw that Poe was shaking the man vigorously.

"Is he asleep?" She asked.

"Passed out s'more like it." Poe said, shrugging his head to the table. Bel looked down and saw several bottles occupying the tabletop. In the waning light of day, she could see they were all empty.

"I see," she said, biting at her lip.

The droid chirped again indignantly.

"His name is Buddy?" Bel asked.

"No this is BB-8," Poe said, "but he is my buddy."

Poe glanced down at the droid, "You think you could give me a hand?"

BB-8 beeped brightly in reply and the little shocker sprung out from him again. It aimed carefully and sent a jolt through the pudgy form of the sleeping man.

With a cry he sputtered out a curse, knocking his knees against the bottom of the table and sending bottles crashing to the dusty kitchen floor.

"Evenin' Giles." Poe greeted sardonically, leaning his arm against the cabinets. The man blinked lethargically before realizing that the voice he heard wasn't some dreamed up amalgamation of his drowned head and unfinished nap.

"Poe, my boy!" His voice, gravelly from age but warm and relieved all the same. "I's expecting you three days ago!"

"Things didn't go to plan," Poe said, with a grin as the older man clapped him on the shoulder and pulled him in for a hug.

"I'll say," Giles chuckled before it turned into a full blown cough. "Went looking for you two days past, but then the 'troopers showed up an' I knew I had t'make myself scarce."

It was fleeting, but Bel was sure she saw a flash of guilt cross the pilot's face. Her gut quivered at the mention of troopers.

"I'm sorry to keep you waiting." Poe said, his voice turning grim.

Giles tutted. "You're here now. Alive and...well?"

He had spotted the makeshift bandages wrapped around Poe's head.

"That's nothing." Poe shrugged.

Giles opened his mouth to protest, but he noticed Bel standing silently by the basement door.

"Well, then." He said, adjusting the hem of his pants as he stood from the table. "This must be the deserter."

Bel couldn't identify his tone, so she simply nodded.

"Bel." Poe introduced. "And I wouldn't be standing here without her."

"That's debatable." Bel said quickly.

Giles laughed. "I've known this fella since he was a lad and he's not one for lyin'"

Bel wasn't sure what to say, but she was relieved by a commotion of voices at the front door.

"And speaking of lads," Giles said gruffly. "I've been entertaining some guests the past few days. They've been eager to find you, kid."

Poe shot an incredulous look at his contact, but realization dawned a moment later.

"You don't mean-?"

'Hey Giles!" A buoyant male voice called from the entrance as if summoned by chance. "You still under?"

Poe bounded through the kitchen door. "Snap! And Jess! You're a sight for sore eyes!"

The commotion turned to a raucous celebration and Giles chuckled, smoothing back his hair with one large hand. Bel stayed glued to her place by the basement floor and fought the urge to barrel back down the steps and into the dark.

Giles turned to her and motioned with his arm. "C'mon, they don't bite."

Bel opened her mouth, but her mind was clouded by the animosity that hung over her first interactions with Poe. With a hammering heart, she swallowed and followed Giles into the living room.

She hung back, letting him walk in first and address the group. Thankfully, there were only two of them. The first of them, the male that had loudly announced their arrival, was both tall and portly. He sported a thick beard and large cheery eyes. He was embracing Poe with brotherly gusto and chattering on so quickly Bel could hardly follow the conversation. The second was a young woman, shorter even than Poe. She had olive skin and a prominent brow line. Her hair was ink black like her eyes and slicked into a bun similar to Bel's. She hung back behind the man, but she was smiling wide, eyes sparked with relief and joy. They were dressed as Poe was, in drab civilian clothes, but Bel could see that each had a small blaster. The urge to slip back into the kitchen and through the basement door was growing stronger and stronger.

Bel gripped her left elbow with the opposite hand and held her head high. _Of course I look like shit._ She couldn't help but think. _But at least Poe does too…_

She looked to him and blanched realizing that somehow, even with those torn rags wrapped around his head and a still paling complexion Poe looked...well, he looked good. That roguish smile that he wore so well was plastered on his face. His eyes were bright, gleaming with excitement as he both listened and talked over his friends. His hair had formed tight curls that nicely framed his face. He looked-

"Jess, Snap." Poe said, raising his voice an octave and catching Bel's wavering attention. "This is Bel."

With four pairs of eyes directed squarely at her person (not including the one roly-poly glass eye), Bel wasn't sure what to do, smile? Bow? Nod? Instead she just stepped forward.

"H-hello."

* * *

 **Author aside** : I have such a hard time with Bel's hair because I originally imagined her as an icy blonde and it didn't come until later that I realized she would be great as Hux's sister. In my mind she just personifies that "icy blond" type of girl. So I guess her hair is definitely a "strawberry blonde" hue (that shade that's in between ginger and blonde) because I love that Poe calls her "red." In fact, it's funnier to me now that he calls her that cause she's not a really "red" redhead so it likely annoys her more when he calls her that. I would describe it as strawberry blonde, but that always reads as super obnoxious to me And even then I still picture her as more blonde than ginger, basically I'm so conflicted! .

Anyways, this was a long way to say if any of you are interested...I started up a We Heart It account to collect images for all my OC's including Bel! The collections are listed by OC name but they contain pictures that inspire the places in my stories as well. You can check it out, my username is hailescomet ;0)

As always, thank you for reading and I'm just dying to hear from you all!


	9. Chapter 9

I was hoping to get this out much sooner, but I got distracted and frustrated because I feel like I'm not doing this fic justice. That being said, here is chapter 9!

* * *

 **Sparks.**

"-and _**then**_ he tells me that the wing's buckled!"

Laughter, loud and boisterous, filled the small home like warmth from the blazing fireplace. After a string of introductions, Giles had busied himself in the kitchen, putting together a meal with the food that Snap and Jess had brought back from the marketplace. Soon the house was enveloped in tempting scents, energizing both Poe and Bel. While they waited, Poe regaled his comrades with the story of his botched mission. He spoke excitedly using sweeping gestures and only occasionally embellishing. Bel remained quiet, relieved to see him so animated. He was a long way from the injured pilot she had pulled from the water. She hoped that the symptoms he had shown were not tied to the often fatal and irreversible Bloodburn as she had initially thought.

 _He seems fully healed._ She noted, before taking another look around the room. His friends were hanging on his every word. With each stretch of the story, Snap would clap his hands together or let out a small cheer. Jess on the other hand, would turn her eyes up with a disparaging smile and a shake of her head. Neither Snap nor Jess had spoken to Bel directly, choosing instead to shoot curious glances her way when they thought she wasn't looking. Bel, having lived her life under the tyrannical rule of the paranoid Leader, knew all too well what it felt like to be watched so closely. She didn't fault them for it. Poe was just as weary of her upon their first meeting. And she had harbored similar feelings towards him.

 _I guess I should find a way to save them from a sinking ship._ She thought sardonically.

At Giles' call, they crowded around a small table. Bel, unable to shake the feeling of being out of place, tried to maneuver herself so she was seated next to Poe but Snap had beaten her to it, taking up the only space left on the bench at his side. Quietly, she sat across from him; nodding when Jess asked if she could take the spot next to her. Giles took a seat at the head of the table and personally prepared plates for each of his guests.

Stories flowed as quickly as the drinks, one after another. Giles told tales of his time spent with Poe's father during the days of the first war, each one of them a spine-tingling misadventure. Bel, although tired, hung on to each tail like an eager child, too amazed to join in laughter. Soon, they turned to the present and Snap joined in.

"Giles," Snap continued, his voice almost hoarse from the raucous dinner. "Anyone ever tell you about the time I first met Poe here?"

"Can't say I've heard that one." Giles said, leaning back in his chair.

Snap launched in the story, expertly weaving exposition with jokes. It was clearly a story he had told on more than one occasion.

"Oh man," Poe interjected, ducking his head. "I'm never going to live that one down am I?"

"Never," Jess confirmed, beaming as she sipped her own drink.

"-so Dameron, and he's talking at light speed by the way, following her like a maintenance droid-"

BB-8 trilled loudly in protest.

"-and slams right into the wall. I mean he missed the door by a mile, I'd swear it. Landed flat on his back."

Giles guffawed, almost choking on his drink.

"Hey, she never forgot me." Poe said, looking across the table at Bel and winking.

Bel breathed a small laugh, but looked away. Thankfully, his gaze didn't linger as he launched into a story of his own, one that was likely meant to level the playing field.

 _He seems so at home here. More like...himself._ She thought, watching as the others leaned in to hear his tale, eyes alight. She had seen fragments of this Poe since they had met. Yet for all their talk she could still feel a distance there. His life, the way he had been raised it was all so different from hers. That contrast seemed more obvious to her now. The table between them seemed to expand and her head began to spin. To see him here, with his friends...his family now that his parents were gone...They may as well be occupying different planets. She couldn't help but wonder if she would have seen this side of him had the mission gone as planned. Where would she be now? A chill ran up her spine as she realized she didn't know. What would she do after this was over? Would the resistance simply let her be? And...would she and Poe part indefinitely? She frowned, wondering why that outcome was so disheartening.

 _Why would I expect anything else?_ She questioned. She knew the answer, it floated around her head like a fog, but she didn't want to give it credence. So she banished the thoughts and returned her attention to the table.

"Well, Giles," Poe said, reaching for his drink. "It took this long, but I think we finally found something you're good at." He gestured towards his empty plate with a nod.

Giles chortled, before passing the bowl of greens Poe's way. "You're only sayin' that cause you've been nursing that empty stomach with nothing but mushrooms."

"No, it's very good," Bel chimed in softly. It was the first time she had spoken since the meal began.

Giles lifted his bottle as a show of gratitude and then drank it dry. Jess and Snap laughed again and mimicked the action.

After the laughter subsided and the plates were cleared, talk of the morning's plans began. Poe looked to Snap for answers.

"Snap's the best recon pilot we have." Poe explained to Bel before addressing his friend. "What are our chances?"

Snap leaned forward, his cheery disposition now buried. "The biggest problem is your ship. We have to get you off planet without detection or we could be followed."

"We came in a borrowed freighter." Jess added.

"Yours is still hidden," Giles said, rejoining the group with a freshly opened bottle. "But two days back the port was flooded with troopers."

"The bulk of them have gone." Jess confirmed. "But a small squadron still patrols the docks. We haven't seen their captain, but we think he's keeping tabs on the flight schedule."

"We saw Davos Lin skulking around town." Poe said, brow furrowed. "I'm guessing he's not the only one."

As Jess and Snap ran down the list of bounty hunters that had descended into port Bel ears rang, making it almost impossible for her to concentrate on the conversation. The sound of their voices dimmed and Bel was swallowed up by the sound of waves. Her lungs caved and for a moment, she forgot how to breath. Bel had been waiting for this moment, for all eyes to turn on her and hear the questioned posed. Why? Why was the First Order so intent on tracking her down?

But it never came.

"We're already behind schedule." Poe said, "The General needs this intel."

 _He must know._ Bel thought, watching him closely. _That they won't leave until I'm found._

"-we don't have time to wait. More bounty hunters will come and any window we have will disappear," Poe said, the threat of another failure gnawing at the back of his head. As Jess and Snap exchanged a worried look, Poe looked to Bel.

"What do you think?"

She balked. _He wants my opinion?_

She could see the question in his eyes, the shadow of doubt. Bel would lying to herself if she thought she didn't share his companion's concerns. But she was tired of waiting. And tired of running. She wanted to do her piece by General Organa and get on with her life.

 _We crashed landed. I pulled him out of a sinking ship. If we can get through that..._

Bel straightened up, eyes on Poe. "We've made it this far."

Poe grinned. "If there's a chance tomorrow..."

He rose from his seat, "I say we take it."

* * *

While Poe and the others delved into their plans, Bel offered to assist Giles with the rest of the dishes. Once the task was done, she wasn't sure what to do. She was no strategist and could offer no helpful account of the troopers plans, but Poe seemed more than well versed with these types of escapes. Bel stood in the door of the kitchen, watching and listening; wondering how many times he found himself embroiled in dangerous missions like these ones.

 _If he's anything like his mother and father,_ She thought, recalling the stories from earlier. _Then it's likely he lives for this stuff._

"There's a hot shower upstairs." Giles said from behind her.

Bel smiled, beyond gratified for both the hospitality and an excuse to slip away. "That would be nice."

"Clothes, too." Giles said.

When Bel cast him a curious look, he chuckled. "Lot's of people pass through this house. Rebels and friends alike. Some of them leave things behind."

Bel headed up the back staircase, eager to rinse off the dirt and worry.

* * *

Water, the heat of it only a slivers length away from burning her skin, slid down her shoulders and back. Her joints cracked loudly as she rolled her shoulders in slow circles, wincing as the ache deepened and then began to fade. She breathed a sigh as layers of grime and dust fell away, swallowed up by the drain at her feet. Steam, thick like fog, surrounded her. She scrubbed at her skin and picked at the dirt that had accumulated under nails.

For once, her head felt empty. No thoughts of her brother's machinations. No thoughts of tomorrow's risks, whatever they may be. Of what her future held.

She was tempted to stay in the shower until the water turned to ice. Blissfully drowning in a sea of steam. She shut her eyes and attended to her hair, pulling at tangles and wringing out the dust.

 _Soon._ She assured herself as she stepped out. _It will all be over soon._

True to Giles' word, Bel found a closet packed with clothes of practically every make and size. It took her a while to rifle through it all. Some of the clothes were too large or too small, but after sifting through the musty masses she found a top of dark teal and a pair of rust colored trousers that fit her long frame; ones that didn't seem as though they were made for a masculine shape. The fabric of the top was thin and cool against her skin, nothing like the feel of her usual uniform; heavy, coarse and constricting. The back of it was fitted with a scooped cowl that could be adjusted into a hood. She fixed two of the three buttons at her chest to cover any cleavage but left the top one open. After rolling the sleeves up past her elbows, she slipped into the pants which were adorned with several pockets. Bel tucked the pant-legs into her boots, which had become rather roughed up from the journey; it was doubtful that anyone would recognize them as First Order regulation gear with their impeccable sheen wiped away.

Out of habit, she began to sweep her hair into a tight bun, but paused before tying it off. She caught sight of herself in the small round mirror that hung above the sink. Unhooking her thumbs, she let the bulk of her hair fall back down her shoulders. With a keen eye, she turned her head from side to side inspecting her reflection.

 _I look..._ different. She was certain she had never worn a color other than black, even when off duty. The brighter hues softened her pale skin. And the teal brought out the blue in her eyes, warming away the ice. A smile teased the corner of her lips.

 _I_ like _it._ She thought, beaming as she loosely tied off only a small grouping of locks at the back of her head. The warm shower and soap had cleaned away the weight of dirt and oil, the ends of her hair had turned up in a soft curl. After a few small adjustments, she felt ready to return to the talks downstairs.

She drifted silently down the cramped, dark hallway to the main staircase and gripped the iron railing. Bending at her waist so that she could see past the ceiling, she was surprised to find that only Poe remained the common room. He was lounging in one of the plush chairs that faced the fireplace, nursing another drink. He had hitched one booted foot up onto the edge of the fireplace. Even from here, Bell could see dark circles under his eyes and a deep frown etched into his face. A stark contrast to the man that had only minutes earlier been seen joyfully reminiscing with friends.

Bel wondered if she should venture down and interrupt him. Her curiosity over what she had missed was too great to ignore.

When she reached the last step she said, "Where did everyone go?"

Poe flinched as her voice broke through his reverie. He turned to look at her and then scrambled to his feet.

"Hey!" He said, "You look…uh-"

His eyes raked over her body so slowly that Bel felt a new heat threaten to seep through her skin.

"Rebellious?" Bel joked half-heartedly and traipsed down the small steps, hoping she looked and sounded unaffected.

Poe smiled and lowered himself back down in the chair. He gestured to it's partner next to him.

"You want a drink?"

Bel shook her head, before dropping down into the chair.

Flames danced languidly in the pit, casting watery shadows around the room. Warm air rolled over her like a breeze. It was enough to lull her to sleep.

"You didn't answer my question," She said, crossing one leg over the other.

"Hmm?" Poe responded. "Oh, Jess and Snap went back into town...t'see if the plan will work."

"Plan?" Bel asked.

"Snap's been watching bay traffic." Poe explained. "A dozen or so ships leave the harbor every day around noon. If we're lucky, we can leave with them and avoid detection long enough to make the jump the hyperspace."

" _If_ we're lucky?" Bel repeated, unease bubbling up in her stomach.

He tore his eyes from the fire. There was something new to them now, a steel she hadn't seen since their meeting in the bunker. She knew what was coming.

"How does your head feel?" She asked, hoping to move far away from their current subject of conversation.

Poe's shoulders fell, she could tell he was disappointed in her. It was an obvious segway, but as her heartbeats hammered in her ears, she knew she couldn't do it. Answer the questions he wanted to pose.

"All better." He said, turning his attention back to the fire.

Bel swallowed, guilt swirling in her chest.

"Why don't I judge that?" She said, rising from her chair with a small grin. It wasn't returned.

Undeterred, Bel knelt down next to his chair.

"At least let me remove the bandages," She said in a whisper.

He looked down at her, eyes searching. Bel kept her face as still and as blank as she could manage. Then, after a moment, he slid forward in the chair and leaned in closer.

Relieved, Bel rose up on her knees and began to undo the knot she had tied at the side of his head. She worked in silence, unable to think of a thing to say. She could feel his breath against her face, slow and steady as she unraveled the bindings. He still smelled of moss, mushrooms and something else she couldn't put her finger on. It teased her senses. As her fingers grazed his temple electricity shot through her nervous system. She remembered suddenly his hand reaching out for hers; the feel of it grasping her hand and holding tight. Calloused skin. Rough from years of gripping at controls and working on his ship. She tried to divert her attention but failed. Her thoughts turned to their rocky landing, his voice trying to calm her even as they spiraled out of control. Of waves crashing against her; pulling her down and chilling her bones. Her eyes fluttered as the image morphed again, she could see steam now and black water reflecting bare skin in dim firelight. The shape of reflecting in the water, rippling and-

"Well, it's healed nicely," She stuttered, fingers beginning to shake. "All things considered."

She locked eyes with him, instantly regretting it. His brown orbs, only hours ago were the warm and light, now they seemed dark and indignant.

"Is something-?" She asked, nearly breathless.

"Who's after you, Bel?" Poe asked gruffly.

A string of curses ran through her head but did all she could to maintain eye contact. He had every right to ask. And, since he was likely risking his life, every right to know.

 _But I don't want anyone to know._ Bel thought. It was something akin to shame. And instinct. Every fiber of her screaming at her to shut him down and run. She had never liked her father and rarely agreed with him, but his desperate desire to keep family secrets hidden was the one thing she could understand. To open them up to others was no better than revealing the plans she had stolen. He would see her for what she was. The still tenuous bond they had somehow managed to build up would be shattered. He would see her for what she was; not an innocent swept into the gears of the Order but a high ranking official. A sworn enemy. Her reasons for leaving were just that, hers. And hers alone.

"It's...complicated." She relented.

"So it's not just about information." Poe baited. It wasn't a question.

Bel shook her head, confirming what he already knew. She shifted her eyes to her lap, tugging at a loose thread on the bloodstained bandage. _Maybe I should've taken that drink._

"There are people," Bel started, clamoring for an answer that would satisfy him. "High ranking people within The Order that will see my leaving as the basest of betrayals. It's not that they don't want me dead…"

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. There was a part of her that wanted to tell him, but she could see the eyes of her peers, hear their whispers. They all thought they knew why she had managed to survive longer than any of Kylo's other physicians. She chose to ignore their snickers and baleful looks, but she still felt the sting of being subject to unmerited gossip. Gossip that, if she hadn't chosen to escape, would have soon become fact. If she told Poe the truth...would he judge her as harshly as her associates and rivals? _You ran away because you didn't want to live that life anymore. To change..._

Bel thought of her brother, no doubt these bounty hunters were offered a princely sum at his command. The Hux family was no stranger to scandal, but plenty of bastard sons roamed through the Order's ranks. A traitorous daughter on the other hand...one of 'pure breeding' as Snoke had always put it, would be considered dangerous and despicable in the eyes of the higher courts. There was no greater humiliation. Armitage would want retribution. She had no doubt he would see her death through, perhaps even pull the trigger himself. But death wouldn't be enough for him. Nothing was ever enough for the young general. There were rumors, always rumors, circulating about what happened to those who would dare betray The Order. There was talk of being sent off to work camps. Of blacked out rooms in far off planets. Of forced surgical procedures used to create servants out of the unwilling yet still able-bodied. But no one seemed to know which ones were closest to the truth.

The fire hissed as another log disintegrated into ash, sparking a small flutter of embers. Bel was reminded of Kylo's saber, hot and righteous with anger.

 _Kylo..._

Bel's chest quaked. Her brother's wrath was predictable. She understood it. Yet even after years of working closely with Kylo, he was still an ocean to her. There were depths there she never hoped to reach. Others had taken years to delve into. She had attempted to sew up the wounds, both mental and physical, that drove him to such unspeakable acts. But even after gaining his trust, he still kept things from her. No doubt that trust she had built was gone now. If she were to meet with him again, what would he do?

"Well," She said, shaking free of such grim hypotheticals. She cursed herself as her voice shook. Her fear was laid bare now. "Is that what you wanted to know?"

Poe had no answer. His brow jutted down, cutting an angle as sharp as his jawline. Even now, when she could feel his frustration, she was glad it was him who came for her. Who saved her. He was a good man. The first she had known.

"No of course not." She continued, biting down on her lip. "It's funny, when you think about it. "I didn't consider any of this before contacting the Resistance. I just...ran. I don't know what they'll do to me if I'm caught."

She rolled up the bandage and tossed it into the fire, pondering her decision; the weight in her chest expanding. She was close, so close to revealing everything. To let it spill out of her like vomit. Only frayed threads of restraint remained.

"It won't happen."

Bel looked up at Poe, processing his words. His downcast gaze had turned to one of pure determination. She saw the fire again, the burning light that must have driven him every day to plow into dangerous situations without a single shred of self-preservation. "I won't let them take you."

His words stirred something deep inside her, sparking an instinct she had felt before but never acted on. Until now. She lunged up again as if pulled by some invisible string. She grabbed his collar, clinging to him as she pressed her lips to his. She couldn't explain it, but she wanted - no, needed - to do it. Just once. To hold him and feel his arms around her. Even a breath of space between them seemed objectionable.

But even as adrenaline rushed through her veins, she realized exactly ten seconds too late what she had done. Bel pulled away immediately, wide-eyed and flushed. Pinpricks danced over her lips that had only just touched his. Poe looked as surprised as she was with herself.

"Oh! I-I sho-" Bel started. Part of her wanted to flee into the shadows and burrow away. The other part, the stronger part, wanted more. It sang in her head, begging and pleading. _More, more, more_. A taste wasn't enough. It simply wasn't-

Poe's surprise melted away and his gaze turned soft. A puckish grin lightened his face and he reached for her.

"C'mere, Red," He murmured. With one sweeping arm he pulled her up into his lap.

Ecstatic, Bel wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tucked her knees underneath her; breathing a cry of relief. His skin was warm against hers. She could feel his hand at the small of her back, but the touch was light as if he were asking for permission. Bel could only think to tangle her hand in his hair, hoping to goad him along. She wanted this. God, did she want it. Practiced lips touched hers, pulling her in and deepening the kiss. Her lips parted and a delicate, wanton sigh escaped. Bel could taste him now; the musk and alcohol. The scent of him seeped through her. There was something wild about it, untamed. Dangerous and excited. The hand on her back tightened, gripping at the fabric of her shirt. She arched into parted for only a moment and she heard him speak her name. _Bel._

It wasn't even real. Just a word she had picked from the ether, but...it felt right. More so than her given name ever had. She was about to answer him. Call to him. When the front door burst open, pushing in the night winds.

Bel leapt up so quickly she almost teetered back into the fireplace. Her face hot - so hot - she stumbled in her chair, ducking her head.

Snap and Jess barreled in a second later, chattering loudly.

 _Had they been talking before?!_ Bel wondered, hoping and praying that the red in her cheek was vanish. _I didn't...couldn't hear them._

She cast a tentative look at Poe, but instantly regretted it. The smile was still in place. There wasn't a hint of embarrassment or surprise. Just hunger. The same hunger that still bubbled in her stomach and made her heart skip. Her eyes darted back to the fire and she tried to will the color in the face away.

 _What am I..._ Bel thought. _How could I?_

"I think I will take that drink." She said, hoping she sounded aloof.

Poe chuckled and rose from his seat. But instead of fetching a new bottle, he just handed her his. Bel eyed him, but took it.

"I need to shower any way." He said, winking at her. Bel pursed her lips and glared.

"That's for sure." Snap said.

"Really Jess, you couldn't have come alone?" Poe joked, but his gaze was still trained on Bel.

Bel could feel it but she didn't dare look again. Another look and she would be tempted to follow him up the stairs...and straight into the shower.

 _Oh...don't._ She lamented. _Don't start thinking like that._

Her head was spinning so fiercely she thought she might faint. So as Poe climbed the stairs, she excused herself. She stepped out the front door and leaned against the stone railing, running her thumb in circles over the mouth of the bottle.

Cool winds whistled in from the bay. Leaves shook and shuttered in treetops only just visible against the moonless sky. Porch lights lined the road into town; some of them flickering. She could only just make out the shoreline, ships dotting the bay with lights bobbing up and down like candles.

Bel's eyes fluttered to a close. Her head was full and her cheeks still hot. Questions buzzed in her mind, accusing and confounded. What on _earth_ had compelled her to do that?

 _Not that he...seemed to mind._ Bel thought. Her knees quaked as she played the moment through her head again and again. She could still feel his hands on her waist and neck; his touch soft and comforting...before turning into something else. She swallowed hard, her lips peeling apart at the sound of his voice in her mind. _**Come here.**_ His reaction had been so quick, so instantaneous, did he even mean to do it? Did he _really_ want to? Or was he just acting on male instincts?

 _How can I know?_ Bel lamented. _He did smile though, at least I think he did._

Bel's grip on his bottle tightened. She had never been kissed before; never been pulled into someone's arms, never imagined it could be so...so...

She inhaled deeply, trying to calm herself. The cool air helped some. Her eyes fluttered open when something brushed up against her leg. She started and looked down.

"Oh!" Bel said, "H-hello."

It was the droid, BB-8. It chirped three times in succession and even though Bel had no idea what the little thing said, the cadence led her to believe it had asked her a question. She knelt down, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry," She said, softly. "I can't understand you."

BB-8 responded with a small shake of his head.

"But you can understand me?"

It chirped brightly in response. _Yes_.

A smile twitched at the corner of her mouth.

"You're a lucky little thing you know." She said "To have a buddy like him."

BB-8 rolled forward, nudging her knee with his head.

"He's warning you," Came a voice from the doorway.

Bel straightened up. Jess Pava was there, leaning against the threshold and watching the one sided exchanged with clear amusement. BB-8 pitched its head forward and then back. A nod.

"Perhaps you can translate," Bel said sheepishly.

Jessica smiled, but addressed the droid first. "He's looking for you."

With a curt beep, BB-8 rolled into the house. Bel was almost sorry to see it go, leaving her alone with a member of the resistance.

"You could search the whole galaxy a thousand times over," Jess said, watching the droid go. "But you won't find a more loyal droid"

Bel returned her gaze to the skyline, now almost completely black.

"I can see why." She ventured.

She could feel Jess's eye on her. Searching, assessing. Bel wondered off hand if Poe had asked it of her.

"He has faith you," Jess said, finally. But there was hesitation in her voice. Whether it was because she didn't believe in it, or because she didn't want to reveal it, Bel couldn't be sure.

What this a test? She didn't want to be so weary of his friends, his colleagues. But past experiences, her only experiences, demanded it of her. She could never be sure of people's intentions; even if they spelled them out.

"Does he," Bel said. She had meant it as a question, but her doubts swallowed it up. Even to her own ear she sounded listless.

"It takes courage." Jess continued, resting her forearms against the clay railing. "To do what you did."

Bel huffed a laugh. "Some would argue the opposite."

Only then did Bel dare to face Jess. She too was looking out on the bay. Bel could sense a similar exhaustion in her. An unease. But she hid it well. Bel lifted the bottle to her lips and let its contents drain down her throat.

"I feel like I've cut off a limb." She admitted. The truth of it fell away, releasing a weight she had been carrying since she had thoughtlessly barreled into the snow. "I have nothing now. No home to go to, no one to take me in. I'm...lost."

Jess's gaze turned thoughtful.

"You have Poe," She said simply.

The rosy tint returned to Bel's face. She turned her head forward, heart hammering in her through. _Had she seen?!_ Even if she hadn't Bel could see that Jess was more observant than the others. Perhaps she had walked in on Poe before or at least knew enough about him to sense what had happened without having witnessed it.

"W-what?" Bel stuttered.

Jess smiled warmly.

"I've been flying since I was six," she said, after a beat. "With my mother and brothers. With the Republic. I didn't meet Poe until I was an established pilot. After flying one mission with him...it felt as though I'd known him my whole life."

She took a swig from her own drink.

"He does that to people," She continued. "He has this way of taking them in, no questions asked. That trust...that confidence he has in people. It saves. I've seen it...time and again."

Bel listened in silence, eyes trained on the black water far below them.

"And after all these years," Jess said, after a beat. "He's never been wrong."

The chill night air sunk into Bel's skin. Words unsaid floated through her mind. Ice blue eyes met deep brown ones. Bel tilted her chin up, adopting the rigid stance that came all to naturally to her. She knew what she was to these people. What Poe had seen her as.

She offered Jess a small smile and said smoothly, "How fortunate you are, to have him as a friend."

Jess returned the smile, but Bel could feel the wall again. The separation.

 _You are who you are._ She thought. _If you're to move on...you just need to accept that first and earn their trust._

"It's getting cold," Jess said. "Shall we go in?"

Bel nodded and made to follow her. Before passing through the threshold, she cast a glance over her shoulder. The water had gone completely still now as if in preparation. As if it knew that tomorrow they would be inciting chaos on its shores in hopes of a miraculous escape.

* * *

Thank you all for reading! I'm balancing a lot of fics at the moment and this one may not be updated for a couple of months, but I have every intention of finishing part 1 before The Last Jedi comes out in December! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10

Jesus H, I never imagined the Last Jedi could be so intense! I have a lot of feelings about it, but the good news is...it honestly works out great for this fic. I can take it to a place I hadn't imagined at the start and that makes me crazy excited! Thank you all for reading and favoriting and coming back for more. It means the world. Or galaxy, I guess. ;0)

* * *

 **Surrender.**

Sleep eluded Bel that night. At first, it was because fear gnawed at her every thought. She had built a career on taking equal stock in both preparation and apprehension. Analyzing each impending disaster and ensuring that her team was ready for it. She wanted to trust Poe and his comrades, but even they had admitted that their plan was risky. With Bounty Hunters and troopers alike to contend with, it would be a miracle if they could manage to escape the planet. And even if they did, it was no guarantee that they would make it to the rebel base.

Guilt, an old but familiar bedfellow, reared its ugly head, too. Bel couldn't help but wonder why they didn't simply force the information from her and leave her to be captured. It certainly was the most efficient option. And yet, as far as she knew, it had never come up.

Bel rolled over, the small bed creaking underneath her. She turned her eyes to the window that sat adjacent to her desperately seeking distraction. It was wounding to think of such things. Trust was all she had. She couldn't abandon it, even under the scrutiny of logic.

The small cloth that had been hung in front of the window dancing lazily in the night air. Beyond it, she could see vague outlines of trees and hear the steady lapping of waves against the quiet shore. Her eyes blinked shut and she tried in earnest to focus on the sound.

 _You are here. On this strange planet...with these strange people. It's all real._

The mantra seemed absurd even now. It wasn't often that she allowed herself to dream of such a place while trapped inside the dark caverns of the unknown planets. And even when she did, she had never imagined this. Tiny planets where life flourished and people thrived. The smells and sights of a natural world, untouched by machinery and greed. Bel couldn't believe such places still existed.

 _When this is over..._ she thought as a yawn overtook her. _Maybe I'll come back to this place._

Her eyes, heavy as stone, fell shut. And she was lost to sleep finally. Lulled by the waves.

As the night wore on and clouds lazed through the sky, the darkness was penetrated by the pearly gleam of the planet's small moon. It cast silent light across the small bay hub, searing through the cloth that covered the window. Her reedy body was draped across it, still as a stone statue. Her mind, however, was stirring.

A dream. Somehow she knew. She was no longer in the house on the hill. But back in that dilapidating cabin, laying on the half-broke bed bathed in light from the moon above that peered down from the hole in the ceiling like an eavesdropper. And there across from her, was Poe. Looking healthier than she had ever seen him. His hair was disheveled, Bel was starting to think she prefered it the way. The curls were so pleasant when tousled, her fingers itched to run through them again. The scar at the turn of his forehead had vanished. He looked...relaxed. As if he'd just woken from a deep and peaceful sleep.

"Hey, Red." He said, rubbing at one tired eye. A lazy smile grew across his face and Bel could feel the rosy blush return. The bed felt different in this dream, the walls between them were gone. Yet Bel's anxiety clung to her, it's grip vice-like even in sleep.

"If we don't make it-" The words were out before she could stop them.

"Ah," Poe said, his smile growing. He turned over onto his side, hitching his chin on one curled fist. "What did I say about what ifs?"

Bel scoffed but mimicked the move, wrapping her arm around the deflated pillow that lay under her head and tucking it in closer.

She opened her mouth, ready to spout a biting retort but nothing came to mind. Even in her dreams he knew exactly which of her exposed nerves to pluck.

"That you don't deal in them." She conceded, fighting to contain a tired smirk.

"So...?" Poe said.

Bel wanted to turn away, but his gaze pulled her in. His eyes were brimming, pleading with her to just let go and speak honestly again as she had in the hot spring.

"I'm scared." Bel said finally. "I think I've been scared my whole life."

"Of what?"

"Of standing out." She said, casting her gaze down. "Failing. Of...dying for a cause I don't believe in."

Tears began to pool in the corner of her eyes.

"Of stepping into the light," She continued. "And letting people see me, for who I am. Whoever that is."

It was easier to hide in shadow. This she knew. There wasn't a soul in the First Order that didn't have something to hide. Pride or shame. Fear or madness. She had been stripped down yes, nearly drowned and starved. Shot at and electrocuted. And all in a matter of days. If she continued on this path, she would have to reveal more of herself. Entrust herself to people other than Poe. The thought terrified her.

"You were right," She said, "I am a coward."

"Hey, hey," Poe said, pulling closer to her. His hand found her cheek, cupping the side of her face, thumb running under her eye to wipe away tear that had managed to escape.

"It doesn't matter what you _were_." He said. "What you want to be now, that's all that matters."

Bel considered his words. What did she want? To be free, yes. But beyond that? To continue her work, to care for people. Heal them. And…

"I want-," She swallowed the rest of the words down. They were too unscrupulous. She dared to look at him again and cursed to herself. He was like a magnet, constantly drawing her in. Turning her stomach and distracting her from her every thought. Her lips parted and she leaned closer to him.

As if he could read her mind, his hand left her face and drifted down around the curve of her shoulder. Her breath hitched and she waited, poised for what she wasn't sure.

"Bel," He said, gripping her waist and pulling her against him.

A sharp sigh escaped her as his lips met her jaw, snaking down and up again until they reached her ear.

"It's funny," He whispered, lips turning up in a smile against her neck. "After all that's happened. Everything I thought would come of this war…"

His lips moved down to her collarbone, "I never expected you,"

* * *

Bel jolted awake, a wanton sigh trapped in her throat. She slapped a hand across her mouth certain that, in the stillness that permeated through every part of her room, someone would hear her. She let it loose, feeling her chest rumble with the satisfaction of release. Breathing swiftly in and out, she rubbed at the sweat gathering on her forehead and sat up. As he feet hit the floor, her head swayed like a sheet in wind and she fought the urge to fall back into bed. Heat flooded from her skin like ripples in a pond, evaporating like steam until she was left with a chill that shook through to her bones. She could still feel them, his hands against her skin. At the curve of her hips, her collar bone, her stomach still alight with butterflies. Lingering, too warm and too real.

 _Except it's not real._ She argued to herself. _None of it._

She looked towards the window where new light bloomed. Morning, it had come so quickly. The sun, shielded by a thin bank of blue-gray fog, tipped over the horizon, bathing the small bay town in a soft and airy light. Dew kicked up the smell of salt as the waves, now small and nearly silent, drifted up and down the black sand shore so slowly, it was as if they were still waking themselves.

Bel moved quietly through the house, her boots clutched tightly in one hand. As far as she could tell, she was the first to wake. She wafted into the kitchen like some ghostly passer-by and rummaged around until she found a basket of strange looking fruits. Grabbing two of them, she slipped through the communal room and made her way towards the front door. She could still smell the remnants of last nights fire and a small pile of embers still glowed against the ashy film that littered the hearth. She turned her eyes away from it, her cheeks heating as she remembered what had only just transpired there. She had never been kissed before, never even thought of it really. There was no time, no opportunity...no man that so sparked such a reaction from the heart she had spent her life protecting. None of them had seemed worth the trouble.

 _He's worth more of it than all of it combined_ , She thought, sardonically.

She leaned her arms against the railing of the porch, letting the sea breeze coax her awake and bit into her breakfast. Her teeth pierced the skin of it with a satisfying crunch. Tangy juices coating her tongue and soothed her grumbly stomach. Bel tried to push away the thought that this could be the last of her meals, joints jittery as she turned the fruit in her fingers over and over again. She could see the ocean far down the hillside, waves languidly breaching the shore. She turned her eyes up towards the sky, leaning over the sink to better her view. A thin film of fog covered all. The sun, like a glowing white pearl, sat low in the sky; its day only just begun. Bel's eyes lilted shut as she took in the smells of sea salt and the early morning market foods. She bit into the fruit again, teeth pulling off a much larger piece this time.

"Good morning."

Bel whirled to see Poe leaning in the doorway. It seemed he too had raided one of the upstairs closets. He sported a new jacket of deep gray, each shoulder bearing a resistance patch of vibrant orange. His hair was mussed from sleep; slick dark curls turning every which way. The stubble lining his jaw was more prominent now and there were circles pooling like shadows underneath his eyes. As flashes of her dream flickered unbidden in her mind's eye Bel, thankful she had a mouthful of fruit to contend with, swallowed hard.

"Couldn't sleep?" she said, turning back to the seascape.

"Not really, no." Poe said, he stepped up the ledge beside her and leaned against it.

Bel stiffened and looked bashfully down at the uneaten fruit she had placed on the ledge, she grabbed it and held it out to him.

Poe looked down at it and then, with what Bel was coming to realize was his trademark smile, said, "Thanks."

He took it from her, the pads of his fingers scraping against hers. Bel could feel the flush beginning to creep back into her cheeks. She nodded and lifted the fruit to her mouth, trying and failing to distract herself. Her eyes had plans of their own. Glancing over against her better judgment, they raked over his rough hewn profile. He seemed the same, just as in her dream. Except the scar was there still, dully pale in the encroaching daylight.

She heard herself say, "What are our chances?" and breathed easier knowing such a potent distraction was so close at hand.

Poe bit into the fruit before posing an answer, then said with a mouthful: "A smart man once told me to chuck the odds."

Bel, caught by surprise, huffed a laugh. She stepped backwards, lowering herself down onto a low wooden bench that sat to the right of the door. She bent down, pulling one boot on and then the other.

"A smart man?" She repeated, unable to contain her disbelief, as she worked the laces.

Poe turned round, leaning his back against the wall, his eyes were trained on the fruit he spun in his hand. A full minute passed before he spoke again. The casual smile was there, but as the silence lengthened, it began to fade. A stern, almost confused look overtook his face.

"Bel," Poe started, unease tinging his voice. Bel's heart ratcheted up in pace, but she kept her face cooly clear as she looked up at him.

Before he could speak again, the door next to her flew open and BB-8 passed below the threshold trilling excitedly.

"Hey buddy," Poe said, kneeling down and rubbing a hand on the droid's round head. BB-8 emitted a series of beeps and whirs.

"Oh yeah?" Poe said, before rising to his feet. "Alright."

He looked to Bel, an apology flashing in his eyes. "Giles has some ammunition for us."

"O-Oh," Bel stuttered, lamely. "Okay."

Poe stepped around BB-8 and headed for the door. As he went to pass her, Bel's hand shot out and grabbed at the hem of his jacket.

"Wait-I," Bel said, baffling herself. _If you don't ask now…_

"I mean…" She continued. "What was it that you were going to say just now."

"Just that…" Poe said, looked down. The casual smile returned, buffeted by the same roguish sway that had floored her in the woods. "Well, I've done a lot of missions and...my parents taught me always prepare for the worst. But-"

He stopped, his hand lifting into the air. For a moment, Bel though he meant to touch her face and she jolted back a step. But it went to his hair, pushing it back as he struggled to find the proper words.

"Well," he said, smile widening. "I never expected you."

He stepped through the door, Bel's ears ringing as he left her behind. All the air in her lungs left in a huff and she stumbled forward, turning towards the wind to wipe away the remnants of the dream which tugged at her consciousness, begging for her attention. For what came next…

But she wasn't alone. The little droid remained behind and trilled three times, it's black eye targeting her. Bel didn't hear it. She leaned against the ledge, one arm draped against it while the other drifted. She touched her fingers to her bottom lip, allowing herself a single second of indulgence. Her eyes grazed across the landscape, taking in the lush green trees so vibrant in color that they seemed to brim with life. As they trailed to the ground, taking in the rust colored stone beneath layers of brushy foliage and dirt they found something new. Something that shattered her growing excitement, like a fist through glass. The hope that had been building in her since her escape was sapped away, leaving her bone dry and colder than ice.

A man stood at the edge of the forest, some thirty feet away. It was Davos Lin. The bounty hunter Poe had recognized the day before.

His eyes, dark like the waters down below, were trained on her. He didn't move, his hulking form well hidden in the lengths of shadows supplied in mass by the towering, gangly confiers. On his face, etched like stone, a satisfied smile. A predator that had found its prey.

Bel's mind screamed at her to run, to alert Poe and the others but she couldn't move. He lifted one hand and his fingers curled up. Once. Then Twice more. Bel jolted when she realized he was calling to her.

Down below, BB-8 tried a new tactic, rolling into her leg. Bel gasped, looking down even as her heart crawled up into her throat.

"Bu-" She started, the cogs in her mind finally ratcheting to life. "BB-8…There's-"

She stopped, realizing that the little droid couldn't possibly see what she had due to the height of the railing.

 _If I say anything..._ She thought. She looked out again, lips curling back as she realized that Lin was not alone. His two mates, both scaly and yellow eyed stood near, large blasters clutched tightly in their three fingered hands. _...With Poe and Giles down below. And the others I don't know where._

It was an ambush. That much was clear. Bel looked down to BB-8 again, it's head was cocked to one side as if meaning to pose a question.

Bel expected fear to come, but instinct leapt up to meet it and she was overrun with the only thing that had saved her in years passed. Pride...and anger. Waves of flame licked through her insides. She couldn't - no wouldn't - allow herself to be taken so easily. To be caught off guard. If her brother heard such a tale, she would have to endure the slimy blue of his eyes gleefully mocking her failure.

She looked towards Lin and deftly nodded her head once and then lowered herself down into a crouch.

"BB-8," She said, trying to sound sweet. "Stay here...please. _Don't_ move."

The droids head tilted further down before a new string of beeps echoed around her. Bel just rose to her feet, hoping that the little thing understood. Bel looked over her shoulder and grabbed the cloak she had swiped from the closet. She pulled it around her shoulders. It was far too short for her, the hem falling just passed her knees, but the dark color returned more of her confidence.

 _He's just a man._ She thought. _Greedy and easily bought. You've dealt with far worse._

"I'll be right back," She said, her eyes fixed once more on Lin.

Slowly and silently, she descended the steps of the clay porch, one hand clutching at the railing. She paused when her boots hit the dusty ground and pulled her hair up, fixing it into a tucked bun at the top of her head. With each step her feet grew heavier, until she was certain she would sink through the earth.

"Hello there, Lieutenant Hux." Lin sneered, revealing a set of smoke-rotted teeth.

"Tell me," Bel said, unblinking as steel coated her every word. She dared a glance back at the house on the hill. At the smoke rising from the chimney of the happy home, where only just last night laughter had been leaking from every crack and crevice. "How many of you are there?"

Lin chuckled, leaning against one spindly tree. He picked at his thumbnail, his arm folding back to reveal a blaster strapped at his side. No doubt he had several more still concealed. "A dozen 'r so, I'd imagine."

Bel's lips came together in a thin line. Unbidden, Poe's voice came to her with the words he had spoken in the dream.

 _It doesn't matter who you were._

"If I agree to come with you," Bel continued, her voice belying none of the fear that was ravaging her system. "Will you promise to leave the house and everyone in it unbothered and unharmed."

Lin choked on a laugh. "Don't think you're in any position to bargain, _kostyiak_ ". Bel couldn't pinpoint the language, but the sentiment behind the word was clear. "The First Order isn't just paying me for you."

Bel's lips folded into a frown. She tilted her chin up, her entire body morphing into that of the officer. She was ice and smoke, unyielding and (something.)

"You'll get your money," Bel bit back. "And more, if you comply."

Davos Lin looked her up and down, his grisled visage unable to hide the hunger that stirred in his gut at the promise of a bigger pay off. "How's that, then?"

Bel allowed her smile to return. It was a mask . She may have loathed her brother his hubris, but she couldn't deny that it was a trait that ran steady through the Hux bloodline and had served her well in times of duress.

"I am...was an officer in the First Order." She continued keenly. "My funds won't be accessed until sentencing."

"How much are you willing to part with, kostyiak?" He asked, lazily.

"All of it," Bel answered without hesitation.

She lifted her hand to him. He regarded it crossly.

"I'm supposed to report on The Resistance fighters." He said, nodding his head towards the house.

Bel scoffed. "And what, you can't _lie_ _for money_?"

He stared at her blankly. Bel wondered if he truly couldn't fathom a story or if he was confused by her question.

She sighed sharply. "Right, when you found me I was wandering the markets trying to bargain for passage off the planet. The resistance fighters had already pressed me for information and abandoned me once they had what they needed. Is that so hard?"

Lin growled, but before he could protest Bel held out her hand.

"Do we have a deal?"

He looked down at it for only a moment before pushing up off the tree and slapping his own to hers. Bel cringed and she weaseled out of his grasp, easily done as his calloused hand was oily with sweat. At least, she hoped that's what it was.

"Good," She said succinctly as she pointedly wiped her hand against her cloak. "If you'll allow me just two minutes."

"You think I'm some kind of-"

"Do you want the money?" Bel said, her voice slick as silk as it shot through his bluster, maiming it. "...Or should I scream now and make this all the more difficult?"

He opened his mouth as if to confirm the latter option, but paused seemingly to weigh his chances.

"Very well," Lin said gruffly, crossing one arm over the other. "Two minutes...and counting."

Bel didn't wait. There was no time to test his honor (or lack thereof). She spun and bounded up the hill, boots falling heavy under the verdant soil. Her heart was pounding, blocking out all other sounds save for her breathing.

As she rounded to the wooden stairs, BB-8 tipped forward. Bel lifted her hands, but it was too late.

"No, no!" Bel hissed as the little droid began to trill wildly, recognizing the man below. "Be quiet!"

She dived down, her knees landing on the final step so that she could meet this droid at eye level.

"Please don't-" She whispered, breathless. "I'm going to go with him I-"

Her words caught BB-8's attention and the beeps came to a sudden stop.

Bel took a moment to catch her breath and gingerly she lifted one hand.

"BB-8" She said, before slowly placing it down on the curve just next to the droid's head piece. BB-8's eyes swivelled down to it and then back up to her face, emitting a single curious deep. "There's too many of them...If we try to escape the planet now, Poe and the others could die and all the effort that's already been extended will be for nothing."

BB-8 proffered a response, but Bel shook her head. The droid's head tilted and Bel could distinctly hear the electric whir of it's black eye focusing in on her.

"Can you take a message for me?" She asked.

The droid waited a beat and then knocked it's head from one side to the other and rolled backwards, heading towards the door.

"Wait!" Bel called reaching out to him.

"For Poe, then." She tried, desperate. "For the mission."

The droid stopped.

"Please, I-" She begged. "I already saved his life once, I'd hate to have to do it again."

Somewhat hesitant, BB-8's head piece spun around and it's body followed suit. Bel breathed a sigh of relief as it approached. A small hatch at his side popped open. Inside sat a small silver device.

 _A recorder_. Bel realized. She lifted it out and clutched it tightly in her hand. In string of quick whispers, Bel began to rattle off everything she knew. Specs of the Supreme Leaders ship, the planets the First Order occupied in the Unknown Regions, the bases that had been abandoned and those that acted as a hub for new tech and weaponry.

"...General Organa," She said, nearly out of breath as she came to the end of it all. "I-I wish I could have met you. Your trust in me, it brought me far. I can go back knowing that your pilot is safe and will live to fight on…"

Bel swallowed, trying to gather her words.

"I-I've known for son for some time and I want you to know, that he has struggled to relinquish himself to the dark side. I hope...hope you can take some comfort in that. Thank you, for everything."

Shaking like a leaf, Bel clicked the button again and held the recorder out to BB-8. A small two-pronged claw met her hand and snapped up the recorded.

Bel rose to her feet again.

"You'll be sure to tell Poe _after_ I've gone." She said, the (something) for a promise lacing through her words.

The droid beeped softly three times. Bel hadn't a clue what it said, but she sensed contention in the tone.

"Please," She implored, fixing the little bugger with an icy sharp stare. "He'll try to stop me and...well, you know what could happen."

The droid rolled back a bit, the beeps hitching up in volume and pace.

"I-I know." Bel tried, even though she wasn't sure what argument the droid was attempting to pose. "But...I'm not worth it. You have the information. If I go with them, the hunters will leave and Poe can complete the mission. Alright? That's...that's all that matters here. That's all you came to do."

Bel didn't wait for a response.

"Well," She said, bushing a stray hair back "Goodbye then."

She didn't allow for another second. Even half of one could be her undoing. She could feel the threads that held her together were fraying. Soon they would break entirely. She descended the steps as quick as the wind, the folds of the cloak flaying wide behind her like a shadow.

* * *

"This way," Lin ordered, his voice like gravel scraping under the toe of a boot. He caught hold of her shoulder and pulled her along. They rounded behind the last of the market buildings where a small but speedy looking ship was waiting.

Bel's heart skipped, pumping blood laced with debilitating numbness through her system. She concentrated instead on the sound of her boots crunching under her. Her heels sank into the dirt as instinct made a single, last ditch effort to put a stop to her current coarse. Survival. It had been her only ally in times passed. And now she was willingly betraying it.

"Ah," Lin said, his grip tightening. "Too late for that."

He snapped his fingers and one of his mates appeared at Bel's vacant side. Her eyes blinked shut as cold metal closed around her wrists, locking them in front of her.

"Load her into holding while I contact the First Order," Lin barked. The creature mumbled in response, it's barbarous hand encircling her forearm and dragging her forward. Bel stumbled behind it as her mind folded in on itself.

 _This is it,_ She thought as they approached the ships landing. _I-_

A shot rang out and a flash of red overtook her vision. It was followed quickly by a piercing howl and the hand on Bel's shoulder fell away. Bel followed the sound. The hunter lay on the ground, shuttering as a blaster wound burned a fiery circle just under it's right breathed for the first time in minutes, her head flinging around to the direction of the shot. Poe leapt out from behind a crop of vegetation. Blaster in hand.

"Dameron!" She shouted, gaping as he raced towards her. His boots slid on the gravel as he got within range, fisting her cloak in one hand.

"Bel!" He hissed, "Or should I say idiot."

"Oh, _I'm_ the idiot!" Bel bit back, aghast. "What are you doing here?"

Poe, incredulous, tugged on the cloak tried to pull her along. "BB-8 said that-"

"Oh!" Bel cursed. "That stupid little-"

"Hey you leave-"

The voice of Davos Lin rang across the landing, stopping Bel and Poe in their tracks. "Stop!"

Poe spun around, trying to push Bel behind him but she held her ground.

"No!" She hissed. "You have to let me do this. If I stay with you, you won't make it to the resistance base without being discovered! Take the information back to General Leia. Complete the mission-"

"Not without you." Poe spat, leaning back into her as Lin and his cronies shifted closer.

"Why?!" Bel shouted.

Poe, with careless aim, fired four shots at the ground kicking up a spray of dust. He grabbed Bel's collar and dove for the ground.

"Because-" He started, as a barrage of shots flew over their heads.

A different hand caught hold of Bel's hair and pulled her up. Needle-sharp pain erupted in her head as Poe's grip on her fell away. She reached out for him, eyes stinging as dust flew around them. He heard him grunt. Two more hands joined the first and she was forced down onto her knees, one hand clutching the back of her neck and pushing her head down.

As the dust cleared, Bel cursed. They were surrounded by a throng of troopers. At least fifteen of them.

She looked to Poe as his blaster was wrestled from his hands and he too was restrained.

Three of the troopers fell back to make room for a pale man. His face was angular, his upper lip sporting a small gash that he wore like a badge of honor. The cleft in his chin was as severe as his gaze. Bel recognized him instantly, even though the dust obscured her vision.

"Captain Opan," Bel spat. The trooper that held onto neck tugged her up and then released his grip, causing her to lose her balance and crumple to the ground. Bel coughed, inhaling a wave of dirt, but pushed herself back up. "Can't say I'm pleased to see you,"

The officer only sneered, surveying his two captives with a predatory smugness. He stepped forward and fell down onto one knee. Bel could sense Poe beside her, desperately trying to get loose of the troopers.

The captain reached out and tucked a stray hair back behind Bel's ear.

"Disgraceful...best tidy up, Lieutenant." He said, "He's waiting for you."

* * *

Phew! One more chapter to go before I get to the events of Episode 8! And...makes me sad we have to wait until 2019 for more. T . T

Thank you for reading and I would love to hear from you! Until next time...


	11. Chapter 11

Well, I am still reeling from seeing The Last Jedi (in both good and bad ways). Bad, because some of it felt odd to me even though as a whole I like it. Good - well GREAT actually - because I get to take this story exactly where I was hoping to take it. In fact, Bel can now slide seamlessly into the story while still maintaining her own agency and focus and I am so excited to share it with you all! I think I said that last time actually...Anyway, I've rambled enough. Thank you as always for reading and reviewing!

* * *

 **Castigation.**

The carrier ship jolted as they departed Craas, rocked by turbulence as the aging tech waged and withered against the pressures of the planet's gravity. Bel's head sank down and she wove her fingers together, resting her forehead on her clenched fists.

 _My fault._ She thought, guilt slicing through her only to linger like an old wound. _All my fault._

Poe sat across from her, flanked on either side by armed troopers just as she was. He sat straight, maddeningly calm, his eyes trained on her with an intense expression she was too frightened to read clearly. That familiar spark wavered like embers in his eyes, trying to tell her something. But try as she might, Bel couldn't read it. Her focus was scattered. She could feel Captain Opan's eyes on her as well. Watching. Waiting to report anything he gleaned from her to Armitage.

 _Which means I need to be careful._ She thought. _If he thinks...if he figures out that I care what happens to Poe, it will be all the worse for him._

Bel's nostrils flared and she straightened, crossing one leg over the other in an attempt to mirror his casual stance. It wasn't difficult to pretend. She was angry with Poe, more so than ever before.

 _Why'd he have to do it? Play the hero…_ She wondered. _As if he had to rescue me...as if...as if cared, too._

Her befuddlement was short lived. The troopers radios sounded in unison. They were making their landing. Bel kept her eyes on Poe, her glare unintentionally sharpened as her fear ratcheted up. As the hatch fell open with a hiss and a quickly dissipating cloud of steam, he mouthed to her. But before he could finish he was hauled upwards by the troopers and dragged down into the belly of the _Exalt_.

* * *

Poe's eyes darted around the hanger, quickly making count of the number of ships and troopers as he was led down the hatch. It was a smaller destroyer and Poe was surprised to see a familiar but bygone insignia plastered on several of the ships: the symbol of the Old Empire.

 _So it's a model from the last war._ Poe thought, wondering if there was some way he could use this revelation to his advantage in launching a successful escape. The troopers guiding him halted at the bottom of the landing, pulling him to the side so as to fall in line with a handful of soldiers that stood waiting.

 _Strange._ Poe thought, tilting his head forward as lightly as he could manage without drawing the ire of his captors. _There's so few of them. 20...30...maybe three dozen at most._

He could remember his last time on such a ship. The halls, the hanger, every open space was swimming with armed soldiers. But this welcoming party felt practically anemic. Was this all that was left from the attack on the StarKiller base?

The soldiers flanking him went still and Poe followed their gaze to the mouth of the carrier. The officer, Captain Opan Bel had called him, descended first - a satisfied smile playing at his pinched mouth. Bel, and a tight escort of troopers, followed behind. A grin sprouted on Poe's lips, the mixture of pride and amusement he felt too strong to reign in. She had adopted a mask of placid dignity, regarding the gathered soldiers with an air akin to boredom. A tactic that would surely rattle her former compatriots.

But before she could step down into the hanger the trooper to her left swung his leg out, his boot catching hers. Bel stumbled, slamming face down into the sleek obsidian floor. She was caught entirely off guard, pain radiating through her nose and teeth through the force of the impact. It took every muscle in her body to fully repress the groan that threatened to burst from her mouth as blood, sticky and hot, pooled like magma on her tongue. Far off she thought she could hear the static voice of one of the troopers commanding her to get up, but her head swam and limited her movements to slow and dizzying pace. Suddenly a boot connected with her stomach, knocking the air from her lungs.

"Hey!" Poe shouted, grappling to get free of the troopers that still had hold of his locked arms. Bel coughed, blood spattering across the floor below her. Poe doubled his efforts, almost managing to break free before a third trooper joined in the row and he was forced down onto his knees. He felt the jab of a blaster barrel at his forehead, pressing painfully against the still healing scar that rest just above his browline. Adrenaline waned out of him as Bel was dragged up to her knees. Blood spilled from her nose, dribbling down to her chin and staining her upper lip. She shook her head from side to side, panting as she gulped down air like water.

"Traitorous scum," One of the troopers muttered, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder.

Bel turned to Poe, her eyes wide and wet. _I'm sorry._ She mouthed. If she had just stayed, if she hadn't been so stupidly reckless. He wouldn't be here.

"Enough," Capitan Opan said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Lieutenant Vale!"

The line of troopers behind him parted at the center, revealing the small form of Bel's former subordinate.

"Inej," Bel said caustically, "Of course…"

Inej Vale's beady, black eyes narrowed as a sickly sneer spread across her face.

"You will address me as Lieutenant now," She said, her voice slick as the floors below. "Or has your little excursion already cost you what little decorum you managed to cull from your brother?"

Unruffled, Bel's lips peeled back into a smile of her own, the spaces between her teeth stained with blood.

"A promotion?" Bel said, poorly feigning surprise she did not feel. "Already hung up on titles, are you? You must realize how tenuous your position has become. Nowhere to go but down now…"

Inej's smile faltered, her eyes turning to piercing slits.

A new voice sounded from behind the troopers, "Don't waste your time, Lieutenant. I think it's fair to say she never had any decorum to begin with."

Officers and soldiers alike stiffened, turning their backs on Bel altogether to address the arrival of their superior, General Armitage Hux.

Bel cursed aloud.

Poe's disappointment to see that the General had survived the destruction of the StarKiller planet was sidelined as his gaze jumped between Hux and Bel. He gaped, realization slamming through him like a blaster shot.

 _She's...a Hux?!_

Though Bel's hair and complexion were fairer in comparison, they shared the same angular features, shocking blue eyes and reedy, pin-straight posture. The resemblances were too uncanny to be anything but familial.

"Well, Serana." Hux drawled, hands clenched behind his back. "You always did lean towards the dramatic, but even I never thought you were capable of something to blatantly puerile."

Bel couldn't help but snort. The very idea that _she_ was the dramatic one...as if her brother hadn't clawed his way to the top through series of betrayals and blatantly avaricious posturing.

 _Serana..._ Poe thought. He had wanted to know her real name, never believing even from the start that the one she had given him was true. _But not like this..._

"We all have our misgivings," Bel said coolly. "How unfortunate that yours seem to number in the thousands."

Her brothers noxious face flushed to a sickly scarlet. His faithful captain opened his mouth to chastise her, but Armitage held his hand up. Slowly he stepped towards her and then, surprising everyone, crouched down before her, forcing shallow breaths in and out of his pockmarked nose.

Bel blinked. He was silent for a moment, even though his lips twitched like perstering worms. Bel knew he was anxious to unload on her, to wail and whine about the shame she had brought to the family. But Armitage wasn't a complete fool. He wouldn't do so surrounded by his men and risk giving them additional fodder for gossip. Bel's lips parted, ready to goad him further but his fist collided with her face, sending her reeling to the side.

She would have collided once more with the ground if not for the trooper that held tightly to her shoulder. The blow itself had not been a strong one, but pain ripped through her mouth as the garish ring he wore (one bearing their family crest) sliced through her upper lip. Inky blotches popped across her eyes, marring her vision. She looked up, blue eyes burning as bright as a sabers.

 _There it is._ She thought, rage flitting through her at the sight of her brothers baleful smile. It marred his face like a scar and was so like their fathers, Bel wanted to vomit. She inhaled through her nose, returning air to her bruised lungs and allowed a half cocked smile to spread over her face. Just as she had hoped, her brother's smug composure faltered.

"That's all?" She chuckled, drawing the blood that flooded her mouth into a pool on her tongue. She spat, her aim mercifully true, hitting the toe of his boot. He leapt back as if he had been targeted by a blaster, colliding with Captain Opan and nearly falling to the ground in a heap.

"How does it feel, Armitage?" Her voice was thick, words slurring slightly as her head began to throb in earnest. "...to know your own soldiers could beat _you_ senseless if given half a chance?"

The troopers, stunned, all turned towards their master. A heady silence hung in the air as Armitage's features morphed into unabashed rage.

"Vale," He called shrilly. "Has the operating room been prepped?"

Bel froze, her vindication vanishing as a violent shiver snaked through Bel's spine.

 _Operating room?_

Inej smiled, her dark eyes trained on Bel with a spark of insidious glee. "Yes, General. All is as you requested."

"Very good." Her brother said, the grating smile returning. He glanced down at Bel and then tilted up to address his soldiers. "An effective punishment can only be measured by the depth of the lesson it means to teach."

Bel scoffed, her eyes rolling back even as her heart thrummed with worry. _Just what the hell is he talking about? They don't mean to punish me, the only acceptable sentence for treason is death._

Her brother's eyes shifted to her again. She met his gaze and an icy bridge formed between them. All of their surroundings fell away and they were left alone.

"You think I mean to orchestrate your death, Serana?" Hux said. "No, that would be too easy. Too quick."

Bel's shields crumbled. She had seen that look only once before, only hours before he father was reported dead under suspicious circumstances. Hux turned back to Inej and their surroundings flooded back to clarity.

"I trust you can ready the patient while I deal with the pilot." He said.

The slit of a smile grew wider as Inej nodded. "Nothing would bring me more pleasure, sir."

Without a word, her brother turned and left accompanied by his guard and a small handful of troopers. As the herd of white-clad soldiers dissipated, Bel whirled to Poe who grunted as the troopers wrestled him back up to his feet and forced him forward.

"No..." She breathed. Her mind was a storm, panic riling her senses like a heady wind. "Stop!"

She was pulled up as well, her feet heavy weights underneath her as Inej stepped forward. She wanted desperately to call out to Poe, but she fought the temptation.

 _Don't do it. Don't make things worse for him._

"Officer Kolbek," Inej called, flinging her hand backwards and pulling Bel's attention back to her.

Bel looked over Inej's shoulder to see Amaris standing with the rest of her former team. Amaris jumped at Inej's shrill command but didn't move to answer her. Bel locked eyes with the young woman, silently pleading.

"Well?" Inej snapped, her voice cracking like a whip as she fixed Amaris with a fiery glare. "You heard the General."

Amaris gulped and looked to her peers, but none chose to meet her gaze or even dared to move.

"Or would you like to join her?" Inej pressed, tossing her head back towards Bel.

Amaris shook her head and stepped forward passing off a prepped syringe. Bel's stomach turned over.

"What is this?" She heard herself say. "Amaris?"

She looked towards her team, but they dodged her eye; shame and nerves wrestling once another just beneath the veils of deference.

Bel's attention was torn away once more as she heard Poe cry out. She craned her head around, eyes searching for him. His name was poised on her tongue but the cry fizzled away as cold metal pierced through the skin at the curve of her neck. Bel hissed, jolting in the grip of the troopers. Her head tipped backwards, a small trickle of blood sliding down her throat as Inej fed the serum into Bel's veins.

With frightening swiftness, Bel felt her body go cold as all sensation was leached out from her neck down. Inej pulled the needle loose and nodded to the troopers. On cue, they released their grip and Bel crumpled to the ground, completely paralyzed. The last thing she heard before her vision turned so cloudy she could no longer see anything but a sheen of white was Poe's voice, calling to her again and again.

* * *

In moments like this, instinct was all Poe had to rely on. He wanted to fight back. There was a part of him that even believed he could manage an escape if he could just get a hold of one of the troopers blasters. But the risk was too great. If he ended up stunned, he wouldn't be able to track their current course and, having been marched through the massive, identical halls of an enemy destroyer once before, he knew how much more difficult it would be trying to forge his way blind.

 _But I have to get to Bel,_ A voice in his head argued. _Even if I find my way back to the hanger, there's no guarantee I'll find her._

The trooper at his shoulder swerved suddenly and Poe was unceremoniously dumped into a small cell. He grunted, whirling to face his captors. As he pushed himself up onto his feet, the gaunt figure of General Hux appeared in the doorway. Poe was tempted to deck him right then and there, imparting to him a punch equal to that he had given Bel and then some. But the general was encircled by his guard, each of them with blasters poised to kill. Poe knew then that he would have to fall back on to Bel's equally effective tactic.

The general's lips pressed together is a wry grin. "I believe we've met before."

Poe said nothing at first, waiting for the hatred in his eyes to morph into something more damning.

"Nah," Poe said with a callow smirk. "I'dve remembered a mug like yours."

What little color was left bleached out of Hux's face. He opened his mouth to retort but Poe beat him to it.

"Look you can sick your goons on me, but I won't talk to anyone but General Hux." Poe said, falling back onto the bench at the back of the cell and hitching his bound arms behind his head. "You see I'm much too important to deal with inferior officers."

" _I'm_ General Hux!" Came the shrill retort. Poe was reminded suddenly of the Ca'vel birds back home on Yavin, always squawking and raging.

He feigned a look of bewilderment and then burst into laughter. "You? Well no wonder we were able to shoot down that base, imagine Snoke putting a guy like you in charge. Was it the resemblance, you think?"

 _Too easy._ Poe thought, watching as the color bled back into Hux's face tenfold. He seemed ready to self-implode when a call came from behind.

"They're ready for you, sir."

"Fine," Hux spat, but paused as an idea ignited in the back of his mind. He signaled one of the guards to lock the cell before ordering, "Summon Ren. Let him know what's happened. I'm sure he will be more than pleased to deal with the pilot."

* * *

Minutes crawled by before Bel's vision finally began to clear. She felt cold all over and her mouth growing painfully dry.

 _Paralysis serum._ Bel thought, recognizing the symptoms. _Shit. What am I going to do? And Poe…_

Her thoughts spiraled as she thought about what could be happening. Her brother employed a team of truly heinous scientists who had joined the First Order not out of loyalty to the causes of the Old Empire but out of a desire to work on projects that the New Republic had deemed amoral.

 _But..they're not here on this ship. They're still in the unknowns...I think._

She had been lifted onto a gurney and was being pushed through hallway after hallway. Black and gray shapes swirled around her vision, only occasionally blending with a passing burst of red or white translucent light.

 _What can I do?! I'm...i'm powerless..._

Her body had effectively been turned to stone, unshakably still and unnaturally heavy. It was enough to drive her mad. She could hear the sound of keypad being tripped, followed by the unmistakable sound of the door sliding open.

 _The last time I heard that sound I was leaving._ She thought, beads of sweat seeping through the skin on her forehead. _And now..._

As she was lifted from a gurney onto a table, she tried desperately to incite even a hint of movement, but could only manage to strain her neck back and forth. As terror began to weave its way through her mind, a bright light clicked on above her and she gasped, water leaking from the corners of her eyes.

Her world narrowed, sound and what little sensation she had left fading to nothing. All she could make out was the distant sound of her own panicked, shallow breaths and her brothers words echoing in the back of her mind like a death knell.

 _What is this? What's happening?!_

* * *

Poe slammed his fists into the door. Pain burned through them as he tried again and again to force it open. But aside from managing to forge a small dent, the door wouldn't budge. He cursed aloud, ramming his foot into it with every last bit of strength he had, only to lose his balance and keel backwards to the floor.

 _This isn't working._ He thought. He shuffled in reverse, leaning his back against the bench and pulling his knees up to his chest.

 _I have to get out of here._ He thought, pausing to catch his breath. _I have to find Bel and get us out. But how?_

He reached one hand into a hidden pocket in his jacket, searching for the radio he had taken from BB-8 before rushing off to find Bel.

"S-stand back please." Came a muffled, mousy whisper from the other side of the door.

Poe's head shot up. For a moment he thought he had imagined it, but a second later the lock on the door whirred and then buckled. As the steam cleared, a young woman bearing an officers markings stepping into the cell.

"Who are you?" Poe questioned.

"There's no time for that!" She rushed forward, grabbing at his arm and trying to drag him up. Poe pushed off the ground, regarding her with an incredulous glance.

"But-"

She only shushed him and grabbed at the cuffs around his wrists. She pulled out a small rectangular card with her free hand and slid it across the surface of the sensor at the center of them. The small green light adjacent to it flickered red and then with a small beep the cuffs popped open, falling heavily to the floor.

"You need to stop the procedure," She said, pulling him into the hallway. "Take this."

She peeled back her coat and unhooked a blaster from the belt at her side.

"Procedure?" Poe repeated, accepting it from her. "What-"

The woman held a finger to her lips. "Please, Mater Ren is on his way. When he finds that you're not here…"

"Kylo Ren is here?" Something pricked painfully at the back of his mind, the echo of sensation he had tried to forget, but always appeared during adrenaline fueled nightmares.

" _Listen_ to me," The woman implored. "You'll need to take the elevator down two floors…"

She rattled off a series of directions, intermittently flashing a frightened glance up and down the hallway.

"...then you make a left. You'll want to go through the third door on the right side. There will be seven attendees assisting the lieutenant. And there might be guards stationed on the door. If you hurry you can make it there before the general does."

"Why are you doing this?" Poe asked, images of Finn's similarly desperate face flashing through his head.

The woman swallowed. "Lieuten-Serana has always been good to me. If they do this she'll-" Her voice broke as a anguished cry escaped ahead of her words. "Please just, go now. Hurry!"

Poe nodded. "If you meet us at the hanger-"

From down the hall, they could hear the sound of marching troopers creeping closer and closer.

"Go!" The woman cried.

Poe didn't dare to hesitate again.

* * *

 _Shit!_

Poe slammed to a halt and stumbling backwards to avoid a line of troopers that had just turned the corner ahead of him. The woman's directions had been clear and he only had one more corridor to go. He hung back, breath baited, waiting for the troopers to pass, praying that they would take right turn and he could slip behind them unseen. Nevertheless, his finger drifted towards the safety of his blaster, ready in trigger if necessary. He had to admit to some luck, having gotten this far without running into a single officer. But seconds ticked by and the troopers didn't come. Risking discovery, Poe slid forward and peered around the corner.

 _Dammit._

They had stopped their march and split into groups of three, lining the walls and unknowingly blocking his way.

 _The door's just there._ Poe thought, replaying the directions over again in his head. _If I take them out and cause a commotion…_

Poe turned his head around scanning the hall he occupied for doors. He spotted one, just ten feet away.

 _Worth a shot._ He told himself. He ran for it, slamming his hand onto the keypad. It opened, revealing a narrow staircase. With a glance over his shoulder to confirm no one had seen him enter, he began to climb the stairs.

The room at the top was small and low lit. To his right, a dozen rows of raised benches sat unoccupied and the wall to his left was constructed of thick glass. Poe stalked over to it blaster in hand. He looked out, eyes traveling down.

 _It's a viewing room._ He realized, just before his heart dropped into his stomach. _What the hell?_

It was just as the woman had said. Seven individuals clothed in red scrubs were crowded around a metal table, above which hung the only light in the room. And lying prone on the table he could see...

 _ **Bel.** _ He thought, his open hand slamming onto the glass.

 _Shit, shit, shit._ He shifted his position, eyes searching for another entrance. But just as his eyes found the door it slid open and General Hux stepped through.

* * *

"I know you are not well versed in this procedure, Serana."

Bel pressed her eyes shut, fighting to contain the tears that threatened to spill from them. When she dared open them again, she could see the shadow of her brother hanging over her. She was thankful, if only momentarily, for the glare of the light above her. At least it was effective enough to shield her from the surely maddening expression on Armitage's gloating face. As if reading her mind, the light was dimmed slightly and her eyes, now fully cleared, could make out a small screen floating just next to him.

"...seeing as how you opted out of any involvement when it was first introduced to the council." He continued, stepping around to the head of the table so as not to block her view of the screen.

Red pixels danced across the black-grid until they took up the form of a human bust. One that closely resembled hers. Bel watched, horror seeping through her veins as understanding began to take shape.

 _No...he_ _ **can't**_ _mean._

The pixels marking the upper half of the head flickered and then dissipated entirely.

"I can understand your aversion to the name," Armitage continued, barely able to conceal his furor. " _Decraniation_ sounds so...archaic, don't you think?"

What little control Bel had shattered. If she had the strength to scream she would have. She doubled her efforts to move but it was hopeless. The serum was too strong and would take hours to dissipate.

" _No…_ " She shuttered weakly.

"Father was always so sure of you." Armitage said from above. "After all, you rose through the ranks so quickly. If it hadn't been for that tempestuous nature of yours...Always questioning, defying the orders of your superiors. Such an embarrassment to the family name. I suppose he always knew it would be your downfall."

Bel loosed a stifled cry as several sets of gloved hands began to roam her body. There were two at her head, gathering her hair up and back away from her neck. Another dabbed at her forehead, clearing away sweat and applying an antiseptic in a straight line just below her eyes and over the bridge of her nose. She could feel more on her wrists, adjusting their position and strapping them down to the table.

"It must seem excessive, I know." Hux murmured, his hand deftly touched the crown on her head, his thumb grazing up and down her hairline in a mocking display of domestic affection.

"Y-you can't..." She shuttered, fear gobbling up what little clarity she was desperately trying to hold onto. "...don't do this."

Her brother leaned in closer, she could feel his hot breath at the curve of her ear.

"But I _must_ , Serana," He said, his voice a low and dangerous caress. "You see, before he died father made me promise to look out for you. For sake of the bloodline, of course. If I turn you over to Snoke for treachery you'll be killed. Deservedly so, I should say..."

Bel pressed her lips together to stifle a snarl as angry tears began to slide down her skin. Armitage's hand fell away only to be replaced by two others that came up on either side and held her head firmly in place.

 _H-he can't do this! This has to stop. It has to stop!_

"Once the procedure is complete…" Bel couldn't see him any longer, but his voice sounded in her head. She couldn't escape it. "Once that troublesome psyche of yours is stripped away, you will finally be everything father hoped you would be…"

 _No please._ Bel's voice ripped through her own head, but her throat was constricted with panic.

"Obedient," Armitage continued. "Silent, submissive...unburdened by the dangers of choice."

A sob tore loose from her throat. So that was his plan. To turn her into one of his machines. Alive...but a shell of a person. She would be better off dead.

Undeterred, Hux looked to Inej. "Shall we begin?"

A different voice one too timid to belong to Inej answered.

"General?"

"What is it, Officer Endrada?" Hux growled impatiently.

"We have received a message from the Supreme Leader." The officer reported. "He would like to speak to you at once."

Armitage sighed bitterly. "Very well."

He stepped away towards the door, eyes blazing with disappointment.

"Be sure to contact me once the procedure is complete," he ordered sharply, coat billowing behind him as he made his exit.

"Yes, sir," Came Inej's muffled response behind the cloth that now covered her mouth and nose. She peered down over Bel, black eyes dancing.

"Is the patient ready?" She baited, her smile visible to Bel's quaking eyes despite being concealed.

Bel's eyes darted back and forth, she was trapped. Strapped down and unable to move regardless of the restraints. She had never felt more powerless in all her life.

Inej began to spout orders to the nurses around her. The light above Bel returned to its full brightness, nearly blinding her. One of them handed her a sharpened metal instrument, it glinted ominously in the light. Inej lifted it, angling towards Bel's head.

 _No!_

For a moment, Bel thought she heard the door slide open again but none of the masked faces surrounding her seemed to notice. A shock of dread, familiar and all consuming, pulsed through her heart and then with ghastly abruptness, the bodies around her were flung backwards.

Bel's eyes whirred from side to side as the sound of crumpling bodies and pained groans assaulted her ears. It was followed by a inebriating silence that lasted for several moments only to be broken by slow, purposeful footfalls echoing loudly throughout the room.

A shadow fell over her, blocking the light from her eyes. As her pupils adjusted, Bel found her breath once more sobbing with a strange mixture of relief and terror at the sight of the masked face above her.

 _ **Kylo.**_

* * *

ARGH! Trust me, I'm mad at myself for leaving you with such a cliffhanger (...sort of). But fear not! The next chapter will definitely be posted this week. I actually ended up splitting this chapter into two because soooo much goes down. So this next chapter will be the last before TLJ kicks in. If you're wondering I swiped the "procedure" from a passage in the Rogue One Visual Dictionary. It's...pretty gnarly to say the least. As always, thank you _thank you_ THANK YOU for reading and I would love to hear from you! All my love, H.


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you all for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing! I really can't say it enough. I wouldn't be able to do this without your support. I didn't say this last time but Happy New Year!

* * *

 **Trust.**

For a moment, all was silent and still. The depths of Kylo's presence, married as it was to the dark side of the force, filled every corner of the room. Raw energy crackled around the now thoroughly stunned inhabitant, feeding off the unnerved reverence his arrival had sparked. If the relief Bel felt was a balm, the lingering fear acted as a drug; circling rapidly through her system and making her lightheaded. Kylo straightened, allowing the blazing light above to assault her unprotected eyes once more. Bel slammed them shut, but splotchy echoes of white popped in and out of focus under her eyelids. She could only just make out his voice from above, mangled and morphed into a soulless growl under the mask.

"What is this?" The question rumbled from his throat like a predacious warning. Anger saturated each word, causing even Bel's stricken spine to quake with dread. Inej was the only one who dared to answer as she struggled up to her feet.

"O-orders, sir. From General Hux." Even Bel couldn't help but be impressed by the sharpness with which Inej addressed him.

She felt two gloved fingers briefly trace the band wrapped around her wrist before they lifted away. Her eyes fluttered open. Suddenly she was anxious to see him, even with the mask his body language was usually enough for her to gage his mental state, but there was only light; sharp, painful and bright. So she waited along with the others, breath held captive by the tension that circled through the room like a serpent on the hunt, ready to ferret out the weakest charge.

"Leave." He commanded.

"B-but sir!" Inej blubbered, drawing dubious looks from her comrades.

"Now!" Kylo barked. The energy in the room pulsed dangerously and the door slid open free of manual activation. The team of nurses and specialists didn't need any further persuasion. They scrambled to the door in a skittish stampede, one of them slamming into Inej and pushing her along with a shrill whisper. They were gone in a second, but the room only felt fuller now. Power spun out from him in erratic waves, pressing up against her and swirling in search of answers...but not penetrating. Yet. Bel breathed, tears stinging her eyes under the immense glare of the light. As if reading her mind, Kylo lifted his arm and pushed up out of her sightline. The straps around her wrists loosened and then feel away, relenting under the urging of Kylo's influence.

"Get up." He ordered. The words were clipped, a sure sign that he was trying to reign in his emotions. But Bel was at a loss to identify which ones had hold of him.

"I _can't,_ " Bel hissed. Almost instantly, pangs of regret stung her senses. The hint of venom she had let slip unguarded through her lips would certainly damage any chance she had at reconciliation. But she realized then that she didn't particularly care. There was no fight here, no chance of survival. She had left the First Order. Abandoning her post and therefore abandoning Kylo. She couldn't imagine any scenario in which forgiveness was the outcome.

She inhaled, trying to find a shred of calm amongst the tempest of possibilities and tried again, softer this time as the hopelessness of her situation tugged at her confidence. "I can't move at all."

She felt a familiar flush inflame her chest and move steadily upwards. With what strength she had, she tilted her head to the side away from him. She hated feeling so powerless, especially in front of Kylo. She felt all the more worse knowing that it was her brother that had gotten the better of her. Their rivalry had always come second to their ambition, thanks only to the fact that they were chasing different promotions. Any time her weakness was revealed, she felt it deeply etching into her skin, creating cracks in the walls. And somehow, despite her best efforts, it was always Kylo who found them. Kylo...and Poe.

 _Poe,_ With her brother gone to Snoke...what had happened to Poe? Bel had never imagined her brother would stoop to such. And she had been wrong. Her only comfort now was the hope that her betrayal far outweighed Poe's status as a Resistance Pilot and the fate awaiting him was not so heinous.

Her breath hitched as Kylo's hand shot to her throat, gloved fingers pressing heavily into her skin as he searched for her pulse. Bel attempted a hasty glance up at him, but his head was turned away as he quietly evaluated the screen. She could feel her heartbeats ramming steadily against his touch, their pace increasing with each passing second. Eventually, his hand fell away. Without a word, he dipped down and pulled her up into his arms as easily as he lifted a saber, as if she were nothing but weightless, luminous light.

* * *

 _ **Shit.**_ Poe leaned against the glass, eyes wide as he watched Snoke's fearsome dog disappear through the door, Bel cradled like a lifeless doll in his arms. _Shit, shit, shit._

General Hux was one thing, nothing more than a small man hiding behind a title and blaster-armed guards, but Kylo Ren well, he was another beast altogether. Before their first encounter, Poe had been skeptical of the rumors that ran rampant through the galaxy. He was among a small few that knew the truth: Snoke's Master Knight wasn't some boy plucked from the festering corpse of the Old Empire. He was a Solo and an Organa by blood. A boy whose life wasn't all that different from Poe's. They were, both of them, sons of Rebel leaders, born from greatness...perhaps even destined for it. But unlike Poe, Ben had chosen a different path. One so vile that rage licked at Poe's mind every time he thought of it.

When the truth was revealed to him, he had seen the sadness in Leia's eyes. The regret and the pain. He, like her, wanted to believe that the whispers of a man so dedicated to the dark side had been purposefully distorted by Snoke's war machine. It seemed impossible that a boy born from light, from Skywalker blood, could have fallen so easily and so willingly to the dark side. That his powers were so great, he could one day bring about an end to the Jedi. But Poe had experienced first hand the intensity of that power. The memory of it was still so clear. The sensation of the force, pressure clouding his head as if he'd been dunked deep under water. A strange and heady static snaking through his mind like an infestation. The searing power of darkness, burning steadily through his skin, invisible but palpable, piercing the barricades of his mind like a hot knife. It happened so quickly, the pain only flourishing when met with Poe's defiance until he couldn't stand it any longer.

Poe convulsed, his chest constricting as the memory overtook him. He hated it. Not for what had been done to him but what he had failed to do. It had been so easy for Kylo Ren to raid his mind. He could only imagine what would have happened to BB-8 had the little droid chosen any other path and not met Rey. It was hard to believe there was any light left in a man like that. If he could even be called a man anymore. Such skills were not gained without immense sacrifice. And Ben Solo, it seemed, had sacrificed everything to lay claim to his power. And now he had Bel.

* * *

 _Stay calm, stay callous. Don't show fear. It will only make things worse._ Bel told herself, repeating the words over and over again in hopes they would hit home, but her nerves were shot long ago. When she had been strapped to that table for an almost lobotomy.

 _Almost._ Bel thought, finally unearthing something to help keep her wits about her. Inej had been released. And she was no longer strapped to the table. Her brothers punishment had been effectively halted by Kylo.

A door opened and Kylo passed under the threshold, ducking his head. His grip on her was not tight, but Bel felt it more potently than the shackles she had worn earlier. As if she could feel his skin through the leather, burning her own.

He stepped into the room and laid her down on the small cot that sat against the back wall. His hand trailed up her back to her neck, straightening her so she could lean her back against the wall. Her head lolled to the side, but she managed to pull it up, straining at the effort. Pinpricks danced through her arms all the way down to her fingers as they fell limply to her sides, still heavy and completely useless. His face was close to hers, she could hear the soft ebb and flow of his breathing through the mask.

Knowing all too well the reasons he chose to wear it, Bel had quickly grown to loathe the mask. She had tried on one occasion to coax him into abandoning it, but was met only with spite. She was cross to see it had been found, having hoped it had been lost during the destruction of the base. As if sensing her disapproval, he stood up straight and lifted his hands to remove it. Bel turned her eyes away, flinching as he set it down hard on the small table next to the cot. Almost absentmindedly, he lifted his hand in a silent wave towards the door. It slid shut, the lock bolting into place with a resounding click. Bel was both anxious to look at him but terrified to act on the temptation. With the mask removed, she would be able to see him as he truly was. As he lowered himself down into the chair beside her, she considered her options.

"Can you still speak?" He asked. His eyes were cocked low, trained on his hand that rested on the table. What she could see of his face was entirely unreadable. Bel parted her lips now smeared with dried blood and exhaled before nodding her head.

"Yes."

For a long time, he said nothing and Bel realized he was waiting for her.

"What do you want me to-" She started, hoarsely.

"You know what I want." He said. His voice was like the blood that stained her tongue, metallic and hot.

An explanation. Bel couldn't deny it was owed. In the past she was always raging at him when he ran off without reporting to her as he should. When he ignored her advice. When he kept things from her. She could see the lies in his eyes always, but he never seemed to mind it. She knew better than to call him on it unless absolutely necessary. There was no doubt Kylo could manipulate. She had seen him in action, melding his voice into a low purr, catching his victims off guard and drawing information from them with the same cool and calculated affections he had seen Snoke use. And yet he rarely turned those tools on her.

 _Because I've never given him reason to._

Until now. Now that she had stepped blindly and willingly into the role of a hypocrite. Demanding honesty and openness from him only to turn around and vanish without leaving a single word behind. Bel couldn't stoop to say she regretted it, but she was fast realizing that she would pay for it. For every word she'd left unsaid.

 _So say them now._ She pursed her lips together, knowing all too well that she had no other option to turn to. There could be nothing between them but truth now. It was all she had left.

"Did you know Armitage killed our father?" She said. She kept her eyes trained ahead, unable to face him as she spoke. She focused instead on the wall in front of her. The black sheen, one that had once marked home to her, had lost its luster in her absence. What had once seemed pleasantly clean and polished now looked dull and dark. She sniffed, realizing that she hadn't missed it.

"I hate to say it," She continued when met with his trademark steely disquiet. "But he did the job well. I'm sure that Sno-...that the Supreme Leader knows it. I'm sure that's why he promoted him. A general that was so blinded by his ambition that he would kill his own flesh and blood for any scrap of power he could muster. I always suspected but, in that moment I knew my brother would do anything to achieve his goals. I promised myself that I would never be like him. That I would never sacrifice what little freedom I had for the sake of a title and the fleeting pleasure of praise. I never thought my brother would use me as he did out father, I saw no way he could given the avenues we chose. Our fates were different. My successes could never diminish his. I thought I was safe from his machinations."

She ventured a glance at Kylo, knowing all too well that her words were capable of wounding him too. In many ways, Kylo was very much like her brother. Chasing the promises of the Supreme Leader with little regards to ramifications of their actions. He remained as still as ever, but his eyes had shifted to hers. Bel looked away, knowing if she lingered too long she was sure to drown in those dark pools. She swallowed and plunged forward.

"After you told me...what he'd done. What you had agreed to…I knew then that I was wrong. I was angry. And I was scared. He had taken what choice I had and locked it away."

"Is that what I am to you?" Kylo murmured. His hand tightened into a fist, leather scrunching against leather. "A prison?"

Bel's eyes met his; they were cold and accusing. She bit down on her lip, shaking her head. She was so tired. Tired of always living on guard. Tired of attempting to navigate his ever changing emotions. Tired of holding back her own in order to survive.

"You know that's not what I meant." She said, unable to hold back a bit of venom.

To her surprise, he didn't bite back. He blinked and looked down at his lap, something akin to remorse flashing like a shadow across this face. A shadow that had always been there. The seeds Snoke had planted long before Bel had even met him. They had grown, fashioning themselves into walls of darkness. For many years, they had been translucent. A veil behind which Bel could see a lost soul, but as time went on and Kylo's death count had grown, it became more and more opaque. In the past months, Bel was certain she was beginning to lose him. And she couldn't deny it was that loss that had pushed her through the snow storm and further from the First Order. But as she looked at him now, she could see that some of the vigor Snoke had worked so hard to construct had been chipped away. Taking the shape of the scar that marred his face.

 _Something's changed._ Bel realized. _I didn't see it on Yasutra. But now…_

"You were the only thing holding me back." Bel said thickly. "And when you sided with him? When you chose to navigate my fate without even attempting to consult me? It broke something inside me, Kylo. I thought you were different. And I was wrong. So...I ran."

His brow furrowed, a deep frown etching into his face. But he didn't move, didn't pose to answer her accusations, as damning at they were. Bel thought that maybe he expected more from her still. She was about to continue, when a sting like a fiery poker pierced her forehead.

Bel inhaled sharply, eyes slamming shut as he probed into her mind. She was foolish not to expect it, but her guard was down and he had anticipated it.

"Ah," Bel seethed, her head rolling back against the wall. "K-kylo, please…"

She gritted her teeth as the pressure in her mind grew more severe. Black splotches of shadow began to overtake her vision and then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Bel gasped, drawing air into her lungs as her head spun like a top.

"It's more than that," Kylo said, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. His face was inches from hers again and he had that look in his eye, one she had seen whenever he was certain of himself. Safe to say, it was a sight rarely glimpsed. Bel drew in another shaky breath, tears leaking from her eyes, terrified of what he saw.

"You care." He said in a low whisper. "What happens to the pilot."

 _No._ Bel thought, struggling to maintain an blank expression. Her mind worked quickly, falling back on her instinct, imploring her to relent only what was necessary. The half truth, but never the whole.

"Yes," She conceded, vision blurring as more tears fell.

"The TIE's shot us down." She continued. "He had a chute and he could've left me but...he didn't. He saved my life, Kylo. No matter who he is or what he fights for...I owe him a debt."

The silence that succeeded her answer was enough to drive her mad. But after considering her words, Kylo nodded and slowly rose to his feet.

"And what will you owe me?" He asked. "If I stop all this."

 **If…**

"I-I don't understand," Bel stuttered. Kylo loosed an impatient huff and turned away from her.

"This war is far from over." He said, his voice low and dangerous. "The map is lost. The gir-the Resistance will soon find Skywalker and attempt to restore the Jedi order. If we don't put an end to this soon, more lives will be lost chasing folly. And I...I need you with me, Sera."

His gloved hands turned to fists at his sides, his words weighing heavily on his shoulders. Bel's head drooped down. There was a time, not long ago, when those words were all she had ever wanted to hear him say. What wrongs had she committed for fate to thrust them upon her now...now that they had come far too late. She opened her mouth, daring to speak the words she had always imagined herself saying when the time had come.

"You've always had me, Kylo. Since the moment I took up my post, you've had me."

Kylo whirled, something like relief swimming in his eyes. He stepped forward and knelt beside her.

"Then why?" He implored.

"I can't live my life as nothing but a prize to be won." Bel answered.

"So don't."

Bel was suddenly thankful for the paralysis, for had she not been so confined, she would've jumped straight out of her skin and he could've taken her surprise as revulsion.

She breathed. "But- the Supreme Leader, you said he-"

"That was a lie." Kylo said, remorseless and steadfast. "Nothing has happened. Your brother had planned to breach the subject only when we returned to his ship. Nothing needs to change. Everything can remain as it was."

Bel opened her mouth, but nothing came to her. Did he truly believe it? After what she had done he still wanted her by his side? Even in the face of rejection?

He stood again, stepping out of her sightline. She heard faintly the sound of running water before he returned setting something down on the table. Her eyes were trained ahead again, trying to comprehend what had transpired between them and what could have possibly moved Kylo's distant, dying heart.

Something warm and raggedy pressed gently to her mouth and Bel started, pulled from her thoughts. Kylo had taken up his seat again and held in his hand one of the sterile cloths from her bag. With stumbling caution, he began to clean the dried blood from her wounded lip. Bel tried to protest, turning her head but he caught hold of her chin with his free hand.

"Be still," He commanded none too tenderly; some his infamous impatience slipping back in place. Bel knew better than to argue. She barely managed to breath as he dabbed at the blood, moving the cloth across her cheek and nose. When he had finished, he pulled back and released his grip before dropping the cloth into the bowl of water on the table.

Bel watched him with wide eyes as the guilt and grief returned tenfold.

"I'm so sorry." She heard herself say. A great weight lifted off her chest at the admission and Bel realized only then the heavy truth of it. She was sorry. It had never been him she meant to betray. He leaned back in the chair, running his hands through the thicks folds of his hair and sighed looking up towards the ceiling.

"I know." He said, finally meeting her eye. It had been years since they had talked this way. Bel didn't realize how much she had missed it.

After a moment he stood, carrying the bowl and dumping it into the sink adjacent to the bed.

"The paralysis," He asked as he watched the red-tinged water circle the drain. "How long does it last?"

"A-a couple of hours," Bel answered, confusion still mucking her mind. "It depends on the dosage. But-"

Bel paused. Chewing on her lip, she weighed the consequences her next words could bring. _But if I don't try Poe could be-_

She didn't want to think on it any further.

"There should be an antiseptic." She said, head pounding so hard she could barely hear her own words as her instinct screamed at her to abandon such a dangerous risk. "...in my bag."

Kylo's head whipped up to meet her gaze and for a moment Bel thought she had pushed her luck too far. But she could see salvation in his sunken eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept for days. He had been reprimanded by Snoke, Bel was sure of it. She was hit suddenly by another slap of guilt. _Usually he comes to me._ She thought, _But I wasn't there._

Mercifully, he turned and stalked across the room.

"A blue and white vile-yes, there." Bel pressed, careful to keep her tone as indifferent as possible. "You'll need one of the syringes."

He returned to the chair he had been occupying sliding it closer to her side with nothing more than a wave of his hand. He lowered himself into the seat, looking to her for direction.

Bel tilted her chin down towards her shoulder. "Pull my sleeve up."

He complied, his large hand wrapped around her forearm and tugged the sleeve up the curve of her shoulder.

"N-now," She said, nearly breathless. "Push the needle into the top and then pull back the plunger."

She watched him, his movements uncharacteristically thoughtful.

"Yes, like that," She instructed. "And pull it up until it reaches the third line. A little more. Now...pull it out and up."

He did so, eyeing it almost warily.

"And just stick it in." She said. "Just at the center if you can manage."

He leaned forward, needle poised to strike but paused. Bel waited, looking between her arm and his face.

"It's alright," She said gently and offered him a small smile. "If I could I'd do it myself, I would."

He met her gaze and she nodded reassuringly. He sucked in a breath and tilted the needle down, pushing it through her skin. Bel inhaled sharply, eyes snapping shut.

"Now press it down, all the way." She hissed, between clenched teeth. "That's good."

His hand hovered over her arm, his eyes trained on the needle. Once again the look was unreadable, but Bel was almost certain he seemed mournful.

"Well, pull it out." She breathed.

He blinked and did as she asked, setting the syringe down next to the bowl.

"Is it bleeding?" She asked.

"No."

"Good, then we're done." She said, trying and failing to inject even a hint of cheer into her voice.

 _What happens now?_ She thought.

"Does it take long to set in?"

And just like that, he had unknowingly presented her with an avenue. She didn't hesitate, didn't give herself a chance to consider another option.

"Thirty minutes." Bel said, meeting his dark eyes with her icy ones. "I should have attuned completely by then."

"Then I will return," Kylo said brusquely, rising once more to his feet with mask in hand.

He left her then. As the door slid shut, Bel could only hope he had duties to attend to that didn't involve rebel pilots.

* * *

After several minutes, Bel managed to drag herself into a sitting position and gingerly rise up to her feet. Contrary to what she had told Kylo, the antiserum worked quickly. It was a shock to her system, dredging up the energy that she thought had been sapped away. Her triumph was short lived however, as the weight of her body was soon too much to handle. Her muscles tightening under the strain of effort gave way and she stumbled. Grunting, she fell against the wall, gripping it tightly for support. Her legs quaked, knees knocking together as she tried to straighten herself. Her head was swimming as the chemicals pumped through her system battled for dominance. She paused, taking a moment to gather her thoughts and a few extra breaths.

Her knowledge of Kylo, one she had only been able to cultivate after seven years of close contact, told her that he would return to check on her the second the serum had completed its cycle. Which was why she had to lie to him.

 _Again._ Bel thought, another shiver humming through her. They were beginning to pile up, the lies. If she wasn't careful, they would soon catch up to her and her already numbered days would be slashed asunder. Leaving her abandoned, a traitor high in the ranks of the Order. She hated to think what would become of her then. The Supreme Leader took great care to make a heady example out of traitors.

 _It doesn't matter._ She told herself, sliding across the wall to put herself in reach of her bag. It was right where she had left it those six or seven days passed. She couldn't certain of the exact number. Everything that had unfolded since her harrowing escape melded into a blurry mess. It seemed like years had gone by since that day. As if she could feel the depth of change in her as easily as she could now hold a blaster. _Once I find Poe we can get out of here and then I'll never have to-_

 _ **I need you with me, Sera.**_

Bel froze, one fist enclosed on the bag's handle. Kylo's words, his voice raw and thick like honey, had been slow to reach her. She pulled herself up, dragging the bag along as her ears rang with the echo of his voice.

 _Sera._ She repeated.

Serana had been her birth name. That one had been easy to give up. Even though it was her mother who had bequeathed it to her, Bel had never heard it spoken in her voice. She couldn't remember hearing her mother's voice at all. Instead, she could only hear it with the saliva-ridden bite of her father's unctuous baritone. Or her brother's, a slight but effective copy of their fathers, enunciating each word with pompous vigor. Or in the Supreme Leaders posturing, bone-chilling commands. She hated that name. Hated what they had turned it into. Something to be ordered about, molded and manipulated. Instead of imbuing her with a singular sense of self, it made her feel anonymous. A replaceable cog in a mighty machine, already stamped with an expiration date while a newer, younger, more ambitious model waited in the wings. They may as well have given her a number like the troopers.

But Sera…

Kylo had given her that name. She couldn't remember when he had first used it, only that the sound of it gave her hope and purpose. It came, like a gift, from somewhere deep in his broken psyche. She doubted he even realized that he had said it first. That he was the only one to say it.

 _Who still used it._

As the serum worked its way through her veins, new energy surged through her accompanied by adrenaline sparked by her revelation.

 _He still trusts me._ Bel thought, mind racing as she dipped her hand into the bag and pulled out the change of clothes that lay inside. _He's disappointed but...not angry._

It wasn't difficult to tell when Kylo was angry. His unpredictability grew tenfold. His dark eyes would turn wild, almost animalistic; his movements erratic and charged with the power he had gleaned from the dark side of the force. And his orders, mask or no mask, would come in a roar that could shake planets leaving trails of destruction in its wake. It was only then that he would use her full name, speaking it with enough toxins to quell a fathier.

 _But he wasn't yelling._ Bel thought, her pulse quickening. _And he didn't call me Serana. H-how can that be?_

She had spoke honestly yes, hiding the small hints of truth she knew could send him raging. But he hadn't picked up on them. Had he not even bothered to look? No. How had she not seen? Was she so blinded with fear, her mind so dulled with medication, that she hadn't even noticed? He hadn't tried to breach her mind. Only asked for the truth. And accepted her answers. But why?

 _There's no time._ Came another voice in her head. _You need to find Poe before they kill him._

Bel shook her head, but couldn't rid herself of the guilt that pressed up against every nook of her mind. She shed the bloodied blouse and pants from Craas, numbly wishing she didn't have to let them go, having grown quickly attached to them in the short time she had called them hers. If she were to successfully smuggle Poe to the launch bay, she would need to blend in. She slipped slowly into her back up uniform, hating the feel of the constricting fabric as she pulled up the zippers and locked the buttons into place. With nervous fingers she molded her hair back into that of a tight bun at the back of her head, folding stray hairs into place. It was frightening, the ease in which she could transform back into the person she had hoped to leave behind. By the time she had finished, the serum had taken its full effect. She began to pace, nervous energy bubbling up in her chest.

 _I have maybe...fifteen minutes at most._ She thought, noting the time in the back of her mind. She placed her hand on the keypad. The time had come to put her burgeoning theory to the test. If Kylo really did believe her, the hall on the other side of the door would be empty of guards. She closed her eyes, sucking in a steadying breath and pressed the series of keys that would open the door.

* * *

Poe darted down another empty corridor, narrowly avoiding another handful of marching troopers, even though he was tempted to storm through them blaster blazing. The destroyer was a maze, and he was starting to think that he was going in circles. As the minutes ticked by, the more reckless he grew. He had to find Bel, but what could he do when he did? He stopped at the next corner, placing his hand on the wall and listening for the sound of whirring door locks or synchronized footfalls. Slowly, he backed up keeping watch for the platoon. He couldn't see them, but he could hear them closing in. He turned swiftly, readying himself to dash down the hall, but he rammed into something. Another body.

His head was whirring but he could clearly make out the one thing he had been desperate to see: icy, blue eyes wide with surprise.

* * *

"Poe!" Bel cried, tears falling joyously as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. "You're alive, you're alive."

"B-bel!" He sputtered hands hovering over her back still reeling with disbelief.

Her knees began to shake again and she buried her head into his shoulder. She heard him chuckle as his arms tightened around her waist and thought she'd collapse completely. A distant burst of radio babel pulled them from their reunion. Poe released her and reached for his blaster, but Bel caught his hand and towed him down the hall and into an unmanned door. After pushing him in she spun and entered a code to lock it at her clearance level. Once she was sure the order had been accepted, she turned back to Poe.

"Are you-Mmph!"

Poe pushed up against her, his hands against the wall on either side of her head and pressed his lips to hers. Bel's question fizzled into nothing as warmth and light surged through her. She reached weakly for his jacket, fingers grazing the fabric and trying to pull him closer.

 _Home._ That was what he felt like. His rough hands, those warm eyes, that smell that radiated from his skin and made her heart thump a beat faster every time she took it in. He pulled back and she whimpered, wanting more. She held tightly to his jacket. The thought of letting go was harrowing. Bel bit down on her lower lip, fishing the expanse of her mind for something to say.

"A-are you alright?" Bel said remembering suddenly what she had meant to ask before the kiss, even as the heat in her cheeks began to drift down and spread through her veins with the comforting warmth of embers. She smiled, lifting her hands to cup his face as she searched him for any signs of damage. Poe breathed a laugh, lifting one had to cover hers while the other went to her neck. He wiped away the lingering wetness on her cheek with his thumb, conducting an inspection of his own.

"I am now." He said, unevenly. "You look…"

He face morphed into one a mild distaste as he took in her uniform. He hated to think it suited her, but the deep navy tones brought new shades to her cold eyes and made her hair look redder even in the darkness of the unoccupied room.

"I know." Bel said, regarding her dress with similar revulsion. "I'd thought it would be easier to get around. How did you-?"

"A woman," Poe said, sensing the question. "From the hanger. She didn't give me her name. Blondish hair, green eyes?"

"Amaris, she is...was an officer in my charge," Bel said aloud. "She helped you? Where is she now?"

"I don't know." Poe said, shaking his head. "There were troopers we had to separate."

"We have to find her," Bel said, without hesitation. "She can come with us, can't she?"

"I tried to tell her to meet us at the hanger," Poe nodded. "But I don't know where she went. No one saw her, Hux meant to-to…"

Poe paused, the gears in his head halting. He looked deep into Bel's eyes.

"W-what?" Bel asked, wanting to dodge the severity of the stare.

"Why didn't you tell me, Red?" He said softly. His hand fell away from her neck and he hitched it up on the hall beside her. "Or...is it Serana. Serana Hux?"

Color drained from Bel's face. He hadn't said it with contempt or even confusion, but the sound of that name on his lips boiled her blood. It sounded foreign, it sounded...wrong.

"Really, Poe. What would you have thought of me if I'd given you that name?" Bel lamented.

"And he's your-" Poe started, unable to resist the question.

"We share a father." Bel said, flippantly. " _Nothing_ more. Call me Bel, call me whatever you like just not that...not anymore."

Poe studied her for a moment longer before breaking out that rogue's smile of his. "So...I _can_ call you Red then?

Bel scoffed, eyes rolling back into her head but allowing for a small grin. "If you must."

Poe laughed, pushing off the wall. He was about to suggest that they make for the hanger, but a lost thought tugged at the back of his mind as his heart plunked into his stomach like a stone.

"How did you...Bel, I saw...from the viewing room. Kylo Ren-"

Be's lips morphed into a thin frown. She had hoped he hadn't seen. A shiver ran through her at the thought of him up there, watching her worst nightmare unfold. She sighed and pressed her index finger to his lips.

"I-I know, it's-well, a long story. For another time."

She moved to turn towards the door but Poe caught her hand in his and squeezed.

"Bel," He implored. "Did he... _what_ did he-"

"No," Bel insisted. "I thought he might but…"

She craned her head towards the door and back again. With a sigh, she relented. If they were to move past this and escape, he needed to understand.

"I'm his doctor, Poe," Bel said. "That's the position I hold here in The Order."

Poe blinked, her words carried immense weight and were slow to sink in.

"To all the knights really," Bel explained. "But it's Kylo's physical and mental health I'm meant to attend to."

"I-" Poe stuttered. He released Bel's hand, running his through the damp curls at his forehead. "You…"

"I hold the rank of lieutenant, it's the highest a medic can aspire to." Bel said, turning back to the door. "But my clearance stretches far beyond that rank. I report directly to Snoke. Or...at least I did."

She slid her finger over the keypad, eyes trained on the buttons.

"So Kylo Ren," Poe continued. "He's your patient? And he-"

Bel's fingers paused, hovering over the keys that would open the door.

"He's angry with me, yes," She said, her voice distant. "Livid, actually. But he's willing to look past it. Despite what I've done. I think…"

 _ **I need you with me, Sera.**_

It wasn't an order. He was trying to appeal to what he knew she could never disavow. Her desire to heal. To help and to comfort. All those years ago, upon their first meeting he had let her in. Allowed her to see the conflict and the pain. And for years she had been trying to remedy it, with every tool at her disposal. And yet, even after all she had done, he was still the same lost boy. She had failed him and yet he still asked for her help. Still wanted it.

Poe loosed a low whistle, tearing Bel from her thoughts. "That is a long story, Red,"

Bel shook her head, forcing the grin back in place. "That's only half of it."

She pressed the code that would open the door. Poe touched her shoulder, holding her back and slipping around her, blaster drawn. He stuck his neck out, eyes peeling down the length of the hallway searching for signs of the troopers.

"Okay." His free hand swung out behind him, reaching for her. Bel took it, weaving her fingers through his. "Looks like the coast is clear."

They darted out, rushing silently down at least a dozen passages, stopping only on occasion to assess what lay ahead. All the while, Bel's mind was racing, sorting through a shadowy array of memories. The deeper she searched the faster her surroundings sunk to the back of her mind. When Poe skidded to a stop she barreled into him nearly knocking him through the door.

"Locked." Poe said, nodding towards the keypad. Bel nodded and stepped forward, reluctantly sliding her hand from his. She clung to that warmth as she plugged in the override code and halted the notification it would send to the bridge.

 _You know what you have to do._ A voice in her head whispered. Bel flung her eyes up, catching sight of her reflection in glass just before it opened with a _whoosh_ of steam. Aside from a bruised nose and a cut lip, she looked just as she had before her foolhardy plan to leave The Order.

"Let's go." Poe said, racing forward. But Bel didn't move to follow. She gripped the door with both hands, leaning against it.

Poe nearly reached the first fighter in the line of TIEs before he realized she had held back. He slid to a stop, panting as he looked over his shoulder. Bel's eyes were trained towards the floor, but she might as well have been back on Craas, she seemed lost to some far away place.

"Bel?" Poe called.

Her eyes shifted shakily towards his for only a moment. Her grip tightened, knuckles bleaching at under the strain. She deftly shook her head from side to side.

"I-I can't," she said in a whisper. Clarity burst to life in her head, sparking her resolve. _You know what you have to do._

She looked up to meet his eye and repeated herself. "I can't go with you, Poe."

"Are you crazy?" Poe said, stalking back towards her. Bel lifted a hand, catching his chest as he zeroed in. She was grateful in that moment that she was taller than him so that he couldn't look down on her with that accursed self-righteous stare. "If we don't get you out of here-"

"You have the information you need," Bel explained calmly. "I can't leave Amaris and-"

Poe inhaled, dropping his head. "I-I know it's hard, but this is our chance. No one saw her help me. She didn't-"

"It's not just that." Bel said, finally meeting his gaze. "If I stay-"

"If you stay, you'll be killed." Poe interjected, taking hold of her shoulders. Bel thought he meant to shake her, but he only held firm. For the first time, she could see signs of panic glinting in his warm eyes. "Or worse…turned into-into that _thing_ like your brother wanted."

"I won't," Bel said with hushed conviction. "He may suspect me of treason but-"

"Rightly so," Poe tried to point out.

" _But-"_ Bel continued, sharply. "Kylo doesn't. He still trusts me, Poe. And my position at his physician protects me. Even from Armitage. Kylo is the only person my brother fears aside from Snoke. Don't you see? If I stay, I can help the Resistance. I-I can pass off information, warn you of attacks. You destroyed the planet killer yes, but The First Order has so much more Poe, there are troops and ships just waiting in the Unknowns for Snoke's word. The Resistance won the battle but there's still a war, Poe!"

Poe huffed in disbelief, releasing her shoulders. He lifted his arms out, "Bel...I can't leave you here. Not like this."

Bel only smiled, her confidence growing with every word she spoke. She stepped forward and took his face in her hands again. She wanted desperately to kiss him one last time, but she knew if she did she wouldn't want to let him go and she would leave with him.

"You can," Bel nodded in encouragement. "Use me, let me stay. I've already turned, now _use_ that. Can you imagine what Leia could do with a mole amongst the highest ranks of the Order!?"

The words tumbled out of her, true and strong, even as her body betrayed her and began to tremble in earnest.

"I don't _want_ to use you, Bel." Poe tried to clarify, but he could see in her eyes that her decision was made. "I want..."

 _-to be with you._ He thought, unable to voice the words.

Bel stepped back, her eyes tinged with an ache she felt deep within. The thought of surrendering her chance at freedom and instead risking a horrific death was still there inside her. But it was fear and cowardice. It was the easy choice. She had been making easy choices a priority all her life. And she hated herself for it.

"I'm not asking for your permission." She said quietly, her mind made up. "I can do this, Poe. _We_ can do this. The faster we put an end to this war, the more lives will be saved. On both sides. There are people like Finn still sworn to protect the First Order, but they can be _saved_. Millions can still be saved!"

Poe inhaled sharply as he considered her. He recognized the hunger in her eyes.

 _I'm rubbing off on her._ He thought with grim amusement, the corner of his lips turning up. Suddenly he realized why so many people were always rolling their eyes at his reckless excitement. _Leia's not gonna let me live it down, that's for sure._ With a heavy sigh, he reached into his jacket and pulled out the recorder.

"Here," He relented, holding it out to her. Bel glanced down at it, recognizing it as the one BB-8 had provided her. "If you press the red button at the bottom you can send a cloaked message but it has to be short, no more than ten seconds long or it will be vulnerable to tracking systems."

Bel took it, clutching it tightly in her palm. She bit down on her lip, trying to hold back the nerves that bubbled in her stomach like froths of boiling water.

"Thank you, Poe."

He only nodded gruffly. There was reluctance in his eyes and for that she couldn't blame him. But there was something else too. Deep down, Bel was certain he knew she was right. This was a chance she couldn't pass up, no matter the consequences. She stepped forward and flung her arms around him once more.

"I will see you again." She said softly, even as doubt hung, poised like a blade over her head. He returned her embrace, holding tightly to her.

"That's a promise, Red?"

Bel breathed a laugh to stifle the cry of relief that was building in her throat. "Yes, yes...it's a promise."

"Good," He said, drawing away. Bel whimpered as the warmth of him began to dissipate. If Poe could sense her doubt, he didn't let on. His gaze burned through her, quieting her concern. "That radio belongs to BB-8, he'll kill me if I don't get it back to him."

Bel breathed a throaty laugh. "Well, I can't have that."

They locked eyes, threads of longing stretching out from both of them and knotting together in understanding. No matter how far they stretched apart, that string would remain taught.

"...I'll see you on the other side, Bel." Poe said, after a beat.

Bel nodded, too overcome to respond. She watched him pivoted and make for the fighters once more.

"Be safe, flyboy!" She heard herself shout shakily. Poe stopped just as he swung one leg into the hull of the ship. He turned, waves of curls bouncing on his forehead and sent that roguish smile back in response before disappearing behind a shade of black glass. Head and stomach set into a flutter, Bel reached out with one quivering hand and pressed the button that would disengage the shields. The TIE lifted from the floor of the bay and sped off into the sea of stars blanketed black. To Bel's surprise and successive joy, she could see that it was not alone. Two x-wings, one painted sharply in orange and black, were making a speedy approach.

 _Jess and Snap!_

Her elation was fleeting as the hallway was bathed in flashes of red light. A familiar siren blared, followed by a voice she knew all too well.

"Resistance fighters approaching!" Came the smug drawl of Captain Opan over the loudspeakers that lined the ceilings. "Any able bodied pilots report to the bay at once."

Bel spun, feet sliding on the slick floor below her and headed back towards her room; clutching the radio tightly in her hand. She paused before each new corridor, searching for signs of any trooper or officer. Fortunately, she found none and managed to make it back to Kylo's quarters without detection.

Breathless, with apprehension eating away at her dwindling defenses, Bel raced to the single window that sat on the wall to her right. She loosed a throaty laugh as exhaustion set in, her fingertips touching the glass as she watched Poe's stolen ship fly circles around the TIEs that had been dispatched to bring him down. Snap and Jess followed suit and in a matter of minutes three of the seven TIES were blown to bits. The skilled resistance pilots were toying with them certainly. As if to confirm her suspicions, the renegade TIE shot upwards, vanishing into hyperspace along with the two resistance ships.

Bel inhaled sharply, her hand leaping to her chest as a sudden and swift pain shot through her heart. It was lost to her as quickly as it had come, leaving behind a perilous sensation of emptiness. She felt lighter for but a moment as waves of dread rushed to fill the void, like waves flooding into a cavernous shore.

 _He's gone,_ she thought, nails scraping at the stiff fabric of her tunic as her hand balled into a fist around the transmitter. Silence rang loudly in her ears. She let her forehead fall against the cool glass as the realization of her choice flooded through her like blood staining water. With her adrenaline beginning to wane, she was left only with consequence. Her eyes fell shut as a barrage of possibilities flooding her vision. There was no guarantee that her brother's will could be entirely curtailed by Kylo's wrath and station. No guarantee that Kylo's trust in her would last.

 _This could be the death of me._ She shoved the prospect away, banishing it to the back of her mind. There could be no place for fear any longer. If she were to survive this war, she would need to rely on every last strain wit and wisdom at her disposal.

She pushed off the window and caught sight of her muted reflection in the reinforced glass. All foreboding fell away and she smiled back at herself, rubbing her thumb over the surface of the radio Poe had entrusted to her. She opened her hand, letting it rest at the center of her palm. It was such a small, silver thing. How ironic that her salvation could be found in something so insignificant. At the top of it, emblazoned in orange and black was the Resistance ensign.

 _Chuck the odds._ She thought, as purpose lit within her bright and bold, blotting out her fear.

No longer would she be a pawn of the First Order...but a defender of the Light.

 **End of Part l**

* * *

Thank you for reading! I couldn't help but indulge in a rehash of the now infamous "bridal carry." Kylo is a tough one to get right I do hope I did justice to Adam's spectacular performance.

The next chapter will take a little longer to get out than these past two but I am so freaking excited to continue this story! Time to have some fun with the Last Jedi. Until then...Much Love, H.


	13. Chapter 13

Ahhh! Thank you so much for all of your reviews and support! I'm so glad people like Bel. She really came together so fully in my head and it's so rewarding to know that she's fitting in with the canon characters just as I had hoped. Now I finally get to dive into The Last Jedi (I say finally as if it's been _that_ long). I am cheating a little bit and expanding the time frame between the two movies, just...to like two weeks? Maybe three. To squeeze this story in ;0) I don't like to go against canon, it's better for my girls if I keep as strictly to it as I can, but I figure this isn't too big a change. Anyway, enjoy! :0)

* * *

 **Separation.**

 _What was I thinking?_

As the stolen TIE, Poe's second in the span of only a few weeks, breached the atmosphere of D'Qar, he realized suddenly that he had made a mistake. Numbly, he clambered out of the fighter. The adrenaline that accompanied him on every flight had began to wane, but the moment his feet hit the ground, he knew he had to get back in.

 _Go back, go get her._

He spun around, gripping the wing and readying himself to make the leap back inside, but Snap and Jess were there, jabbering enthusiastically.

"What the hell Poe-?!" Snap said with a laugh and clap to his shoulder.

"You're out of your mind, Dameron." Came Jess' voice a second later, her tired smile wide with relief. "Why didn't you-"

But the reality of what he had done was closing in around him. Jess and Snap's voices blurred, muffling and stretching farther away even though neither of them had moved. As tech crews descended on the tarmac, a small familiar noise broke through the encroaching din. Poe looked down to see BB-8 circling his legs, it's lights beaming on and off with the same air of excitement as his fellow pilots.

"Hey buddy," He muttered, crouching down and placing a hand on the little droids head. "You made it."

BB-8's head tilted forward and back in a nod and spun his body round before suddenly stopping. It's black eye angled up towards the fighter and, seeing nothing, whizzed back down and around. Jess eyed the droid and, as if realizing what it was searching for, conducted her own inspection.

"Poe," She said, placing a hand on Snap's shoulder to quiet him. "...Where's Bel?"

Poe kept his eyes low, trained on BB-8 as he tried to find the words to explain. But so much had happened. The droid's eye watched him expectantly and he could feel that Jess and Snap's were trained on him from above as well.

 _And I just left her there. With Hux and...and_ _ **Ren**_ _._

A flash of a memory assaulted his mind's eye. For less than a second he could feel metal around his wrists, blood leaking from his nose and the sound of Ren's voice followed by a red-hot shock of energy stabbing through his head.

Poe jolted to his feet, the guilt that had been circling him having now found its home. Poe leaned his back against the TIE, his hand went to his hair, brushing away the sweat forming at his brow. His fingers grazed the scar at his temple, the one Bel had helped to heal.

"She-I-" He started. Why had he listened? She was no more a spy than he was. Skilled in her chosen field yes, but untrained. With nothing but an aging bit of tech to connect them. Trapped amongst the most sadistic of their enemies, her own flesh and blood brother ready and willing to carve out her mind to better serve their cause and enact what he believed to be just retribution. "I need-"

A throaty call from ahead of them interrupted. "Captain Dameron."

It was Commander Rider. He looked as old as ever, one hand clinging tightly to the cane that he held to in times of stress. But he too looked more relieved than anything.

Upon their turning, the Commander made a hasty approach. Hasty, but slowed by the limp that he had lived with since retirement from battle. He, like the others, was wild eyed searching for First Order defector.

"Where-"

"I can explain." Poe said, lifting a hand to stop his commander from completing the sentence he didn't want to hear a third time. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the recorder that BB-8 had given him. "It's all here, everything that B-...that was promised."

Relieved, Rider's shoulders dropped and he nodded. "Good lad."

Poe could still feel Jess and Snap's (and BB-8's) eyes on him, practically hear the questions that must have been darting about in their heads, but he kept his attention on his superior.

"Sir, I need to-"

"The General has anxiously awaited your return," Rider continued, with a wave of his free hand. "She requests your presence at once."

Poe swallowed, the temptation to jump back into the TIE Fighter was nearly overwhelming but . "Alright,"

He pushed off the TIE and made to follow the commander, who had already pivoted and was en route back to the control room.

"Poe, wait!" Jess called, stepping forward to match his pace. "What happened?"

"I'll explain later." Poe said, brushing her hand away. _If I ever figure out how to..._

* * *

The control room was a bustling hub of nervous energy. All comms systems were on alert. There wasn't a soul on the Resistance base that didn't know the First Order had somehow managed to ascertain their location and the moment of attack could come at anytime. After they had successfully, if not miraculously, laid waste to the colossal starkiller, Leia had ordered all evacuation protocols to be prepped. The base on D'Qar was far too valuable to abandon preemptively. It was now a waiting game. A game that had seemingly lived up to its name and remained on hold as if patient for Poe's return. And for that, Poe was thankful.

At the center of the hub, stationed in front of a circular holographic projector stood General Leia, her eyes trained on a report. Lieutenant Connix stood next to her, anxiously bouncing on the balls of her feet. The Lieutenant was several years younger than Poe, but she was just as (if not more) ambitious and they had quickly struck up a friendly albeit a slightly competitive rapor not long after meeting. Poe had on occasion joked that the young woman had enough fortitude to pilot a fighter of her own. It was meant both as a compliment and a gentle ribbing, but Connix, more than pleased with her current career course always waved him off with a laugh and a half hearted roll of her eyes.

"You're late." Leia said, without looking up. If she was at all relieved by his return, she hid it behind her usual clipped timbre.

"I was delayed." Poe said, trying at the playful tones she always expected from him, but even he could hear the edge that had burrowed into his throat. He knew he had a report to make, but the more time he wasted here, the more likely it would be for him to lose the Exalt to a lightspeed jump. To further complicate things, It was a damn near impossible task to hide anything from General Organa. Sure enough, her head whipped towards him, those steely eyes drawing up, down and over him in a swift inspection.

"And alone it seems." She said, brow rising. The other commanders nearby grumbled their dissatisfaction with this development, but Leia pointedly ignored them waiting patiently for Poe to explain himself.

"I-Yes, ma'am." Poe nodded, unable to gather much of a story from the mess swirling around in his head. "But the mission is complete. Everything is here."

He lifted the recorder towards her, his eyes turning away so as not to catch even a glance of that knowing look he was certain Leia now wore.

 _Everything but…_

Poe loosed a frustrated sigh, drawing curious glances from the rebels closest to them. He stretched his arm out further, practically pleading for her to take to the recorder. Then, his mission would be complete and he could jump back into the TIE and drag Bel, kicking and screaming if need be, from that nightmarish ship.

Leia handed the report off to Connix, instructing her relay it to Admiral Ackbar. But she did not reach for the device.

"Ma'am, if you'll allow it," Poe began as Connix dutifully hurried off. "I'd like to go back-"

"Absolutely not." Leia said simply, almost cheerfully.

"But-" Poe tried again, stepping forward with his arm still out stretched.

"Your mission is not yet completed, Captain." Leia said, nodding to another officer. "I'll need you to come with me and make a full repo-"

"I can't do that ma'am." Poe said, igniting a silence in the hub that had seemed impossible ony seconds ago. Leia barely gave notice. She turned to Rider, who was looking upon his young ward with wide, flabbergasted eyes. "Commander, I trust you will transcribe and document the information contained in the recorder while I have a word with Captain Dameron?"

Rider nodded and without a word, swiped the device from Poe's outstretched hand and lumbered off.

"Come with me," Leia said, pressing a button on the screen to dismiss the projection.

"I'm fine, ma'am." Poe said, blinking and perturbed. "I didn't-"

"Time is not on our side, Dameron." Leia said, almost gently.

She ushered him towards a room at the back of the hub and typed an eight digit code into the nearby keypad.

"I don't believe I have the clearance to-" Poe said.

"I'm aware, Poe." Leia interrupted, with a breadth of amusement. "But you're with me."

As they entered, a series of small lights flickered to life on the walls. The room was empty save for a small oval table and a smattering of chairs. A smaller projector sat at the center, but it was turned off. Leia lowered herself into the chair at the head of the table. Poe, unsure of his place and still anxious to leave, stood by the door.

"Have a seat." Leia said, gesturing to the one at her right. "And tell me what happened."

Poe nodded stiffly, unable to hide his growing impatience. He took uneven steps towards her side, his feet heavy, and lowered himself into the chair, his grip on both its arms slipping in his sweaty palms. He leaned back in the chair, his head still woozy. Finally, as a wave of exhaustion overtook him, he realized how foolish he was being. He couldn't go after her. The ship was likely gone already. The chances of him finding it there were maddeningly slim.

 _I just left her there._ He lamented. But there was nothing he could do about it now...except tell his story. At first he didn't know where to start, but after taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he leaned forward, resting his forearms against the table and dove into it head first.

"Everything went smoothly until I made it to the bunker…"

Leia listened patiently, her eyes never wavering from his, though at Poe couldn't bring himself to meet them. The right words were hard to find, but it was imperative that he make her understand. She had, after all, accepted Finn into their ranks without a second thought. He spoke quickly then, coming closer and closer to the part of the story that he knew would be the hardest for the General to hear.

"Before they could start." Poe said, hands tightening into fists. "The door burst open and...it was Ren."

Poe stopped, unable to continue on. A question had come to him and he knew he couldn't let it go unanswered.

"Did you know?" Poe asked, even as a voice in his head told him to drop it. "That she was a doctor? Did you know who was under her charge?"

"She told me, yes." Leia answered. "But that is not why I sent you out. No doubt the information you have there is valuable. I would have sent you regardless of her connections, it was her rank and rank alone that interested me and the commanding forces."

Leia paused, a far off look overtaking her withering features as she brought her hands together, resting her chin atop them.

"As a General, commanding these men and women...that is my answer." Her voice turning thick. "But as a mother, Poe…"

She trailed off.

"I had hoped that you would not have met him again. Not in that way." She said finally.

Poe flared, but sat back in the chair. He thought of his own mother, of the darker sides of the stories she had told him when he first expressed interest in becoming a pilot 'just like she had been.' He could remember the fear living behind her eyes, as she regailed him with the harrowing tales of watching her husband as she left, of the terror that gripped her during their separations, of wondering if she would ever see him again. What was it she had warned him of? Fear like that breeds desperation. He could hear the remnants of her voice as he watched Leia, _There were some days when I would've done anything to see him again, to know he was alright, to look into his eyes._ Lifting one fist to his mouth, Poe nodded.

"I shouldn't have left her there." He said, matching her honesty with his own. "With those...men. She's certain she can survive it because of him but I can't believe…"

He trailed off as a wave of possibilities assaulted his mind. Was that the last time he would see her? The thought was unbearable.

Leia reached out, covering his hand with her own.

"It's not...Kylo Ren, ma'am." He backtracked, surprised to realize he meant it. "It's her brother, General Hux. It's not him I'm afraid of. It's...the power he's amassed. Those officers they were hers to begin with, but they rallied behind him so quickly, only one of them was loyal to Bel. If he has his way...he could crush her. And I-I just left her there."

Leia smiled knowingly, "General Hux has been placed in a position of power, yes. He may be ambitious enough to keep it but I think you'll find that we women are made of more cunning stuff."

Poe flashed a grin, but it was quick to fade.

"If something happens to her, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself." He said after a beat. It felt good, to say it out loud; to release it.

Leia laughed softly. "You sound just like your father,"

Poe blinked, pride bubbling in his chest. But it was a strange sensation. It was a compliment, he knew that much. One rare and coveted, but it feel on his numb and tired brain like a feather, bearing little weight. Somehow, it didn't feel earned. Not yet.

"I think the same thing," She continued, "everytime I watch you or any of the others fly away. This is war, Poe. Sometimes, somehow, it can be easy to forget that. But if we're going to win this, we have to take all the help we can get. This wasn't your choice to make, I'm just glad you were smart enough to let her take the risk. I know that, if the tables were turned, you would've wanted her to do the same thing."

Poe relented with a jerk of a nod, but couldn't shake the crease in his brow. A knock came at the door.

"General." Came the muffled voice of Rider. "We're ready for you."

Leia nodded and waved him away.

"It gets easier." She said, rising up to her feet.

Poe forced a perfunctory laugh, his eyelids were growing heavier by the minute. "I'll take your word."

Leia placed her hand on his shoulder briefly as she passed him by and headed towards the door.

"Get some rest, Dameron. There will be a briefing to discuss what you brought back in the morning. I want you there," Leia said, "...Commander."

Poe's head shot up. He gazed at Leia for a moment, before casting his eyes around the room, but Rider had heeded the General's words and was nowhere to be seen.

"I-what?" He turned back to Leia. There was a glint in her gray eyes, "Commander…"

He lifted two fingers to his chest, "are you still talking to me?"

Leia smiled and tilted her head down. "I take it you accept, Dameron?"

"I-" He stumbled, ears ringing. "Hell yes, ma'am."

* * *

Bel stood in her assigned quarters in front of a large window, her eyes trained on the flickering, starry expanse stretched out before the ship. It all seemed so still. And she had never felt so small in all her life.

On occasion, the eerie silence that had purged through every room and hallway was broken by a clatter or groan. The Exalt was an ancient ship in comparison to what she was used to and it wasn't hard to imagine that at anytime its crumbling tech would fail them entirely. But there was nothing to be done about it now.

The crew, made up of thoroughly exhausted survivors frightened out of their wits, had their orders: wait.

They would no longer be returning to Snoke's hideaway in the Unknowns, to the unnamed planet where she had spent the last three years of her life tending to and caring for the Knights of Ren and their fearsome master. Instead, he would be coming to them. So the ship was stalled, burning what fuel they had, floating quietly in space far away from any planet or outpost.

Bel recognized the move, and she was certain her brother and Kylo did as well. It was a scare tactic, plain and simple. Snoke's ship was heavily stocked with the highest level of tech available. If had he wanted to, he could've been there in seconds. But he was biding his time and would likely let his arrival go utterly unannounced. They wouldn't know his ship was incoming until it was already on top of them. And then, one by one, they would be called to his chambers to explain the heady succession of failures that had transpired over the past few days. But until that time, all they could do was wait...and wonder endlessly what fates befell them.

In her hand, Bel clutched the transmitter, holding it tightly to her chest just over her heart. It had quickly become a habit, in the five days since Poe's escape.

 _Five days…_ Her lips parted as a tired sigh slipped through. She leaned forward, her head touching the glass. Her free hand came to join it, the pads of her fingers touching gently to the window, it's chilled surface sending minute shock waves through her nervous system.

Somehow it felt like five years. Her eyes slipped shut as she welcomed in the cold and thought back to that day on the snowy cliff side. Her hands would go numb as the vivid nature of the memory overwhelmed her. The day her life had changed. She had expected it to of course.

 _But not like this._ She thought, exhaustion plaguing her. Sleep was nearly impossible. Her dreams were all the same now. Memories shifted, the snow melted away and she was under water again. Angry waves pressed up against her from all sides, chilling her to the bone. Water and salt flooded her lungs as she tried to push against the furies. She swam and swam, even though she wasn't sure whether or not she was heading in the direction of the surface or deeper into the abyss. And, just as she managed to breach the surface, just as she would open her mouth to call for Poe, she would wake; drenched in sweat and gasping for air.

And yet, somehow, those dreams were preferable to her time spent awake. She felt as though she was sinking further down with each passing hour and was at all times braced for the floor below her to fall open and swallow her up. At least in the dream she had known that Poe was close. Drowning maybe, just as she was. But he was there. Of that she was certain.

With his absence came a slew of confusing and altogether troubling emotions. She craved the touch of his hands, calloused as they were. She longed to look into his eyes, those dark, teasing pools of warmth and wit and boundless energy. She thought she hated them upon her first impression, but she knew better now. She wished she could go back to hating him, how easy _that_ had been. She wanted nothing more than to go back to that dilapidated cabin, lay down in that busted up bed and listen to the sound of his breathing; convinced that it was the only thing that could bring peace to her heart, which was transformed in the wake of his departure. It was like a feather now, light and perpetually trembling, trying to convey to her mind that it was no longer complete. That a small piece had been torn away from the whole and it was desperate to retrieve it.

She realized on the third day, that this was what it was to miss someone. To feel so deeply and surely that she needed them by her side _now_ and forever. She had never felt it before. Had never cared enough about a person to note their absence with such vulnerable and dangerous emotions. She knew deep down she had only ever cared about Kylo's well being, but she had been by his side whenever possible. Never far away, in all the time she had known him.

The days she had spent with Poe had, at the time, felt like years all on their own. But now that they had passed...they seemed to have lasted only seconds. And Poe was gone. Lightyears away. She felt the distance like a wound festering in her chest. And yet, with all the knowledge she had amassed during a life dedicated to study and practice she had no way to treat it. She had been opened up, carved apart and, at her own insistence, she been left to bleed. Alone.

She breathed in deeply, fist tightening around the transmitter as a shuddering murmur passed through her.

 _I wanted this. I chose this._ She reminded herself. _I stayed to do...to do...anything I can._

At first, she was at a loss for what exactly that was, she only knew why she had chosen to stay. Poe had done so much for the Resistance already. How could she call herself worthy of his attention and affections as nothing more than a cowardly defector? Passing along what little information she had amassed so far. It wasn't enough. It wouldn't be enough until the war was over and Snoke was destroyed. Only then would her heart be at rest. Only then would the guilt and the hatred leave her. On then would she believe herself worthy of a free life. Of a happy life with Poe at her side.

But she had no training, no idea of how to be a proper spy. And to make matters worse, Armitage had, in a desperate attempt to enact even a sliver of power over her in light of Kylo's ultimatum, banned her from the bridge. Whether or not he suspected her intentions, Bel wasn't yet sure. She had seen very little of him, seeing as he spent most of his time secluded to his own chambers, shouting orders and most likely plotting some new stratagem to gain back the favor his failures had so thoroughly dismantled. Bel knew she couldn't fight it, there was no reason for her to be on the bridge unless Kylo was. And even then her presence could be deemed worthy of questioning. Not that it mattered. Kylo too seemed to be avoiding her and everyone else aboard the _Exalt_. She had seen him once, removing the stitches and employing the bandaging that would expedite the healing process. She had asked then what he had said to her brother to ensure his silence, trying as best she could to gently mask her demands to know as a passing curiosity. But he wouldn't be cajoled. He gave her no answer, no piece of mind. He ordered her away...and hadn't called for her since.

To her relief, Kylo had ordered most of her staff away, too. They were to return to the Unknowns, where his Knights waited. He said nothing of the events that had transpired in the operating room. He didn't have to. That was, Bel surmised, the good fortune of fear. They had heard the rage in his voice and had witnessed what would happen to those who dared to push forward in spite of it. The sway of the Dark Side was more than enough to buy their silence and Snoke wouldn't think to question them or anyone else unless he had ample reason. Amaris was the only one left. Bel was happy to have her, but unsure how to use her. She wanted instead only to protect her and find a way to repay her for the risks she had taken. They spoke little of it for now, worried that they could be overheard and found out. For if there was one thing Bel had learned under the employ of the First Order it was that there was always, _**always**_ , someone or something listening.

So she was left alone. The wonder and pine with nothing to busy herself with but a storm of thoughts. They whirled around her. She would reach for them, hoping something would catch. But as soon as she had it in her grasp it would be torn away as another one, a more pressing one caught her eye. And so the cycle would continue.

Unable to sleep, Bel had taken to wandering the halls when she couldn't stand the dark confines of her quarters, hoping that perhaps she would stumble across...well, anything at all. Pocketing the transmitter, she headed out, leaving the starry view behind. Unfortunately it didn't take very long until she ran into the exact person she actively worked to avoid. Her brother's slippery second in command, the devious Captain Opan.

"Serana," He said with a stiff nod, refusing to address her by her title no doubt in misplaced deference to Armitage. There were those in the First Order that saw the Hux siblings as unworthy of their status. Their father, Brendol Hux, had schemed himself to a position of power, only to lose it in a show of grandiose weakness. It was a cruel, if not fair, assessment to believe his offspring had resorted to the same methods. Armitage certainly had. He may have been kicked on many an occasion. But he was never down for good. If anything, every jab only embolden him further. He was, like their father, so poisoned by greed and ambition that nothing, not even Snoke, could force the fight out of him.

"Captain," Bel said, tilting her chin up and forcing an easy smile onto her jaded face.

"Heading to the bridge?" Opan sneered, casting a scathing grin to the officer companion at his side.

Bel's smile only widened. "I wouldn't dream of it. Not after my brother requested I remain away."

Her words were coated in sugar, perhaps too much so, but she was certain that Opan would always suspect her of something no matter how she acted, no doubt having received strict orders to keep an eye on her, time permitting. Sure enough, the corners of his mouth twitched as she spoke, but he only nodded his head. There was a troubling spark in his eye, one Bel had seen before.

Armitage had something in the works, she was sure of it.

"How is Armitage?" Bel continued, amused as Opan's turned a ghostly white at the sound of his masters given name. "I haven't seen him since...my return. I hope he hasn't taken ill?"

Opan's lips came together in a straight line and he blew a haughty puff of air from his flared nostrils. "Not at all."

"Well," Bel said, picking at her thumbnail. "I would be happy to look him over if-"

"Captain Opan" Came a scratchy call over from the ceiling speakers. "Report to the bridge at once."

It was the General himself. Bel and the captain exchanged a look of surprise. Without a word, Opan turned on his heal and hurried off, the officer in tow behind him.

Bel's hands turned to fists at her sides as she watched him go. She was desperate to follow, but knew she wouldn't be allowed in.

 _What's going on?_ She though, mind racing. _I have to know-_

She stopped, an idea birthing in the back of her mind. The comms in her quarters had been deactivated...but they certainly would be functioning in Kylo's.

 _Whatever it is...he'll want to know, too._

Risking yet another turn of his temper, Bel hurried down the hall towards his chambers. She rounded the corner and pounded her fist against his door three times. No response came. She looked down the hallway, to her left and then right. Upon seeing no one she knocked again.

"Kylo?" She called, adrenaline hammering through her veins.

Still, nothing.

"Kylo please." She whispered, pressing up against the door. "It's urgent."

She met met with silence. Pressing her hand to the door, she pushed herself back. Bel tilted her head up towards the ceiling, her eyes slipping shut. She was tired and hungry and wanted nothing more to leave that damned ship and never step aboard another destroyer again.

 _There's only one way to manage that._ She told herself. Swallowing hard, she pressed the code into the keypad and entered the room unprompted.

To her surprise she found it empty.

 _Has he…? Kylo could very well be on the bridge himself. Which means nothing's stopping me from-_

Bel spun around, entering a series of numbers into the internal keypad. It fell shut and her command and she heard the bolting of the lock. Turning round again and pressed the comms button that sat at the center of a small table at the center of the room.

"Bridge" She spat in a whisper. Her heart jumped into her throat as the system tried to connect.

 _Come on, come on._ Bel thought, gripping the table with both of her gloved hands and leaning over the speaker. _He couldn't have disabled this one too-_

Mercifully, after a series of static blips, the speaker rang clear and she could hear her brother's voice.

 _Yes!_ Bel thought, her hand diving into her pocket to retrieve the transmitter.

* * *

D'Qar was a comparatively small planet. The days, it seemed, turned swiftly into nights. Patchy shadows cast by the vast and rocky ring surrounding it would turn quickly to pink against the planet's low rolling hills before darkening against the waning light of its two small moons which hung in the sky like the watchful eyes of a silent spirit.

Poe sat atop the hanger that housed his trusty x-wing, legs hanging over the side and swaying deftly back and forth. Before him lay a handsome view of vine wrapped trees and sprawling hilltops often likened to burrows by the resistance crews stationed there. Insects trilled loudly from all sides, their songs mixing together to near deafening results. Some of them, lovingly named spark-plugs by the Resistance techs, flashed a warm, amber light as they darted and spun through the air. Poe watched them, knowing full well that soon the morning fog would begin to roll in from the east and the base would erupt into action. But he couldn't possibly sleep, he had enough endorphins swimming through him to last at least another week.

 _Commander Dameron._ He thought, allowing the words to linger in his head. After hours of council meetings and speedy orientations, he finally had a day to himself between resting and refueling. Of course, before he could wander off on his own, Jess and Snap and the rest of his team had caught hold of him and insisted on a celebration in the wake of his surprise promotion. The revelries had lasted well into the night and Poe could still feel the remnants of elation thanks to all the cheering and felicitations that had been thrown his way.

At his side sat one of the many bottles he had enjoyed throughout the night, open but still full. He had little need for it now. He shut his eyes, breathing in the scents of the surrounding jungle; the fresh waters and heady plant life, the ripe fruits and musty soils. He was partial to D'Qar. It reminded him of his home on Yavin and the ranchlands he had been raised on.

 _Mom and dad..._ he thought, rubbing at his eyes with his palms.

Leia's words floated around in his head. _You sound just like your father._

Nearly bereft, Poe tilted his gaze to the stars. It wasn't often that he allowed himself to think of his parents. Of how much he missed them since their passing. He could remember summer nights similar to these, when they would sit outside around a hearty fire surrounded by visiting friends, eating, drinking and swapping stories. His mother would lead the circle while his father would up and return with drinks and the food he'd slaved over since the morning. Children and adults alike would laugh until their throats were sore and after the guests had left, Shara would take her son up in her arms and hold him until he fell asleep positively drunk on joy and the fullness of his belly.

 _What would they say now?_ Poe thought, smiling to himself.

He couldn't be sure. It had been so long since he had heard their voices. With each passing year the bank of memories he had compiled as a boy had begun to slowly fade, one by one. He knew someday he would lose them entirely, but he would always have the warmth in his heart and the visions of their faces. And the one memory that had never yielded to the passing of time. His mother's last words to him.

"Live in the light, fight for it…" She had said, "and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams."

He could still feel her hand holding his, her grip growing weaker and weaker as she finally yielded to sickness after years of fighting. He could remember his father's hand on his shoulder, taking hold of him as the pain of loss began to settle in their bones. But it was now, in the lingering haze of his promotion that he felt that pain deeper than ever before.

A series of inquisitive beeps broke through the haze and Poe turned to see BB-8 roll up beside him.

"Hey buddy," He said, straightening as his greeting caught in his throat. Half-heartedly he reached out and scratched his fingers at the little droids center. But nothing could get past that circular black eye. The tiny dot of a red iris blinked as it's head tilted downward.

"It's nothing, I-" Poe said, sensing the question.

BB-8 trilled again.

"I know, I know." Poe said, with a laugh. "I'm just tired, is'all."

The droid pushed against Poe's arm insistently.

"I mean it, I'm fine," Poe said, lifted his hand to rub the droids head. "Everything's...everything's fine."

The droid didn't push the matter further and for several minutes the two sat in silence.

"I should be happy." Poe said, finally. BB-8 turned his eye away from the landscape, listening intently. "I _am_ happy but...I mean this is what I always wanted I just…"

Poe struggled to find the words.

"I want more." He said after several seconds of deep thought.

He stuck his hand into his pocket, the backs of his fingers grazing against the transmitter and he pulled out what he had been searching for.

"Have I ever showed you this?" He said to BB-8.

The droid's eye zeroed in curiously as something shiny slid from Poe's grasp before catching on his finger and swaying side to side. It was a ring, somewhat dulled by age and wear, hung from a short silver chain.

"It belonged to my parents." Poe said. "Well, to my mom. Dad gave it to her after the war and he kept it after...after she was gone."

A small, sad little beep emitted from BB-8, but Poe chuckled.

"I know, I know." He said. "Trust me, they would've _loved_ you."

BB-8 trilled, it's head perking up again.

"He left it to me." Poe said, eyes trained on the ring. "And I think...I think I-"

He stopped, gathering it up in his palm.

"I think I've found someone I want to give it to." He said as he pulled the chain over his neck with a smile.

BB-8 was watching Poe carefully, a million questions whirring through it's processor. But as the early morning light crested the mountainscape before them, a shrill series of beeps broke through the peaceful ether. Poe leapt to his feet, recognizing it instantly. He plunged his hand into the pocket of his jacket, fingers closing around the transmitter. He fished it out and watched the analog message flash across the small screen at the center in a blazing red typeface.

 _ **They are coming. Three destroyers and one dreadnaut deployed.**_

* * *

Thank you all for reading! I guess this is an "in-between" chapter but I'll have the movie and the dialogue soon and every one is right where they should be for TLJ! I'd love to hear from you...until next time.


	14. Chapter 14

Finally I can tackle The Last Jedi! I should say that this chapter and the ones upcoming include dialogue from the movie of which I claim no ownership. This is a Kylo-centric chapter for sure, which made it super fun to write but also verrrryyy difficult. He's such a hard one to get right thanks to Rian, Lawrence and Adam. I can only hope I do him justice.

* * *

 **Revelations.**

Bel's grip on the transmitter grew tighter as behind her, stars were racing. She looked over her shoulder, her mind a blur as she watched them shutter, then morph into lines of blazing light, far more brilliant and concentrated than that of a saber. The jump to hyperspace came unprompted by any command. It was something that, even after all her years of moving from destroyer to planet to stronghold and back again, she had never gotten used to. Swallowing, she set the transmitter down and it began to rattle against the glass tabletop, shifting closer and closer to her hand. Bel couldn't bare look at it. Not until she was certain that a return message from Poe came through.

 _We should have tested it. What if I'm too late? What if it doesn't go through at all?_ She stepped away from the table, stretching her head from side to side in an attempt to dispel her nerves. Far too quickly, the ship carried to a halt. The silence and stillness that followed a hyperspace jump was always alarming to Bel.

 _Too late_. Bel thought, _Too bloody la-_

As if sensing the dangerously steady increase of her pulse, the small, rectangular screen flickered from gray to orange and began emitting a series of beeps. With a gasp Bel dove for it, her shaking fingers struggling to maintain a grip as vivid light gave way to text.

 _ **Hope you're there to see the show, Red.**_

 _The show!?_ Bel thought, the unease bubbling in her gut ony all the more stirred. As she read the message again, she could hear Poe's voice as clear as day in the back of her mind. It was distant, like a faint echo, but all too real. Her mind, unhelpful and spiraling, called up images of his feverish form, limp from exhaustion. Followed closely by others: his hands gripping the controls of the carrier, the wild and dangerous look in his eyes as he tried to guide them down to Craas, the radiant, roguish smile that sparked across his face before he plunged into the dark waters of the hot spring.

 _So just what is it you have planned_ _ **now**_ _, flyboy?_ She thought, fingers enclosing around the transmitter before she stuffed it into a hidden pocket in the hem of her navy, high-collared tunic.

She didn't have to wait long. Captain Opan's voice, pompous and deferential all at once, sounded through the speaker on the table.

"We've caught them in the middle of their evacuation."

 _Oh no._

Bel stepped away from the table and back to the window, the heels of her boots clacking against the floor. With her quarters located portside, she had to press close to the edge of the window in order to make out anything of note. The Exalt had flown into the orbit of a vibrantly green planet, only just larger than Craas. Sure enough, in the distance she could see a string of small transports racing towards a larger ship.

 _Is this…?_ Bel thought, sucking in a breath. _Is this all that is left of the resistance?_

"I have my orders from Supreme Leader Snoke himself," There was a gleeful edge to her brothers voice, one that Bel knew all too well. Her upper lip curled in disgust; she could practically see the imperious smile that must have been gracing his face. "This is where we snuff out the Resistance once and for all."

 _Orders? But I didn't hear them come through…_ Could her brother have realized she was listening in? And if he had, why was he allowing her to continue on?

 _Unless he wants me to hear._ She thought. She lifted one hand to her mouth. Her teeth gnawed at a nail as she tried to feel her way towards her brother's train of thought.

"Tell Captain Cannady to prime his dreadnaut, incinerate their base, destroy their transports and obliterate their fleet."

As if on cue, a massive Dreadnaut was flung from hyperspace straight into Bel's line of sight. They were predatory machines, designed to eradicate even the most dire of threats. Truly abysmal creations, absurdly armed and outfitted with enough power and men to destroy hundreds of planets should the need arise.

"General, Resistance ship approaching, guns and shields in attack mode."

Bel pressed her forehead against the glass, trying to approve her line of sight.

 _Please tell me that's not-_

"Attention, this is Commander Poe Dameron of the Republic fleet. I have an urgent communicae for General Hux."

 _Of course it is._ Bel lifted her head back and smacked it against the glass as a string of whispered curses escaped her lips. "Oh, you...you _idiot flyboy_.

"This is General Hux of the First Order." Armitage responded with his trademark serpentine decorum. "The Republic is no more. Your fleet are rebel scum and war criminals. Tell your precious princess there will be _no_ terms, there will be _no_ surrender."

Bel, along with the rest of the crew, waited for the response to come but for several seconds there was nothing but silence. Until...

"Hi, I'm holding for General Hugs."

Bel's hand flew to her mouth as a laugh forced its way out, her trepidation dissipating along with it.

"This is Hux." Armitage sniped. "You and your friends are doomed. We will wipe your filth from the galaxy!" Though his words were cutting, even the crew must have heard the tremor in his voice, signifying that his armor had been well and truly pierced.

"...Okay, I'll hold." Poe continued, chipperly.

 _Crazy, stupid - he's out of his mind._ Bel thought, even as her smile grew beneath her fingers.

"Can you...can he hear me?" Her brother said, seemingly having forgotten his voice was still being projected across the comms. Bel bit down on her index finger as another roaring laugh threatening to spill out of her.

"Hugs? With an "H" ...Skinny guy. Kinda pasty." Poe continued, driving the knife in deeper.

"I can hear you." Hux responded, the rage and fluster now ever more apparent over the comms system. "Can you hear me?"

 _Oh brother._ Bel mused, her eyes trained on Poe's light fighter. _How easily vexed you are. Poe, what on earth are you planning?_

"Look I can't wait forever." Poe continued, amiably.

 _Stalling._ Bel realized. _He's stalling._

"If he's not available, just put his sister on…"

Bel's head whirled towards the speaker, heat crawling steadily up her neck.

"I hear she's much easier on the eyes."

Pangs of heat shot through her, licking her insides like long-doused flames. She allowed, or rather she couldn't help but allow, a simmering smile to breach what was left of her well-practiced stoicism. Her fingers touched the chilled window, desperate to break through and reach for Poe. After all he was closer to her now than her had been these past five days.

 _Close but still so far_ , Bel thought; her feather heart feeling the ache of that chasm, that void of airless space that separated them, barren and perilous. How it mocked her. She turned, pressing her back to the window, her chin tilting up as her hand trailed down her face and to her neck. The heat was just as prevalent there, she could sense the color of it, feel it churning pleasantly in her stomach. Until it wasn't.

Quite suddenly, a flicker of shadow swayed silently in her peripheral and her blood ran cold. A warning. She was not alone. There in the doorway stood Kylo, his eyes fixed on her with a deadly precision.

Bel hurriedly pushed herself off the window, her body morphing into one of pin-straight posture. She could feel the radio in it's hidden pocket, a trick of her panicked mind made it seem heavier. So heavy it could plunge through the tightly sewn compartment and drop to the floor with a loud clatter for him to see. That is, if he hadn't sensed it already. She banished the thought into the dark halls of her mind and locked it away.

 _How long?_ Bel thought. _How long was he standing there!?_

Far too long. Something dense and static-ridden had begun to fill the room. Dark force energy. It leaked from Kylo like plumes of heavy smoke. Invisible, but deadly. It continued to expand, no corner and crevice in the room left empty. Before her attempted desertion, Bel had nothing to compare it to, but as it rolled over her, pressure steadily building, she was reminded distinctly of the crashing waves on Craas as they flooded the ship and swallowed her up. Locking her arms together behind her back, Bel gripped her right wrist with her left hand, squeezing so tightly she could feel her nails pierce through the thick fabric of her uniform and threaten to sink into her forearm. It was a ploy she had adapted early into her tenure as Kylo's physician; a reminder that there were worse things than having to swallow one's pride. She shifted her gaze down in a show of submission, waiting for what could only be the impending burn of a force mind invasion. But it didn't come. As the seconds dredged by her temptation to look at him grew more fervent. She pressed her lips together, her grip on her arm tightening, straining every muscle in her body as instinct implored her to run.

 _Don't be a fool._ Bel reminded herself.

The silence guttered as Kylo stepped forward, closing the space between them with four unwieldy steps. Although he had always been lethal, Kylo had never managed to master stealth. His footfalls were always heavy, weighted down by the tension that seemed forever coiled inside of him; begging for release yet never receiving it.

"It was you." Kylo said, his voice terrifying low and oddly sedate. Nevertheless, against every ounce of will contained in her nerves, Bel felt her body jerk at the sound of it. Her mind was racing to settle on a response but nothing came to her and the silence swelled. It was the sort of silence only found in the eye of a hurricane. As still and as controlled as it seemed, it was surrounded on all sides by perilous, raging winds. "...who helped the pilot escape."

Eyelids fluttering, Bel let the answer slide from her on the tails of a single drawn breath.

"Yes."

There was no point in hiding her conviction. Nothing could be gained by feigning regret she did not feel. Poe was alive and (relatively) unharmed. What else could she say? A lie would be fruitless. An apology, foolish. He wanted an answer from her. He wanted the truth. It was all she had to give. So, with nothing left to lose, she tilted her chin upward to meet his gaze only to find it was looking past her to a faraway place she could not see.

Behind her an explosion of fire ignited, sending waves of amber light into the room. Bel was desperate to turn, to see if it had been Poe's ship or the dreadnaut to sustain damage, but Kylo's eyes, black like pits, drew her in. He looked as exhausted as she felt. Dark lines, swollen and flush, hung under his eyes. His hair was beginning to mat from the sweat and oils that covered his head and face with a faint sheen. In his eyes, storm clouds swirled.

"Why?" He said, breath quaking.

Bel shook her head deftly. She tried to swallow, but her mouth and throat had gone dry. She suspected the rest of her body would soon follow suit. She wanted to continue speaking the truth but how could she make him understand? It seemed impossible. And she was running out of time. The unyielding pressure of the force was beginning to seep through her skin, spinning and morphing into waves of dread that filled her stomach and made her queasy. All the strength inside her winnowed and her limbs went lax. She stumbled backwards, casting a glance at the window. _The Dreadnaut._ She realized, relief fluttering through her. A gloved hand caught hold of her arm just under her shoulder. She glanced down at it as Kylo's grip tightened and he pulled her to him with chilling ease.

"Serana," He was commanding now, having overcome the initial shock of betrayal. "Look at me."

Nearly petrified, it took tremendous effort to comply. But comply she did, vision blurring as water accumulated in her eyes. She was frightened yes, but something else was blackening her resolve. She had betrayed him a second time, willingly and without regret. At the time it had been so easy, but now that she was faced with him, with his anger and his pain, she felt those very emotions reflecting in her own heart. Since their first meeting, there had always existed between them a silent pact, a level of trust and understanding that was somehow able to cultivate even in the paranoiac, power hungry confines of the First Order. In two strokes, she had managed to destroy that which had taken years to build.

"Kylo, plea-"

Her belated appeal was swallowed up as he mentally redirected the simmering swells of energy. They carressed the walls of her mind like the froths of flames currently engulfing the dreadnaut, hot and hungry. There was no time, no shields she could summon to put him off. She hissed as they pressed forward. Her vision went black. Her knees quaked and she was certain she would fall. His other hand enclosed around her free arm, keeping her steady. Her head lolled back as the force filled her head, rifling through her thoughts and quickly doing away the present ones to delve into the past. She whimpered, mortified as visions of her time with Poe were unwillingly called forth. But relief came crashing over her as the pain and the fear of the force breach gave way to the strength of those memories.

They seemed more potent now, as if she were truly reliving them all over again. She could feel the chill of the waves, her bones turning to ice as she fought the current, the overwhelming smell of salt stung her nostrils, the exhaustion that accompanied the pathetic flailing of her limbs fell over her as she tried to drag Poe's limp body from the ocean's angry maw. The memory faded as another was conjured. Again, she found herself bent over the pilot, inspecting his head wound and trying to ignore the tumble of her heart when she noted how close they really were. It was soon followed by the pleasing spark that slithered through her each time they bickered, batting words back and forth as if they had known each other for years. The spark only grew, well and truly stoked by each roguish smile he sent her way. The strange, enveloping sense of peace that lulled her to sleep as she lay next to him on that broken bed, watching his chest steadily rise and steadily fall in a bath of clear blue moonlight. It grew and grew until it reached nearly stifling proportions, her heart blazing as she found herself sat once again in front of that dying fire, the embers pulsing with light in time with her heavily thrumming heart as her gaze narrowed in on Poe's lips, her mind focused intently on the timbre of his voice, the feel of his rough skin against hers as he pulled her up and into his arms-

As quickly as the rapture had come, it's end was somehow even more instantaneous. Bel gasped, air flooding into her starved lungs as her senses were relinquished. Spots of ink black light danced before her eyes as she felt his grip on her fall away. She teetered on tired feet but managed to keep from falling, fear creeping back into the forefront.

Shakily, Bel lowered herself into the chair beside her. She gripped one of its arms with both hands, panting as beads of sweat dripped down her temple towards her jawline. It was all she had been hoping to dream of. All she worried she would one day forget. She had experienced what it was to fall for him all over again with the swiftness of a single breath, each and every fraught feeling condensed into seconds...only this time, she wasn't alone. Kylo had seen it all, _felt_ it all, right alongside her. Such was the nature of the force.

Kylo remained, frightfully still, where she had left him. She didn't know what to say, her words had been stolen. What was left?

"Kylo, I-"

Her words cut through the din and he pivoted, his heavy cape billowing back behind him. For several seconds he paced, flexing and clenching his hands, seemingly as speechless as she was. Finally he halted in front of the sink and mirror that had been built into the wall. He reached for his mask, but his hand dropped instead to the counter, clutching it as he doubled over. Bel watched him. She could make out half of his face in the mirror's reflection but couldn't read his expression. There was so much there, turmoil and confusion. She could sense his rage, feel it directed at her and at himself. Always at himself.

"I-I can't explain it," Bel tried, needing to combat the silence. When he didn't respond, she pressed on. If she was to survive this, she needed to make him understand.

"I wish I could. I...there's a part of me that wishes I felt none of it but-"

A light on the door's keypad flashed red, accompanied by a shrill voice. Her brother.

"Ren," Hux spat through the comms, his voice even more garrish thanks to the static. "The Supreme Leader has summoned us both to the _Supremacy_ , a transport is being prepped now."

Kylo made no move to respond. It was doubtful Armitage expected an answer, anyway. Bel kept her eyes on Kylo, waiting and poised to rise. Several moments passed before he released a gust of air and pushed off of the counter. Bel rose to her feet. _He can't leave. He has to understand._ Kylo grabbed his mask and made for the door. Against all whims of self-preservation, Bel stepped into his path. He nearly collided with her.

"Wait," She said, breathless.

He opened his mouth to admonish her, but she pressed on. She lifted both hands and placed them on either side of his neck, her thumbs grazing his jawline before pressing into his skin so that she could search for his pulse. Just as she expected, it was erratic. His skin was hot, nearly feverish.

"You know you can't go to him like this." Bel said, her voice now quiet in an attempt to soothe him. "Take a breath."

His hand gripped her elbow and he made an attempt to brush her off, but Bel held her ground. She could see in his eyes that he knew she was right. But he was fighting it. His anger had not been given time to dissipate and she knew he had every right to resent her. She had been caught in a lie. It was a miracle she was still standing. He attempted to drag one of her arms down and away his grip turning vice-like and painful.

"Move." He seethed, refusing to look at her. "Now, before I-"

"Kylo," Bel implored, her frustration slipping through her defenses. "You _know_ I'm right. You know what he'll do. Just...I need you breathe. _Please_."

She felt something, warm and wet, slip from the corner of her eye and slink down her face. She watched as Kylo's gaze moved to it, following it. Reluctantly, his grip loosened and his hand fell away. Bel allowed herself a sigh of relief, there was no point in holding anything back now. He had forced his will into her, into the very heart of her. What was left of her he had seen. And judged. She pushed those thoughts away and moved her hand back in place. Slowly and gently, she tightened her hold on him. Her palms were just like his, slick with sweat and uncomfortably warm.

"In," She breathed, a show that her instructions were not aimed solely at him. "...and out."

She repeated the words several times over, feeling his pulse, waiting for it (and for hers) to slow.

Once she was satisfied that he had calmed some she asked, "Better?"

He only nodded gruffly in a manner that was all but reassuring. Thankfully, most of the color had faded from his face, but Bel couldn't deny what she saw in the shadow of his dark eyes. The rage was still there. She was not forgiven. She wondered if she ever would be.

"Good…" Bel paused, then flinched. If her brother too had been called by Snoke, she knew what she had to do. "Then I'm coming with you."

She half expected him to argue with her or outright refuse. Instead he did something she wasn't expecting. He looked down at the mask still clutched in his hand...and considered.

"Well?" She said after too many seconds had passed.

He lifted his hand, offering the mask to her. Her lips morphed into a disapproving line. She knew how Snoke felt about the mask. If anything, it was the only she she and their wizened leader had ever agreed on, but she was in no position to argue. So she took it from him and rose up on the balls of her feet to affix the godforsaken thing to his head. Once it clicked into place, he brushed past her and headed for the door. Bel inhaled, readying herself, but her head at once empty and full. Nevertheless, she gathered her wits and followed in Kylo's footsteps.

* * *

The Supremacy was unlike any other ship in the First Order's once massive fleet. Stalked to bursting with the newest and most experimental tech, each room and every hall was painted over in sleek dark tones which, thanks to a peppy drove of minute drones was never anything but perfectly clean. The ship itself had traveled the length of the galaxy three or four times over in it's tenure but had spent most of its time in the Unknowns, floating like a predatory creature in a sea of stars.

It was the closest thing to a home Bel had known. She had spent most of her time on the ship, in the med bay, on the sidelines of the training docks, and in quarters she was fortunate to call her own; placed right round the corner from Kylo's. Only a handful of officers were granted their own quarters and though it was small, Bel treasured that private, surveillance-free, space more than she did her titles, her promotions or anything else. At least, she had. Until Poe came along.

She shook thoughts of him away, pushing them deep down into the lowest caverns of her mind and locking them away. It was in this moment, now more than ever that she had to be guarded. For if Snoke sensed even the smallest of anomalies in her mind, she was surely a dead woman walking. As per usual, she followed two steps behind Kylo and memories of her old life, ones that felt light years behind her, came floating back to the surface. It was far too easy to slip back into her old ways of life, but that was to be expected. Since birth she had been trained by her father in the ways of a high ranking officer. She held her head steady, her posture immaculate, her steps falling perfectly in line with Kylo's. She had pulled her hair back up, rolling it into a tight bun at the nape of her neck, careful to slip anything unruly back into place. Her uniform was navy in color, bearing the marking of her rank and department. She took sharp, swift breaths in and out of her nose; her lips pursed into a thin, impenetrable line. Her brow's tilted down, her eyes were like ice and steel melded together. In truth, her head was still reeling from the pressures of the force...and the tension that still hung in the air between them.

 _Close,_ Bel lamented. _I was so close._

They arrived at a lift, the only one that led to the throne room where Snoke ruled. Shut away from all but those whose presence he demanded. For all the power he had amassed, the Supreme Leader was a fragile man. There was talk throughout the Order that without his hold on the force, Snoke's aging body would fail him and he would collapse to death. Leaving nothing behind but a sack of rotting skin and bones like dust. Travel was hard on him and even the jump to lightspeed seemed to irk him at times. It only made sense, then, to hoard himself away surrounded by a guard of viciously adept soldiers in a room nearly equal in its splendor and its duress.

Kylo stepped in first. Bel followed, shifting to reestablish her place to his right, but still very clearly behind him. The operator at the door, an officer Bel recognized but who's name she had never bothered to learn, shot a curious glance at the pair of them before the doors slid shut, sealing them in.

Gears turned and the lift rose steadily, it's speed only adding to the nausea that was enveloping Bel. She slid her eyes shut, breathing in deeply and focusing on the sound of her heart, holding the air in hopes the uneven beats would right themselves. She breathed out through her teeth, her eyelids throbbing and she pushed them tighter and tighter together.

"You know I can't protect you in there."

Bel's entire body lurched, any semblance of calm scattering. She could hear the anger still, but it was simmering just below something else. Something that sounded like honesty. And remorse.

 _I could very well be breathing my final breaths._ She thought, a shiver cold as ice raking up her spine. _But with Armitage there...I have to know. If there's even the smallest of chances to glean some information and survive to send it, I have to..._

"I know." She said finally, winced at the raw, throaty sound of her own voice. A sure sign of fear. One Snoke would recognize.

"Kylo, I-"

The doors opened with a hiss, swallowing up her words. Kylo walked through and Bel could do nothing but follow.

The Supremacy was no Starkiller Base, but the grandiosity of the throne room, with it's vibrantly violent red walls and sleek black and gray finishes argued otherwise. To be called to the presence of the Supreme Leader was as much an honor as it was a call to agonize over the reasoning behind it. There was never a guarantee that, once you entered the elevator, you would ever be seen again. Upon first arriving to the ship, Bel was unwillingly treated to an array of hushed rumors over what had befallen the physicians that had come before her and it was those memories that flashed through her head now.

"Tied on a string, indeed General Hux. Well done." The Supreme Leader croaked, his voice a stone in the pit of Bel's stomach. To Bel's surprise he seemed...pleased with her brother.

 _But, that can't be._ She thought, now following several steps behind Kylo. _Starkiller Base was destroyed on his watch and the map recovered by the resistance thanks in part to one of Armitage's storm troopers. That cannot possibly be forgi-_

Bel faltered, stumbling ever slightly on her feet as the realization panged through her. She trained her eyes on Kylo, on the stiffness of his shoulders. She could still feel the force radiating off him, like cooling tendrils of smoke.

 _Unless...that must be how Kylo was able to buy my brother's silence. Snoke doesn't even know what role a stormtrooper played in the losing of the map._

Her survival. It all depended on Kylo.

 _ **I can't protect you in there.**_

"The resistance will soon be in our grasp." Snoke continued, relaxing into his chair. The Supreme Leader had long ago abandoned more formal attire for the sake of comfort. He was dressed in a simple but immaculately gilded robe. It was a favorite of his and a stark contrast to the cold, unyielding industry he chose to surround himself in. And yet, even when hunched over on his throne like a cripple, Snoke commanded the room and always manage to seem larger than all who dared approach, even Kylo.

"Thank you, Supreme Leader." Hux said. Bel's eyes rolled back into her head. She never had been able to stomach her father and brothers penchant for groveling, something that simultaneously amused and annoyed The Supreme Leader. With a curt bow, Armitage spun on one slick booted heel, knowing he had been dismissed. As he passed by Kylo his pockmarked face morphed into a hideous sneer. Kylo, his form somehow no less a hardened shadow even in the presence of Snoke, didn't seem to notice, let alone acknowledge him. Decidedly snubbed, Hux turned his shocking blue eyes to Bel and as he passed her by his shoulder rammed into hers, throwing her measured pace off balance and knocking air from her lungs. Bel bit down on her lip, keeping even the smallest of noises locked inside her and quickly found her footing. She made to shoot a fiery glare over her shoulder but stopped herself, instead cocking her head back and managing a calm, cool smile instead. It would be foolish to attempt a retaliation...for now. Besides, nothing irked her brother more than her composure in the face of his needling. But there was no time to gage his reaction.

The room, as mightily crafted as it was, seemed to tremble and quake as Snoke emitted a rumbling chuckle. Her brother stilled for a moment, most likely struck by the same jolt of panic that all officers felt whenever called to the chambers of their high ruler. Bel too, found herself stumbling into motion and pivoted, halting next to the guard stationed nearby, some twenty or so feet from where Kylo had dipped down on one leg to kneel in front of his master. Bel had always thought it strange to see Kylo adopt a more submissive stance. Amongst all other company he emitted such strength and power it was an alarming about-face to witness, something she believed she would never get used to.

"You wonder why I keep a rabid curr in such a place of power." Snoke drawled, answering a question that had not been posed. It was no secret, however, that there was no love loss between Snoke's young general and his chosen apprentice. Bel was certain Snoke preferred it this way. "Because weakness, properly manipulated can be a sharp tool."

A heady beat of silence thrummed through the room and it's occupants before he spoke again.

"How's your wound?" He asked, all amusement sapped from his voice. His eyes, unevenly space on his putrid, bulbous head shifted momentarily to Bel, focusing on her stony features with his usual accusatory air. She met his gaze collectedly, almost uninterested, as was her way. Anything out of the ordinary would surely draw unwanted suspicions. Nevertheless, she gripped her wrist tightly behind her back, forcing all the tension roiling within her to a single, hidden point.

"Taken care of." Kylo answered, his words were clipped but assured. Seemingly appeased, Snoke's eyes shifted downward, all his attention returning to his student.

"The mighty Kylo Ren." He intoned, "When I found you…"

Snoke sucked in a greedy breath, tremors of static swelling around him. Bel's nostrils flared. The guard to her right, shifted on his feet ever slightly. Readying himself.

 _Not good._

"I saw what all masters live to see. Raw, untamed power and beyond that something truly special. The potential of your bloodline. A new _Vader_."

The name was like a balm on his ancient tongue and left his chapped mouth in a reverent purr that echoed ominously around the room, turning Bel's stomach. There was weight to it, even now. She kept her eyes trained to the ground, to the reflection she could see as still as stone against the mirrored tiles beneath her feet.

"Now I fear, I was mistaken."

Bel's eyes flew upwards as her heart plunged down. _What is he doing?_

Kylo was already unstable. _This could very well push him over the edge._

Like the ache of an old wound, Bel felt white hot anger pulse through her veins. She had always been protective of Kylo and, because of her position, always been at odds with Snoke's constant machinations. In secret, when they were alone, she was desperate to derail the tracks Snoke so viciously laid, but was rarely as successful as she hoped she could be. Even now, even after Kylo had raided her mind and shattered her shields, she could feel those defenses were on alert.

"I've given everything I have to you." Kylo said, the tremor in his mask-mangled voice fretfully apparent. "To the dark side."

"Take that ridiculous thing off." Snoke ordered, no longer bothering to bridle his anger. Bel's grip tightened on her arm, she could feel her pulse beating heavily against her grasp, but she kept her head turned down. _I shouldn't have come._ She heard the hiss as the straps of the mask were loosened and it was pulled free.

"Yes, there it is." Snoke murmured "You have too much of your parent's heart in you. Young _Solo_."

"I killed Han Solo." Kylo insisted, but Snoke only turned away, seemingly unconvinced. "When the moment came I didn't hesitate."

"And look at you." Snoke, spat, rearing at Kylo once more. "The deed's split your spirit to the bone. You were _unbalanced_. Bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber. You failed!"

Kylo leapt to his feet, a burst of raw force energy emanating from him like a dust cloud, his cloak slinking to the floor. Bel, against her better judgment, stepped forward and opened her mouth but Snoke was surprisingly quick on his feet. With a lazy wave of his hand jagged coils of blue light shot forth, hitting Kylo square in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards into a heap on the ground. Bel jerked forward, aiming to land at his side on her knees, but the guards were set on alert and the one by her side caught hold of her collar. Knowing better than to argue, Bel fell back into place, but her eyes were trained on Kylo, silently urging him to get up, less any delay anger Snoke further.

Snoke raged on, unperturbed by the commotion. "Skywalker lives. The seed of the jedi order lives. As long as it does, hope lives in the galaxy."

Thankfully Kylo, scrambled up and the guards fell back in line. Bel wrestled herself free and took a small step to the side. Anything to create a little bit of distance between herself and the guard.

"I thought you would be the one to snuff it out." Snoke grumbled, slowly returning to his seat. "Alas, you're no Vader."

He lowered himself uneasily into the chair.

"You're just a child. In a mask."

He turned his head, lifting on hand towards the back of the room. A dismissal.

Kylo turned, mask in hand, taking labored strides towards the door. Gingerly, Bel took a step forward, dipped down and grabbed a fistful of his cloak, pulling the heavy fabric up into her arms and turned to follow.

"Lieutenant Hux," Snoke called, before she could take a second step. Bel halted, her lips curling into a grimace. _Shit._ The guard beside her stiffened, then shifted slightly. With a near robotic cadence, he moved his weapon to his left hand so that it's point, throbbing with red bolts of energy blocked Bel's path.

She cast a helpless, pleading eye past the guard towards Kylo. He didn't stop, didn't even slow or look back, leaving her to reckon with Snoke on her own. She hoped to catch his eye when he turned, but his eyes shot right through her; lost to the dark. Dread turned to defeat and Bel's shoulders fell. Snoke's words had hit their mark. Whatever sliver of hope she had to cling to was dashed. How could she have been so foolish?

 _I had his trust. And now..._

"We have much to discuss." Snoke finished.

Bel sucked in a breath and turned to face Snoke. She heard the doors of the elevator seal shut behind her. Her shoulders straightened and she did what she could to push the terror down, down, down. Her reputation amongst the officers was all she had now. So with a toss of her head, she imagined herself to be made of stone, hardened and unemotional. Quietly, with as much grace as she could muster, still clutching Kylo's cape, she knelt down one knee.

"Ah-" Snoke tutted, a terrifyingly amused ease returning to his voice. "No need, my dear."

He gestured towards the space in front of him. With a amiable nod, Bel approached. Snoke rested his chin on one hand, regarding her with his usual curious affection. Many officers in the First Order where the children of those that had fought for the Empire and had subsequently lost their lives in the wake of the death star's destruction. Bel knew that Snoke felt, in his own way, as though he were a parent to the thousands of orphaned souls. Some, like her brother, played to those notions. Others, like Bel, only allowed them so as to further their own paths.

"You disagree with my methods." Snoke said. It wasn't a question.

Bel's mind raced, sifting carefully through her words to craft the best response. She had found, after nearly eight years of service, that speaking in half truths and avoiding even the smallest of lies whenever possible was key to surviving an encounter with Snoke's discerning eye.

"My opinions are entirely inconsequential," Bel said, dipping her head low in a signed of feigned resignation. "...Supreme Leader."

Every muscle in her body tensed as she waited. She could feel his eyes on her, regarding her; waiting perhaps for her resolve to crack. Her eyes fluttered in her head as the seconds ticked by.

"What happened to your face, my dear?" He asked, lifting one gnarled finger towards her cheek, where a splotch of color, still stained her skin thank to her brothers fist.

Bel swallowed, a lump like stone forming in her throat and trapping her answer inside.

 _Shit._ She thought, as his grotesquely pinched mouth spread wider.

"Has my apprentice-" He began.

"No," Bel interjected with a bite she couldn't contain. She flinched, realizing too late what she had done. Interrupting the Supreme Leader...it was a fledgling's error.

Against her better judgement, Bel lifted her chin up. Sure enough, surprise and ire now reflected in Snoke's gaze.

"I-forgive me, Supreme Leader." Bel scrambled, dropping to her knees. She dipped her head down low in a show of shame. "He has never had reason to-he would _never_ -"

She could only hope that her stammering was enough to pull his attention in the direction she wanted it to go. If he thought her outburst was born of concern over her standing, well, that was in line with the character she had been carefully crafting since the job had been forced upon her by her overreaching father. Unlike her brother, she had never hungered for power but for the security that came with the skills she had honed.

"Ah but it seems someone has…" Snoke pressed, not bother to feign concern or hide his amusement.

Bel weighed her options with the sparse seconds she had.

"A...disagreement between siblings." Bel said, purposefully muddling her truthful response in hopes he would read into it further. "It seems my presence on the bridge is bothersome to my brother."

"Heh," Snoke chuckled. The feuds between Bel and Armitage were well known throughout the order. It was well within her brothers character to attempt to enact dominance over Bel whenever possible.

"Now tell me, Serana." Snoke said, her birth name rolling off his tongue with sickening ease. Bel's breath hitched in her mouth.

"What is the extent of the damage to my apprentice?"

Relief flooded through her like a shock of adrenaline. _A report. That's all he wanted._

Bel rose to her feet, still clutching tightly to the cloak. "The wound at his side was concerning, Supreme Leader..."

She rattled through her report with practiced efficiency, but Snoke's gaze drifted away from her several seconds in.

 _He's already bored with me._ Bel thought. _That's good._

"Very well, Lieutenant." He said, waving her off before she was able to complete the report. "You are to remain here until the last of the resistance has been dealt with."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." Bel said.

"My apprentice will be greatly challenged in the coming days." Snoke said. "If he displays any...troubling behaviour…"

Snoke trailed off for a moment. Bel shifted uneasily on her feet.

"I expect an immediate report. Understood."

"Understood, Supreme Leader."

"Good girl." Snoke said, "That's all."

Bel didn't need to be told a second time. Her senses blurred as she moved swiftly towards the elevator. She waited until they closed, until several achingly slow seconds passed, before she allowed herself to breathe again. Her back fell against the wall as the car raced down closer and closer to relative safety. Somehow, by some miracle, she was still alive.

 _Now what?_ She thought, _Kylo, I have to find-_

Her boot shifted and something hard caught underneath it, scraping loudly against the floor. She looked down.

 _Oh no._

A chill mauled her spine as she took in the scene she had been too relieved to notice at first glance. Bits of metal and glass covered the floor of the car and amongst it...the remnants of the mask, now utterly destroyed.

Just as Bel knelt down to inspect it, the doors opened. She jumped to her feet and was met with the blanched faces of two officers, only one of which she recognized. They did not seem to realize she was there, however. Their eyes were trained to the right, mouths agape and faces drained of color. It was a look Bel had seen on many an occasion.

"Where is he?" Bel demanded. Both flinched at the sound of her exacting question.

"Lieutenant! I believe, I think he was heading towards his chambers, ma'am-." The female petty officer stuttered.

Bel made to breeze past them and make chase but the officer continued. "-the techs have already begun to prep his ship as requested."

Bel whirled on him. "What? Why? The Resis-the rebels jumped to hyperspace, did they not?"

The two officers shared a knowing look, the female beaming with pride. "It won't do them much good, ma'am. Now that General Hux can track them."

 _Track-?! No...no that's impossible._

"Excuse me," Bel muttered, pushing past them. They bowed attentively, boots clapping together as they allowed her, a superior officer, to pass.

 _Their uniforms...R.D. Techs, the pair of them._ Bel struggled to keep a speedy pace, her mind racing to piece together what it all meant. _Tracking them is no great feat, why should Snoke praise my brother through-_

Snoke's words echoed in her head. _**Tied on a string indeed, General Hux.**_

 _If Armitage can track them through hyperspace-_

Bel hit the corner and finding it empty, broke into a run.

 _I have to warn Poe. Now, before it's too late._

* * *

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would love to hear from you.


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